I Married A Hitman

Chapter Five-Nicole

After a long agonizing drive of silence we finally got to his home.

Ah yes, it's a penthouse.

Of course it's a penthouse

The penthouse was exactly as cold and lifeless as I had expected. It had floor-to-ceiling windows looked out over Chicago. The floors were pale marble and everything smelled faintly of expensive soap and nothing else, like no one had ever actually lived here long enough to leave a real trace.

Nate set my small suitcase down just inside the entryway and shrugged out of his suit jacket.

“Your room is down the hall. Second door on the left. Bathroom is connected. There’s food in the fridge if you’re hungry.” he said back to me

I stood frozen on the marble, the skirt of the white dress still brushing my legs. The words took a second to land.

“My room?" I repeated.

He glanced at me then, one eyebrow lifting the smallest fraction. “Yes.” his voice was deeper now and that didn't help at all.

Suspicion ran down my chest and I crossed my arms, the fabric of the dress pulling tight across my shoulders. “And the wedding night? How exactly do you want to go about that?”

His grey eyes searched my face then lowered to my neck and even lower and I hugged myself tighter. Then he turned away to hang the jacket over the back of a chair with careful precision before answering.

“I’m not touching you.” His voice stayed low and deep. “Not unless you want me to.”

The words landed like a hit I hadn’t braced for. I stared at him, waiting for the rest of it, the condition, or the threat, or a catch but not of it came.

He simply stood there in the open living room with his shirtsleeves still rolled back from the drive and watched me process what he had said.

“You’re serious,” I said finally.

“I don’t say things I don’t mean.” he said darkly

I didn’t know what to do with the sudden, unsteady feeling that moved through me.

Relief and suspicion were the only two emotions I had a name for.

I had spent the entire ride here bracing for the moment he would claim what the marriage legally gave him.

I had imagined how I would respond to it, take it eyes open or eyes cold without a sound or not let myself enjoy it and knowing how treacherous my body is from the kiss I was already dreading it.

The fact that he was offering me a door I could close felt almost more dangerous than if he had simply taken.

He gestured down the hall with a slight tilt of his head. “Come on. I’ll show you.”

I followed him on autopilot because I was still confused.

Surely, he must have something behind this, would he?

He walked with his hands clasped loosely behind his back, like he was deliberately taking up less space, like he knew exactly how close was too close.

He stopped by the second door on the left and opened into a large, sparsely furnished bedroom with the same floor-to-ceiling windows and a bed that looked like it had never been slept in. It had a private bathroom off to the right and everything was clean and expensive and completely empty of life.

Nate stopped just inside the doorway and didn’t step further in.

“Get some sleep,” he said. “We’ll talk in the morning about whatever rules you need to feel safe here.”

What?

He didn't mean that did he?

Did he just say he was going to be fine by the rules I was going to give him?

I turned to look at him, the faint red mark was still visible on his jaw from where I had hit him at the cemetery, he met my eyes without flinching.

“Why?” The question slipped out before I could stop it. “Why give me my own room? Why say you won’t touch me?”

For a moment I thought he might actually answer, and for the first time since I've known him his eyes looked a bit tired devoid of their coldness by a fraction just exhausted.

“Good night, Nicole.” he said and turned away

The door closed softly between us while I listened to his footsteps move away down the hall, then the quiet click of another door farther away.

I stood in the middle of the unfamiliar room for a long time, still wearing the white dress and still feeling the ghost of his mouth from the chapel and the careful distance he had kept the entire walk down the hall.

My knees gave out without warning.

I sank to the floor my back against the side of the bed, and the sob I had been holding since the cemetery tore out of me hard enough to hurt.

I pressed my forehead to my knees and cried until my throat burned and my eyes swelled and the expensive dress was damp and wrinkled beyond saving.

Every time I thought I was finished another wave hit, and the sick heat of that kiss all mixed together with my griefs until I couldn’t separate them anymore.

At some point the tears slowed and my breathing evened. I stayed on the floor with my arms wrapped around my legs

Sleep took me there, still in the wedding dress, still on the floor, with the taste of salt on my lips and the knowledge that the man on the other side of the wall had killed my father and I was married to him

And my body still couldn't fight the arousal I felt from that kiss