Loving and Loathing Thy Mate

Chapter 2 Penny's POV

Three days before .....

I was the strongest female fighter in my pack, with Beta blood running through my veins, I could even beat most men in a fight. I was disciplined, focused and determined to become one of the alpha's high ranking guards. Even with beta blood in my system, it wasn't something that usually happened. A female being a high-ranked guard. Not in our pack anyway. I bet I could even beat the Alpha's current beta in a fight. I had heard other packs allowing females to be more equal, but our Alpha was a lot more old school and old-fashioned. Women were meant to rear pups and care for the men and the house.

We were trained, don't get me wrong. Just for if we ever did need to fight, then we wouldn't be defenseless. The alpha acted like we were all equal, preached about it even in his alpha speeches. But actions speak louder than words, and his actions backed up all my previous opinions I had just shared. Much to my dismay, my father was best friends with the alpha and his thinking matched the alphas. It was barbaric to think that way. But they secretly did. Why else would no females be high up in the ranks ?

I had a friend, he was the one that would help me train. We have been friends since pups. Brendan. He would teach me what he had learned in training. That was another thing. Males and females trained separately. And Brendan showed me that they definitely got the better training. My hope was the Alpha would one day see how good I was and change his mind.

With that in mind, I jumped up and kicked out. Hitting Brendan square in the chest. He stumbled back and laughed. " Damn it Penny, you know I am not actually an enemy you are fighting, right ? Ease up, I just did three hours of training before I came here. I am already beat "he smiled. I looked at my friend, shaggy brown hair, blue eyes, tanned skin and a rock solid body. Not to mention a smile that was strikingly beautiful. And also my secret hook up. Brendan and I had lost our viginitys to eachother when we had both shifted for the first time. Our birthdays were coincidentally on the same day, and we had both shifted on the same day for the first time too; our eighteenth. That was four years ago.

I think we had both thought we would be each other's mates, and growing up we promised to wait for our mates. Give them our virginity. It was us saying we would be each other's first without saying it, we were adamant that we would be mates. But when we hadn't been, it was a shock. Not just to us, to everyone. Anyway, skip to four days after our first shift. It was a full moon. And well, wolves get a little frisky at full moons. Given it was our first, the call to give in to that need was much stronger than our will and promise to wait for our fated mates. And we figured we always planned to be each other's first, so why not just be it anyway. It was a new promise we made to each other , when the full moon friskyness called. We would be there for each other to meet our needs, until one of us found our mate.

Which has yet to happen, so we often partake in the act, not just on full moon nights too. Wolves were just horn dogs all the time. We didn't really need a full moon. The full moon just enhanced how horny we normally are by about a thousand. So we figured why not.

" Sorry Brendan, I just have all this energy. I spoke to dad again this morning, to just ask the alpha to give me a shot. Dad has seen me fight some of the men, he knows how good I am. I just needed the alpha to come see it for himself. Then maybe he might actually listen. But dad just growled that the alpha didn't have time for my issues. Dad's been a little weird lately, more grouchy than normal. He is hardly home and when he is, he is distracted " I huffed.

Brendan reached for his water bottle and took a drink. " The whole of the high ranks have been distracted and tense lately. They have all been disappearing often too. Off the pack land. I overheard a conversation, but it didn't make sense " he shrugged.

That caught my attention. " What was it ? " I asked him, and he put his water bottle back down and smiled cheekily at me. He pushed his shorts down his hip, his hard throbbing member stood proudly against his stomach. " I'll tell you after you help me out with my little issue Penny " he winked. I bit my bottom lip. Between my legs got wet very quickly. And thoughts of gossip soon disappeared.

Grabbing my tank top, I pulled the small scarp of fabric off of my body and let the small piece of fabric fall to the floor. My breasts bounced free and Brendan's eyes zeroed in on them. His tongue darted out and licked his bottom lip. Even after years of doing this with him, he still looked at my body just as in awe and as greedy as he had that first time. I knew Brendan's feelings for me ran deeper than just friends and s*x. I think if I suggested it. He would even take me as a bond mate. But I wanted my fated mate.

Brendan would make a good mate , but something held me back. Something screamed no inside of me whenever I thought maybe I should just bond mate with him.

" I can help with your problem" I purred at him, and he rushed at me eagerly. He scooped me up and rushed us backwards so my back hit the bark of a tree. His lips went to my neck and I threw my head back, enjoying the feeling. For a moment at least. I would let him have his way. But then . . .

" On your knees Brendan" I breathed, and he pulled his lips back. He slowly put me down and dropped to his knees. I was more domineering than Brendan was. He had Beta blood like me, but he would never challenge me. He always let me get my own way. And as much as he now knew my body, he knew what I liked and we always had a nice time. It was just that though, nice. And that was what I thought the difference with my fated mate would be. I got bored with not being challenged, nice was just nice. I wanted fireworks. I wanted someone to actually tell me no. I'd expressed this to Brendan once, told him to just push me down and treat me roughly. To challenge my authority, and it had been awkward and a little laughable, it was no fault to him. Brendan was just too sweet to me. Brendan was just too charmingly cheeky. And I loved him for being that. So I decided not to try and change my sweet loveable best friend anymore. And I would be happy if it's nice, for now. Where I took the lead and the lead was never challenged. We would both meet our fated mates eventually. This wasn't a forever thing. But my fated mate would have to accept Brendan , our s****l contact would stop. But Brendan would always be my best friend.

" Strip my shorts off and show me how good that pretty mouth is" I told him and his eyes lit up eagerly. Once he stripped off my shorts, I leaned back against the tree, hooked one leg over his shoulder and hooked it around his neck and pulled him in and used the other leg for balance. I kept my grip strong and Brendan moaned and grunted as he tasted me. He could hardly breathe with my grip, what he would breathe was all me. My scent would be all he could smell and taste right now. But that was how he liked it.

His tongue lapped at me greedily, and I rested my head back and enjoyed the feeling. Soon, I felt the familiar tingles start and I smiled, eager for the release. Reaching down. I gripped his hair in my hand and held him tightly as I started to grind my hips and basically start to f*ck his whole face. I felt my hips shudder as the release rushed through me. I bit my lip to stop from screaming out, wolves and sensitive ears and all. The next thing we would have was just some curious wolves coming to investigate. I didn't fancy a peep show today.

I removed my leg from his neck and looked down at him. He was looking up at me, his face drenched with my release. My scent was strong all over him. But he grinned, his smile was one of pure happiness. I feared if I found my fated mate first. I wasn't so sure how he would handle it.

Turning , I pressed my chest up against the tree and perked my bum out for him. His hands were quickly on my hips and he was thrusting into me from behind. Even now, he could force me against the rough bark , slam into me. But he doesn't, he slowly pushes into me and then, even though he moves fast, he doesn't take control. He would never do anything to hurt me intentionally. But we are wolves. We can handle rough, we like rough. I crave rough.

He quietly moaned my name, I looked back, and his eyes were glued to my ass and where his member disappeared. A few more thrusts and he jolted. He quickly pulled it out and took himself in hand and then let it shoot all over my back. That was my rule. He would not finish in me. Silly I know, but I wanted that only for my fated mate. Plus, I wanted to lessen the chance of an accident pup with Brendan. It shouldn't happen to us, with us not being any form of mates. But just extra precautions. We were dressing when we heard the alphas howl. We were on the very edge of our packs land. A good fifteen-minute run even in wolf form to get back to the main pack.

We both glanced up in that direction, stunned as the alpha howled again.

" That is the Alpha's howl to say we are under attack ". Brendan looked at me. With a question in his eyes. He was silently asking me if he was right. Did he hear the howl right? I nodded my head in confirmation. We had been at the edge of our land, we could have run like cowards. If I had known what we would run into, if I had known what I know now, would I have run ?

I'm meant to look at you and see the devil.

But over time, your image changes and bends as if on cue.

How can you be the one meant for me ?

Your horrid, rancid and unkind

You promised you would break me. I spat and called you a swine.

You broke me before you consumed me , then I can not lie.

Your touch, your face, your scent gives me shivers.

Then sickness overtakes

How can I stare at my own destruction?

And not quake ?

How can I not stare at the devil and not fall and bend and break ?

Is it all true or just a sullen game ?

This is all mute , for I am gone consumed and ate

Would I have run ?