Chapter 12: King of Wolves
1340 Words
-Helena-
Killing yourself?
Wylder’s words echoed inside my head. I couldn’t look at him as he asked me this. Yes, I had wanted to die for a while. I had just wanted it all to stop, only my mother had kept me going. She loved me so much and, despite feeling nothing, I also loved her. I didn’t want to hurt her. She didn’t deserve that just because I had been rejected. I wouldn’t hurt her, but sh!t… for a long time I had wanted nothing more than for it all to turn quiet, so I could just… just get some peace! I could almost see out of the corner of my eye how Wylder was pretty much shaking with anger. He didn’t want to hear this, and as my mate, I understood. No mate would want to hear such things! But we would not stay mates. I didn’t want us to. I wanted us to just… go our separate ways. I wanted him to leave me alone, so I could just…
Kill ourselves?
Amaya finished the sentence for me, but not in an angry way, like she disagreed with me. Amaya was more onboard than I was. She was done too. She was so… destroyed by what had happened. Suddenly though, Wylder grabbed my chin hard, and I winced a little because he grabbed it that hard. I might be a wolf, but he had alpha strength.
“Let me never hear you say or imply something like that again!” he growled at me.
I shoved his hand away.
“It’s not up to you!”
“But it is!” he shouted. “Now as your mate it is! And you will do nothing to hurt yourself. You will not go back alone. We will go back to grab some stuff and then you’re moving in here with me.”
I stood up, and he just followed, meeting me head-on.
“That is not your decision to make!”
“It is! As your Alpha, it is!”
“You’re not my Alpha!” I shouted.
“But I am. The moment we found out we were mates, I became your alpha, and whether or not you like that, it is going to stay that way!”
“Well, then maybe I should just reject you?”
“What?”
What?
I stared shocked at Wylder, who had completely frozen, and I had too. I realized suddenly what I had said, and I hated myself for it. I knew what it meant by getting rejected. I knew how much it hurt and what it did to you. How it destroyed you, and now I had thrown it in Wylder’s face. How could I do that? I began shaking my head. I had just been angry. Too angry to see reason and the words had slipped out.
“I…”
“Is that what you want to do?” he asked, looking at me, mortified.
“No… I…”
“Helena, be straight with me now. IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT TO DO?” he growled.
I swallowed nervously. Taking a moment to ask myself that question. Did I? I quickly knew my answer. Even my wolf was shaking her head. She might not want to accept him either, but she couldn’t allow us to hurt him like that. We wouldn’t want to hurt anyone like that.
“I will not let you say them!” he said darkly. “Ever!”
“I don’t want to!” I yelled.
“Then why the f*ck would you say that?”
“Because you made me mad!”
“You make me mad as well!”
“Then maybe we should just go our separate ways!” I said.
“No!”
“Why?”
“Because mates can make each other mad as well, but they don’t throw a rejection at each other as a threat!”
“I am sorry!” I said, actually meaning that, because I hadn’t meant to throw it in his face.
Wylder seemed surprised, and some of his anger seemed to disappear.
“You’re sorry?” he asked.
“I am! I didn’t… mean to… say that. It slipped out,” I said.
“So, you don’t want to reject me?”
I sighed and shook my head.
“But you don’t want to accept me either?”
“I just… think it is best if we have nothing more to do with each other. I just… want to be on my own,” I whispered as I looked down at the ground. “I think that would be for the best.”
I could hear Wylder sigh. He seemed to get quite tired of me, and who could blame him? I had acted stubbornly. I had bitten him and I had threatened to reject him. Wow… what a mess I was. It was strange to realize just how big of one I was, but it only gave me more reasons for us not to be together. We wouldn’t work.
“I don’t agree,” he said.
“I am really not someone you want as a mate…”
“Why not?” he asked.
“I am a…”
“And if you say a lone wolf, I throw you across my knee,” he said.
I looked up at him, shocked. What did he just say? He smiled smugly, though, clearly finding himself amusing. He wasn’t serious… was he?
“You don’t think I would do it?” he asked, as if he had read my mind.
“Would you?”
“Do you want to find out?” he asked.
I looked at him a little suspiciously, looking him up and down, and then smiled a little.
“You wouldn’t,” I said.
“Oh?”
“Why would you want to do that?”
“Because you would learn not to speak so little of yourself and it would turn us both on.”
My mouth went right open. How the f*ck would it turn us on that he was spanking me? I almost turned to my wolf, hoping she had some answers for me.
Oh, don’t try to ask me! I am as confused as you!
“Wow, that really made you think it over. You want to try it now?” he asked and stepped closer.
I shook my head and held up my hands.
“No, I am good.”
“Then don’t let me hear you talk about yourself in that way.”
“Wylder…”
“Give me a proper reason we don’t work or why I shouldn’t want you as my mate.”
I thought it over, trying to find good reasons, but the ones I had were the ones I had already thrown at him, and he didn’t seem to accept those.
“I have already told you why, and you won’t accept them.”
“Then come with a good one.”
“They are good!” I said.
“No, they aren’t.”
“Do you have any idea what people might say about you if you had a lone wolf as your Luna?”
“How lucky I got?”
“No, how unlucky,” I told him. “They would make fun of you. It would drag your name through the mud.”
Wylder began to laugh, and it shocked me. I stared at him, not sure what to say, and he saw the look on my face.
“You really don’t know who I am, do you?” he asked.
“Should I?”
“I will tell you on the way to your house, but I must say it is refreshing,” he said. “It’s been a while since I have run into someone who didn’t know who I was right away.”
“And who exactly are you?”
“You could almost say, I am the king of the wolves.”
- Writer
