His Regret: I Am Not Your Mate

Chapter 17

Chapter 17

Flora's POV

We broke camp at first light, the mission finally done, and the walk back felt longer than the ride out ever had. Eric walked ahead of me the whole way, his back straight, his pace even, never once turning around to check on me the way he used to without even seeming to think about it.

I walked behind him instead, close enough to stay with the group, far enough that neither of us had to pretend the silence between us was anything other than what it was.

Neither of us spoke. Not once, the entire morning. The rest of the patrol filled the quiet with their own chatter, relieved to be heading home, but between Eric and me there was nothing but the crunch of boots on dirt and a tension so thick I felt it pressing against my ribs with every step.

I told myself it didn't matter. I told myself a lot of things that week that weren't true.

We were maybe two hours from camp when the attack came.

It happened fast, the way it always did, wolves bursting from the treeline on both sides at once, cutting off the path forward and back in the same breath. Our patrol scattered into formation on instinct, blades out, snarls rising, the whole world narrowing down into noise and motion.

I froze for half a second, the way I always did at first, before training took over and I started scanning for anyone who needed steadying.

Then I saw him.

He stood at the front of the attacking line, tall, broad-shouldered, that same twisted, satisfied smile spreading slowly across his face the second his eyes landed on me. Nathan.

Everything in me went cold and still.

The nightmares crashed over me all at once, the rats, the claws, the dark room with no windows, his fists, his laughter while I screamed. My body remembered every second of it even as my mind tried to catch up, and I stood there frozen in the middle of the chaos, my satchel clutched to my chest, my legs refusing every order I gave them.

Move. Run. Do something.

Nothing happened. I just stood there, trembling, staring at the man who used to own every hour of my life, and felt myself sliding backward into every horror I thought I'd left behind.

"Flora!"

Eric's voice cut through the haze, sharp with something close to panic of his own. He was in front of me a heartbeat later, blade raised, putting his body fully between me and the wolves closing in.

"Look away from him," Eric snarled, low, urgent. "Flora, look at me. Only me."

I couldn't. My eyes stayed locked on Nathan even as Eric's shoulder blocked most of my view, even as the fight surged closer around us. Nathan's smile widened further, and he called out, his voice carrying easily over the noise.

"There she is," he said, almost fond, almost gentle, the same tone he used to use right before he hurt me worst. "My little soother. Did you miss me?"

Something inside me shattered at the sound of his voice, memories crashing harder, faster, the phantom feeling of claws crawling up my skin so vivid I nearly screamed.

Eric moved then, fast, brutal, cutting down the first wolf that came at us with a violence I'd never seen from him before, something feral and protective all wrapped into one motion. He kept himself angled between me and Nathan the whole time, never letting the man get closer, even as more rogues pressed in from every side.

I saw it happen before I understood what I was seeing. A tremor in Eric's hand, small at first, then worse. His breathing hitched between strikes, catching wrong, his face going pale even as he fought harder, faster, like he was trying to outrun whatever was rising inside him.

His panic. It was coming back, right here, right in the middle of the fight, and there was nowhere for either of us to retreat to this time.

"Eric," I managed, my voice barely a whisper, useless against the noise around us.

He heard me anyway. His jaw locked tight, and I watched him grit his teeth so hard I could see the muscle jump along his jaw, watched him force air into his lungs through sheer will alone, refusing to let his body betray him now, not with Nathan's men bearing down on us, not with me still frozen and shaking behind him.

"Not now," he growled, more to himself than to me. "Not now, damn it."

He roared then, a sound torn straight out of something desperate, and threw himself back into the fight with a fury that seemed to shove the shaking down by force alone, cutting through another attacker, then another, his movements just slightly too sharp, too wild, betraying the battle happening inside him even as he refused to let it stop him.

Nathan watched from a distance, that same twisted smile never leaving his face, clearly enjoying the chaos, clearly in no hurry to end it. Like he had all the time in the world. Like he already knew exactly how this was going to go.

"Bring her to me," Nathan called out to his men, almost lazy about it, "and I'll let the rest of you live."

Eric's whole body went rigid at that. I felt more than saw the fresh surge of fury rip through him, felt it in the ferocity of his next swing, but underneath it, I could still see his hands trembling faintly around the hilt of his blade, the panic clawing at him even as he forced himself to keep standing, keep fighting, keep shielding me with everything he had left.

I stood frozen behind him, Nathan's smile burned into my vision, my whole body locked in place between two forces I didn't know how to survive, watching the only thing standing between me and my worst nightmare start to shake apart at the seams.