Chapter 9: How Much Longer
1133 Words
My heart slammed against my ribs.
Kai was sitting on the edge of my bed, close enough that I could feel the heat radiating from his body. His eyes glowed faintly in the dark — not as bright as during the fight, but still unnatural. Still dangerous.
“I don’t know how much longer I can hold back, Lila.”
His voice was low and rough, like every word cost him effort.
I stayed completely still under the covers. “Then maybe you should go back to the floor.”
A humorless breath left him. “I tried. I lasted two hours.”
Kai’s hand was still near my face, his fingers lightly touching a strand of my hair. He wasn’t fully caressing me… but he wasn’t pulling away either. The mate bond throbbed between us, stronger in the dark, making it harder to think clearly.
“You’re shaking again,” he murmured.
“Because you’re sitting on my bed in the middle of the night with glowing eyes.”
“I won’t hurt you.”
“That’s not what I’m afraid of.”
The words came out before I could stop them. Kai’s eyes narrowed slightly, and something darker flickered across his expression. He understood what I meant.
He slowly pulled his hand back, as if forcing himself to put distance between us. The loss of contact made the bond ache.
“I’ve been fighting this since the day you walked into my house,” he said quietly. “Every time you walk past me, every time I catch your scent, every time another male looks at you… my wolf pushes harder.”
I pushed myself up into a sitting position, keeping the blanket around me. “And what does your wolf want?”
Kai looked at me for a long moment. The silence felt heavy.
“He wants to claim you,” he said finally. “Properly. He wants to mark you so every other wolf knows who you belong to. He wants you close… under my hands… where I can protect you.”
My breath caught at the honesty in his voice.
“That’s why those wolves came after me,” I said.
“Yes. An unmarked mate is vulnerable. Until the bond is completed, you’re a weakness they can use against me.”
I stared at him. “So what happens if I keep rejecting it?”
Kai’s jaw tightened. He looked away toward the window, the muscles in his neck tense.
“The bond will keep growing. It will get more painful for both of us. My control will keep slipping. And eventually…” He paused. “Eventually my wolf might stop giving me a choice.”
Fear mixed with something warmer and more dangerous in my chest.
“That sounds like a threat.”
“It’s a warning.” Kai turned his head back to me. “I don’t want to force anything on you, Lila. But I also won’t pretend I’m not struggling.”
The soft moonlight cut across his face, highlighting the sharp lines of his jaw and the faint cut on his cheek from the fight. He looked exhausted… and hungry at the same time.
“Why me?” I asked quietly. “Out of everyone, why would fate choose me?”
Kai’s eyes softened just a little.
“I don’t know,” he admitted. “But the moment I saw you standing in that hallway, something inside me recognized you. It wasn’t logical. It was instinct. Like my soul already knew your name.”
The words hit deeper than I wanted them to.
For a moment, neither of us spoke. The only sound was our breathing and the quiet night outside. The pull between us felt almost physical now, like an invisible rope tightening with every second we stayed this close.
Kai moved slightly closer on the bed.
“Tell me to leave,” he said, voice low. “If you really want me to go back to the floor… say it.”
I opened my mouth.
The words didn’t come out.
Kai noticed. His eyes darkened, and the glow in them grew a little stronger. He lifted his hand again, slower this time, and gently brushed his knuckles along my cheek. The touch was barely there, but it sent heat racing through my entire body.
“Lila…” he whispered.
My name on his lips sounded different in the dark — softer, more dangerous.
He leaned in slightly, stopping just short of closing the distance between us. I could feel his breath against my skin. The mate bond surged so hard it almost hurt.
“I can wait,” Kai said, though his voice didn’t sound fully convinced. “But don’t ask me to stay away from you. I can’t do that anymore.”
Before I could reply, a sharp pain suddenly flared in my chest.
I gasped and pressed a hand over my heart.
Kai reacted instantly. “Lila?”
The pain came again — stronger this time — like something was pulling from the inside. My vision blurred for a second.
Kai grabbed my shoulders. “Look at me. What’s wrong?”
“I don’t know—” Another wave of pain cut me off. It felt like the bond itself was twisting.
Kai’s expression changed to something close to panic. He pulled me closer, one hand cupping the back of my neck as he pressed his forehead against mine.
“It’s the bond,” he said urgently. “It’s accelerating because of how close we’ve been… and because of the danger earlier.”
“Make it stop,” I whispered.
“I can’t. Not completely.” His voice was tight. “But I can stabilize it.”
“How?”
Kai pulled back just enough to meet my eyes. The gold in his irises was burning brighter than before.
“I need to give the bond a little of what it wants,” he said. “Not everything… just enough to calm it down.”
My heart was racing. “What does that mean?”
Kai’s thumb brushed over my jaw, his gaze dropping to my lips.
“It means I’m going to kiss you, Lila.”
The words hung between us like a spark ready to catch fire.
“And if I say no?” I whispered.
Kai’s eyes locked onto mine, filled with both restraint and raw need.
“Then I’ll find another way,” he said. “But the bond is hurting you right now… and I won’t sit here and watch that happen.”
His hand trembled slightly against my skin, showing how close he was to the edge.
“Decide,” Kai murmured. “Before I lose the ability to let you choose.”
- Writer
