Between Lines

The Start?

I feel numb. I have no say over my own body. A peculiar sensation washes over me, as if the very essence of my existence is slowly dissipating into nothingness. It feels as though I am fading, but, at the same time, I can still feel things in this strange reality. The boundaries between the tangible and the intangible blur, leaving me suspended in a state of existential uncertainty. Where am I? Where am I walking to, and why? I looked down at my own hand and looked up once again at the long lines ahead of me. What am I? Every touch, every whisper, and every gust of wind carries with it a profound weight, as if the very fabric of this strange reality clings to my fading presence.

Right before me, there's a long line that seems to have no end. I turn to look behind me, and there is a long line of people, and right behind me is a woman standing as she looks ahead, as submissively still as I was before turning to look at her. It seems as though everyone on the line is on the same emotional level. I feel as though I must move forward and that nothing else matters. I doubt I know anyone here; I don't even know myself.

I quietly turned my attention to the walk ahead of me. I lift my eyes once more, taking in the seemingly endless expanse of long lines stretching out ahead, far from where I need to get to. It's just a feeling; I don't know where I need to be. There is a sense of leisure with each step I take, as if time has slowed down to match my leisurely pace. The queue, a serpentine ribbon of people, snaked its way through this long line that disappears as it reaches beyond my vision.

I feel alone. Even though I am not alone, I couldn't shake the overwhelming feeling of traversing a solitary path. In the midst of my solitude, a sudden interruption shattered the silence. A distant voice, barely audible at first, echoed through the air, reaching my ears with an eerie clarity. Its origin remained concealed, hidden in the shadows of the urge to keep walking forward. Then it became clear that it was coming from behind me, and my interest in checking grew. Curiosity piqued as the sound of hurried footsteps grew louder, their rhythm echoing with a sense of urgency. I turned my head, and with a slow, deliberate motion, I pivoted my body to face the group that had reached my left side. However, before I can fully comprehend the situation unfolding, a vibrant blue cloak is flung in my direction, striking my face with gentle force. My hand instinctively reaches out and grabs the trailing end of the cloak, which causes me to lose my balance. I staggered to the left side of the queue and tried to keep up with the speeding walk with the tip of the cloak in my grip, but I couldn't keep up with the mysterious figure's quick pace, so I fell to the ground on my knees and slammed the dusty ground against my chest.

They were completely preoccupied with their own objectives and paid no attention to me. Oblivious to my plight, they continued their relentless march forward, their determination unwavering. A sense of bewilderment washed over me like a torrential wave crashing against the shores of my mind. The events that were unfolding seemed to defy all logic, leaving me utterly perplexed and unable to grasp their true meaning. There he is, the one adorned in a rushing blue cloak, leading the way, with two of them dressed like ancient Roman warriors following the walk that's as good as a run.

Though the details are unclear, a peculiar sight caught my attention. A man, his pose etched with hopelessness, was being forcefully escorted by two imposing figures who were following the heel and toe race. Their presence seems to consume the very essence of our surroundings, leaving me breathless. With a delicate hand, I attempt to brush away the specks of dirt that have settled on my dress, hoping to restore some semblance of composure. As the distance between us grew, the leading man, whose cloak staggered me out of the line, turned to take a glimpse at me. A blue, luminous eye glowing brightly makes me feel jumpy, and I quickly get on my feet. It sends a shiver down my spine. It awakens a sense of unease within me, causing my heart to quicken its pace and my senses to heighten. I can feel that he is different and that he possesses a power that I cannot explain. He seemed amazed at some point, but with a quiet smile gracing his lips, he continued in his swift stride, gradually fading away from my sight.

The desire to trail behind them and inquire about my whereabouts tugged at my curiosity, yet an inexplicable fear held me back. As the seconds ticked away, a sudden jolt of recollection coursed through my mind. As if a long-forgotten memory had resurfaced from the depths of my subconscious.

Yes. The memory that lingers in my mind, like a whisper in the wind, is that of my father. It was a moment frozen in time, etched into the depths of my soul. I recall the day when we embarked on a journey, the destination shrouded in mystery. The sun's warm rays cascaded through the car's windows, casting a golden glow on our faces. As we ventured forth, the hum of the engine provided a soothing backdrop to a conversation I couldn't recall, but it was happy. The road stretched out before us, an endless ribbon of asphalt disappearing into the horizon.

That's it. That's all I can recall, and it feels as though it is my last memory. How did I end up here? Where is this? The boundaries between what is real and what is imagined seem to blur, leaving me in a state of perpetual bewilderment since I cannot connect my fragmented memory. I scanned my surroundings, desperately trying to discern my location. The air was heavy with uncertainty, as if the very atmosphere held the answers I sought. My eyes darted from one object to another, searching for any clue that could unravel the enigma before me. What is going on with these people who are lost in every way? Where are they heading? Why was I part of them? questions I cannot give answers to.

I gasped, turning in every direction and checking my surroundings. On the left side of the long line of people, a vast expanse of green stretched out as far as the eye could see. A grass field, its blades swaying gently in the breeze. Beyond the field, a majestic row of towering trees stood proudly, forming a formidable line that seemed to guard the secrets hidden within their depths. Their branches reach towards the heavens. As I gaze up at the sky, where a heavy cloud is looming above, casting a shadow over the land. Yet, as my eyes wander towards the distant horizon, from the grass field to the trees, the weight of the cloud seems to diminish, gradually growing lighter as it stretches further into the distance. On the left side of the line, the cloud bears a burden; its presence fails heavily without any sign of thunder or rain. It simply hung there, a dense mass with occasional flickers of light that seemed to hover closer to the ground.

"Dad!?" I called out to him. "Daddy!?" I ran back and forth, down and up the long line that seemed to have no start or end, and I screamed and ran for a while to no avail. I feel like I lost my mind in this unexplainable situation. I called for him, cried, and as a last resort, I tried to wake those in line in a transient state, but nothing. I take a moment to myself, sitting on a stone, looking at people taking one slow step after another. Then a long pause while standing. It's clear I can do nothing here. I have to move. But, where should I go? I stand as I try to let my instinct take me on a mysterious journey.

With a determined stride, I made the decision to venture into the vast expanse of the long grass field. It exuded an aura of safety, adorned with lush greenery that stretched as far as the eye could see. Yet a sense of unease lingered in the air, casting doubt on the tranquility that shrouded the area. The silence that enveloped the scene seemed almost questionable, as if hiding secrets within its stillness. I might find someone who can help me. Perhaps someone else managed to wake up from that transient state, just as I did. I cannot be the only one. I wonder. Maybe Dad is lost somewhere out here. Besides, I doubt if anyone would pick the path where the cloud bears a heavy sense, not in their right mind. I look down at my chic brown cowboy boots and my summer floral dress. I looked up and shook my head to brave myself, and I marched down the dusty road for a while and ventured into the tall grass field.

Earlier, I had assumed that I could stroll through the tall grass field and see where I would be travelling by scanning the area in the distance. But the grasses are so tall that they completely block my view, so I have to weave my arms fiercely through them to make a path. As I marched forward, the soft whispers of the grass enveloped me with my frantic movement, creating a veil that concealed the path ahead. With each careful stride, my vision became further obscured, leaving me to rely on my other senses to navigate the unknown. Yet, as I pressed on, a burning sensation would occasionally interrupt my thoughts as shorter blades of damp grass caressed my knees through the slit of my dress, from the injury I sustained from falling earlier.

I thought I saw trees beyond the grass field, but with each step growing heavier than the last, doubt began to creep into my mind. The arduous journey had taken its toll, draining my energy. It is getting dark, and the encroaching darkness seems to amplify the absence of any sound—not even the faintest rustle of leaves, unless I am moving, or the distant call of a nocturnal creature. I am truly alone in the midst of this grassy field that feels like a different realm.

The sun dipped below, casting long shadows across the land, and in the grass field, the darkness grew stronger in contrast to the sky. I am terrified, but at this point, the fatigue is greater than the fear. Besides, I wouldn't know my way back to the queue; it seemed as though I had covered quite the distance.

With a sigh of weariness, I gently remove my jeans jacket; its faded denim fabric makes me homesick. I carefully placed it on the soft earth beneath me, creating a cushion for my weary head, and on the sagging bed of grass, putting my worn-out body at rest. I need to get some sleep. I lay down, looking up at the sky filled with stars like I had never seen before. The quietness may be scary, but the weight of the world began to slip away, replaced by a sense of surrender. With each passing moment, my eyelids grew heavy, succumbing to the irresistible pull of slumber. The magical vista above seemed to cast a spell on me, lulling me into a state of blissful surrender. As my eyes fluttered closed, I could feel myself losing control and drifting further into the realm of dreams.

I find myself abruptly jolted from the depths of slumber to the distant sound of the rhythmic clung of metal. As though I were racing for miles, I am breathing heavily as I sit up and, at the same time, trying to recollect my breath. The rays of dawn had already gently filtered through the curtains of tall grass, and I don't know how long I slept through the morning. I feel lightheaded, and my surroundings seem to blur and swirl, the world spinning around me in a dizzying dance. With each inhale and exhale, my chest rose and fell in a rapid, almost frantic way, as if my body were desperately trying to catch up with the racing thoughts that flooded my mind. My left arm feels numb, and it seems I might have slept through the night on one side. I shake my head as I try to clear my fringe off my sweaty forehead. It seems everything I hoped would be a dream is simply a reality I still wake up to.

I brush my dark chocolate brown hair with my fingers, clearing the fringe back, though it falls right back once my fingers let my hair go. I try to calm myself as I breathe in and out repeatedly. Once again, I hear a distant sound—metal clinging—and my eyes suddenly open wide. It then clung once more, making a loud sound that made me excited. I had to follow that sound. I might find someone, finally. I got up from the ground, gripping my jacket in my left hand, and started racing through the grass field, clearing my way with my arms, following the sound.

I relentlessly pursued the elusive sound, which echoed now and then as though someone or something was working on something. Each time it ceased, I would pause, gasping for air, hoping to catch a moment's respite. But as I pressed on, my steps devouring the ground beneath me, a disconcerting realisation began to take hold: the sound was growing louder, signalling that I was closer. Drawn by the mysterious allure of a distant sound, I found myself inching closer, my curiosity piqued. I am closer to it, whatever it is, and I want to know what is making the sound, hoping I will find someone to talk with.

Suddenly, I am cleared out of the grass field and in the open air. I feel a gush of wind brushing me, and I gasp as I take a deep breath, indulging in the cool breath of change in the air as though I have just steeped into a different part of the world. Somehow, my last moments with my father became clear to me. I recall everything—every moment—the song playing in the car, our conversation, and the speeding truck that slammed into our car by his side.

"Dad!" I screamed for him. I am simply mirroring my last word from the sudden gushing memory. It was a shrieking scream. I remember the moment his smile slowly faded away, his gaze fixed on my eyes. "Oh no!" I exclaimed, my heart sinking as I realised the gravity of the situation. I am crying, suddenly mourning my father. I started to feel sudden pain, with my entire body experiencing it, as if reliving the moment. I can feel every bone on my body breaking like something fragile, and though it feels like I'm glitching, I see bruises and deep cuts on my body. It's like no words can explain the severity of the pain.

"Help!" I cried out for assistance, my voice echoing through the air. Tears stream down my face as an intense wave of pain engulfs my entire body. The desperation in my plea was palpable, and I let out another piercing scream. I find myself instinctively burying my head between my arms as I descend towards the ground. I feel a tightness in my chest, as if the air is being sucked out. Panic starts to creep in, and I jump to the ground, fidgeting as I fight to breathe. I took deep breaths, fighting against the rising tide of fear, determined to find my calm, my lips gasping selfishly for the air. As I strained my eyes, I noticed a figure slowly approaching me. The world around me appears hazy, making it difficult to discern the man's features. I found myself in a perplexing situation where my energy dwindled, and I surrendered to its relentless depletion.

I believe I have finally come to understand... I am aware of what transpired to my father, but the perplexing question remains: how am I still here? Am I dead?