Her Miracle

CHAPTER 19

The first thing that got inside my head was why was Kai here. Second, why was he straddled on top of my brother? My mouth hung wide open at the sight, dropping my bag on the floor. They were both shirtless. Thank god!

But still, it was a sigh I didn’t foresee. Kai and Aiden being gay. I was lied to. I took a deep breath in internalizing everything and I turned my back at them and rushed out the door. I ran as fast as I could with no destination in mind. 

“Andy!” Kai yelled with a voice filled with regret and apologies.

“Andy! Come back here!” Aiden trailed after Kai.

“Andy!”

“Andy!” 

I didn’t look back as they kept calling out my name. 

The roads were dark with the chills that run through the back of my spine as I continue to run. There were no cars. All I had was the lampposts and screeching from animals that roamed beyond those trees that led to the forests. 

Air finally got inside my lungs but the more I ran, my chest started to hurt. Instead, I steady on my tracks and walked. Shaking off the hurt from my chest. I looked around and realized I was coming back to Willoughby. 

The empty parking lot at night is empty with no laughter. I stop and stare at the school right in front of me. Nothing in my mind. My heart breaks more as I think about them. More reasons for me to get out of Castle Rock. The list goes on and on as time passes.

Aiden. 

Kai.

The lies. 

More Secrets. 

I don’t even know why I’m here. Willoughby is never my first on my impulse. Maybe I could’ve brought my feet down at Titus’ but I don’t want to sound like a desperate homeless puppy. 

I close my eyes to get rid of the thoughts. The rustling of the bushes startled me. I took a look and see a figure. 

Titus.

He stepped out from the dark and his shadow followed him. Titus cleared his throat with his face clearly from the lights surrounding the school. Concern was on his face. 

“What’s wrong? I saw you run and followed you.” Titus started. 

I couldn’t make myself answer. When I opened my mouth, nothing came out. He took a step towards me and took my hand, leaving where we stood. I pursed my lips as I followed him, leading the way. 

He did know Willoughby. We now walked on the green grass of the Lacrosse field. Our hands intertwined together. His palm’s warmth radiated into mine. A comfort I needed in seeing the sight back at the house. 

I still couldn’t get it on why either Kai or Aiden haven’t told me. The reason why Kai was barely showing up. Did he kiss his way just to get on the Lacrosse team too? 

We kept walking until we reached the middle of the field. 

I looked at Titus. “Are we playing Lacrosse?”

“You don’t see the gears, right? We aren’t.” Titus chuckles. 

“Then what?”

“Just follow me.” 

“I am…”

He stopped and laid down in the middle of the field with no care in the world if the green grass was damp with the rain or not. 

So I did. I laid down on the grass and tilted my head to stare at this free willy man. Who just comfortably let go of his problems as he stared at the dark skies, watching the sparkling stars I haven’t even noticed up until now. 

We kept our hands still. The support I needed, I guess. 

Just like him, I stare at the sky not giving a s**t about everything. 

“So we’re borrowing the field for a while?”

“Yeah, I think so…”

“Do you do this often?” 

“What?”

“Lying down in the Lacrosse field like it’s your favorite pastime?” I question with amusement in my voice. 

“Sometimes. It doesn’t matter where. The pastime I do is watch the stars. Those stars give me hope.” He nodded, tossing his problems and worries for a while.

“Lucky you…you can do this while afloat at your pool,” I say. 

“Yeah, sometimes I do that.” He places his arm under his head. “So what happened? It looks like you’re mortified and just ran like you’ve seen a ghost.”

Just like this, The moment he talks and asks me questions, he gets it out of me directly. It felt like an instinct to answer with no doubt nor hesitation. But when he does talk it out from me, it’s as if it wasn’t a problem anymore I should think about. It felt like he was freeing me from my worries. He always has been. 

“My brother and my best guy friend happened.” I groaned out. 

“What? Like they had s*x? And you’ve seen them do it?” He now tilted his head to face me with the same mortification plastered on my face. “Really? Wow…”

“Oh, I don’t know… Maybe? They were making out in our living room. The moment I wondered why the lights were barely on inside the house made it look dimmer. And yet, there they were...making out.”

“You never knew?” 

“Well, Kai has been coming to school with a worn-out face. He’s always tired and doesn’t eat with us during lunch. He kept saying he was busy with Lacrosse. But it wasn’t Lacrosse but a member of the Lacrosse team.” I sighed. 

“I see, I see,”

“I don’t even think Izzy knows. You should’ve met them but I never had the timing to introduce you.”

“Time will come, Andy.” He spoke with breath coming out of his mouth. “Are you okay with it?”

“Them being gay?"

“Them being together.” 

“Maybe? If they were just honest and told me in the first place… I don’t mind them being gay really. I’m even worried now how will they come out to this town.”

“The town hates gay people?”

“I don’t know… Maybe like them too… They haven’t gotten out yet. Scared to be ambushed by the entire town, cursing their name.” I explained.

“Just keep it to yourself. It’s their secret to tell. They’ll come out when they see the time fit.”

I nodded at his words. He was right. “I know… It just shocked me. My best friend and my older brother…”

“Let’s divert the topic, shall we?” His voice was calm. 

I don’t know what time it was anymore. The trees continue to sway with the strong breeze. 

“I had fun today with all the cleaning. How’s school?” He trails afterward with his dimple showing. Whenever he smiles, everything glows up including his eyes.

“I also did. There are times where I think that you’re always there to aid me with all the difficulties I’m facing. You’ve got great timing, Titus!” I mustered a laugh. “And school? Well, the usual. Head in the clouds and the new guy, Calyx, “

“Maybe, I’m just your lucky charm.” He also laughs with no limits. 

“Forget it. Your head might grow bigger!” I teased him. “By the way, the carnival starts tomorrow. Want to come and have fun? Izzy will be there too.” 

“You better have fun with Izzy. You’ve been with me too much…”

“Just like you, I’m now fond of you. We’re the same, Titus.” I mumbled. 

“It’s also the comfort you need when there’s no one else.”

Like, dad. He was the one who listened to me. 

“Your 5 dollar bill was my lucky charm.”

“It’s a start.” Titus sighed with his eyes still fixed at the sky. 

I miss my dad every single day ever since the accident. But every single day was also a reminder. That I was at fault and I was the living proof of the accident.

I could’ve died.

But I didn’t. 

“A start that people won’t remember me as the person who survived the accident?” I dropped my hand in one elbow, facing him.

“Do you know Ophiuchus and his story?” He said monotonously. His hair was now tousled with the way he had his hand at the back of his head. 

“Ophiuchus? Who is he?” 

“It’s that constellation.” He pointed up at the sky. “The serpent bearer, Ophiucus, was killed by Zeus with a bolt of lightning with the concern of making people become immortal. Hades as well had the same sentiments since the underworld might dry up or something.”

“Why?”

“He heals people and has the ability to bring people back to life. Ophiuchus is the son of Apollo.” 

“So what? I’m going to wish Ophiuchus that he’s going to bring back my father?”

“No.” He answers straightly. “Zeus killed him in order to make a balance. The accident isn’t your fault. You’re alive for a reason. The balance is, you’re alive. We all have and should have balance. Ophiuchus constellation was made in loving memory of Zeus. Don’t blame yourself, Andy. You’ll always have ways in remembering your dad but you’re not the reason why it did happen.”

He continued. “First of all, you did try to stop it. It was a situation that’s out of your hands. Not a 14-year-old girl could handle it. It was either you or your dad or both of you. The pain in your eyes is more than crystal. Stop battling with yourself. Breathe if you must.”

“And just like the stars, remember your dad. Look at the stars. They shine for you no matter what time it is in the night. Talk to the stars and they’ll teach you how to let go. And like me, they’ll give you hope that you can.”

I don’t think I need the stars. I need you, I wanted to say. He’s my pocket full of wisdom and sunshine to my dark days that nobody will ever be fit for the role. 

“Let the stars be a reminder that even if loved ones are gone, they’re all taken care of.”

“My dad being alive would’ve changed a lot of things if I was the one gone. My mom would’ve been less than a b***h to everyone-” I stared at the sky with those twinkling dots on different colors. 

I’ve learned that if those dots don’t twinkle, they’re planets. I don’t mind much about the sky. I’m always inside the house, just like my brothers, holed up inside my room. 

“For a matter of fact, Andy, it does. It does change things. Your dad might be filed a case upon. He might be in prison or something… Your mom still ends up alone. Your family still is the talk of the town, and your brothers are the pitiful ones.”

He did make a point. Yet, it still bothers me what did cause the accident. I let go of our hands clasped with each other to cup my mouth and scream all the mustered frustrations I had.