At last , Mami

Chapter 8

At least I had received some kindness before dying , a dying memory.

In the three months that followed , Dr Douglas and the nurses had been fully convinced that I had given up on my suicide plight . I had been behaving . I was a good patient .I had to so that they at least allow me to leave the ward .I was getting very tired of waking up to a lousy ward with a small tv hung down from the ceiling . An empty ward where I reside with the bed , the machine aside my bed and the mini tv above .The room was indeed empty .The doctors had decided to clear every thing that I could be used as a weapon to commit suicide . Even the trash can had been removed and now it stood outside the ward at the door. I had refused for a camera to be installed in the ward .They would have invaded my private space .I had begun to love my own company most . I had engaged in many self confrontations and reflections. My adolescent stage had came and passed . Had I been destined for the greatness that mother kept implying , I was certain to have moved mountains . I never did something as pivotal as making friends throughout my years .I'd been so focused on my fear, that I only considered escaping from Mr Smith when the guard had suggested it to me . I took abuse as it came . I never defended myself against it and also never got to know what would have happened if I had mastered the courage to fight back . Kimberley and Tasha were not so old to me but I had continuously allowed them to play me like a ball.They even left quite a number of tags on my body ,the slave marks. I never reported about it .Nobody can be as foolish and blind as I was. I let myself sign away my millions worth of property for a day's peace of mind . I did not give a second thought to it . I did not even try to refute or fight for my right .I just gave it away like some worthless piece of trash. I'm an embarrassment to my mother , my father and my brothers . I can't live with so much guilt . It's already dissolving my spirit .

I had to make sure that I died before my brothers got to know of what I had done. I'll try to make mother and father understand that my hands were some how tied once I reach them in heaven .For that to succeed, I had to make a last death plan , one that would ensure that I would die . I could not wait .

"Morning ,Missy ", Dr Douglas said so lovingly as he came closer to the window where I sat on my wheelchair , absorbed in my thoughts with a plastered left arm and right leg. He was quite a charmer some times. I could not help to smile before I could turn to him and answer .

Morning, Mister ", I let out my golden smile at him and tried turning my chair but he stops me while I'm at it . He pushes me on the chair until we reach the bed . He took out a stool that had gone slightly under the bed when the nurses were moving me from the bed onto the wheelchair .

Dr Douglas sat on the stool and made the wheelchair face him. There was not much of a distance between us then. Our faces were an arm's length apart while our legs were touching. My nose got filled with his divine mix of sandal wood and mint scent. He was beautiful . He chose not to tie his long hair today. Unexpectedly, he actually took my word and dyed the lower half of his hair blue . Blue sat on him quite perfectly in my eyes. He was on a leave for the past three days . He made it a task to visit me after checking in . Today he is earlier than usual. He is giving off a jolly mood , one can easily notice that he is in quite a happy mood today . He has changed the colour of the studs on his ears . They were just black , now they are black with gold poker dots. I'm sure it was his mother's idea . Dr Douglas has told me about how his mother looks after his wardrobe . She was responsible for almost everything he put on . The gold-black studs are obviously her idea. He has a blue shirt under the coat. There must be something big .

"Hmm , your mother picked out the studs ,right? I asked and winked at him .

"Uhm, yes ", he had a shyness at the edge of his voice . " you know my mom ", he continued

" Well I have to hand it to her , she is able. You are her only baby after all. She always has time for you " , I said calmly

" That's my mom for you." he said and kept quiet. I could tell he was nervous but I was not going to ask him about it. I also kept quiet . There was a dead silence between us for a minute . I had no idea what to say next . I had to ask for permission to leave the ward at some point . He seemed happy, maybe he'll easily permit me to.

" Have you eaten and taken you meds ?" Dr Douglas asked.

"It's still seven , I can't eat so early. Besides , I'm not hungry ", I answered while sarcastically blushing at him.He smiled .He started searching in his pockets .He took out a small box from his left pocket .

"And now? What's that ?" I asked the doctor .

"I got a gift for you ", he put on a gleaming smile as he opened the small box . He took out a gold coated black ankle from the box .

"Wooow , that's beautiful ", I said as I gazed at the ankle on his hand. "Your mother's choice ,right ", I was teasing him.

"Stop it , I chose this one ! My mother would have gone nuts if she knew I was getting a gift for a girl ...Besides , I know I have the best taste " he said while crouching down to put the anklet on my left leg .

"Hmm , Thank you Mister ", I said sweetishly ."I love it ", a tear trickle down my cheek and I wipe it off very quickly before Dr Douglas could see it . I was very touched .That anklet held a big part of my heart . It was my first gift from anyone since mother had passed . I wanted to cry more on remembering mother .Remembering how I had given away the right she had given me . I tried to loosen up , but I felt more tears welling up in my ears , ready to be let out .In no time, they were pouring out of my sockets . I could not stop them , I was emotional.

" I love it ",I muttered while crying .

"Kkkk , I never knew you were a cry-baby , "Dr Douglas laughed while he took out his handkerchief from his coat to wipe my tears away. "Stop crying , cry baby ", he was mocking me and poking at my pink cheeks .

"Stop that , lousy doctor," I shouted and made a face . "You should be fired for mocking at the patients ,hmm " I suggested and tilted my head away from Dr Douglas' gaze .He tilts my head back to face him .

"You know , you can wear that ankle with any color hospital robe ", he teased and laughed very hard. I slap his shoulder and laugh with him . It was a good laugh . I felt some slight pain in my abdomen but ignored it . I did not want such a good laugh to be disturbed .We eventually stopped laughing . Dr Douglas went through the small box one more time , he took out a black pair of studs that matched my new anklet . He put the studs on my right hand .He picks up each stud and puts it on my ear until both of them were on my earlobes . I felt different. I felt special. My ears had a new weight on them that u was liking. I realised, black was my new favourite colour . I opened my mouth wide , trying to let the new feeling sink in . I took long breaths ,in and out continuously. I had long forgotten about the "special" feeling . I cried again.

"This cry-baby ", Dr Douglas teased as he crouched down on one knee to give me a bear hug . I did not refuse him. I sobbed for minutes and came out of the hug. I had wet Dr Douglas' coat with my tears , I was embarrassed. "There , there , Missy , There ,there ", he said while wiping off the tears on my cheeks and chin with his handkerchief .

" Thank you . Thank you very much ." More tears were falling from my eyes , Dr Douglas kept wiping them off . Nobody had ever been so kind to me . I had stopped believing in people's kindnesses a long time ago . Ever since mother had stepped out of my life and Gazelle came in with her little demons . My heart had woken up , I felt it beating faster . I felt the block of ice breaking , piece by piece . At least I had received some kindness before dying , a dying memory. I wanted Dr Douglas to hug me more . I felt very comfy in his embrace .I let the need subside .

Dr Douglas checked his watch . It was probably time for him to get to work .

"Have a lovely day , Bev ", he stood up on his feet and fixed his white coat .

" Same to you , doctor ." I replied to him.

"Irvine , remember ?" he was reminding me of his name .

"Yes , have a good day , Irvine ."I said sarcastically. "Wait, may I pleaseee leave the ward today , I want to see the sun clearly from the balcony on the eastern wing .Please " , I pleaded .

" oooh , sure you can .Why not ? " he replied as he placed a kiss on my forehead. He left . I was feeling guilty. Irvine had genuinely allowed me to go out of the ward, while I , on the other hand i had my own plight in mind. I am going to betray him . He cares so much and I'm turning my back on his goodness .

'I am going to leave you today , dear friend. You just gave me a go ahead unknowingly .I'm sorry , I was never worth of this friendship and so much kindness , friend. I'm a disappointment to my family , and I'm a disappointment to you. I... ' , before I could finish whispering to myself , Dr Gabes personally brings in my food , in take always boxes .

"You know, we should have prohibited patients from eating food from outside the hospital . I don't know what you would have ate then ", Dr Gabes was teasing me .

"The bride-to-be is quite a teaser. I fear for your future in-laws. Mxm", I tease her

"Hmm , Is that so ? I won't have to take much from them anyway .I'm a doctor who spends her whole day at work , if I do not have night shifts as well.How are you , Bev ?" She keeps her smile on as she talks. She is always Charming .

"I'm okay . How are you , Mrs Bianca Gabriel-Williams to be ?" I asked with a cheeky smile on.

"Stop it ,heyy", she was blushing .I never knew how she got recruited into such a hospital with such a shy personality. Patients can be hard-nuts sometimes.

"You are blushing , look at yourself ", I laughed .She puts the food on the bed while bringing and attaching a tray to the wheelchair .She then puts the food on the tray attached to my wheelchair ."I mean , the new year has not even come yet . Your wedding is scheduled for the new year, right ? Your soon-to-be "other half" , is not even here .Why are you blushinggg, such a shy lady ", I giggled .

"Stop teasing me, will you . I'm just a little shy only ,"she says blushingly .

" Just a little ? Oh dear ....spare me . You are totally blushing , you are shy , full time , hey ."I continue to tease her .

"Shut up and eat your food , it will get cold ," she shouts while trying make a serious face but fails and smiles more ." Stop looking at me , eat your food ,dear patient ", her whole face had turned red .She turned her face away from me . I start eating my buttered toast bread , bacon , eggs , tomato and multiple onion rings ;just the way I liked it .

"Hey Shy-lady , would you like some ?" I asked Dr Gabes .

"Nope , I already had breakfast .I do not like eating this late . I had my breakfast at home before I came here ", she answered .

"Hmm, okay ,then more for Me ."I continued eating .

"Since you are so hungry , I will just leave you to eat .Enjoy ", she mutters as she leaves me alone once again. I was having my last meal . The whole meal tasted different. Different in a way that was more professional and skillful . I loved it . Maybe the restaurant hired a different chef . I should not look much into it . The morning had been beautiful .I had my first anklet , a pair of black stud-earrings and a lovely breakfast . After a two hours bedrest , it was time . I took up the opportunity to visit the balcony on the eastern wing of the hospital. The sun rose shined beautifully there . I wanted a kiss from the blazing sun before taking off .

Dr Douglas greeted me as he passed through the balcony to a ward in the eastern wing . I felt guilty on seeing him . I had not bid him farewell .If I had , he was going to guess that I was plotting another suicide . He would have taken me back to my ward .

'Goodbye , my best friend ' , I whispered as I waved my right had at him.

It was then time .The time to take off . I Went to the staircase on the southern wing , where I resided ,on the third floor. I rolled myself down the flight of thirty stairs. My body rolled down as the wheelchair followed . The pain was death itself . I shrieked in pain . When I reach the last step, "kah" , I heard a breaking sound on my right leg . I blacked out completely .It felt like it was death.