If Only

Chapter - 12

Chapter 12

Zanzibar, Tanzania

Julian

The breeze played with the white gauze-like curtain and I couldn't sleep. Cora was sound asleep next to me with her hand resting under her chin. I moved her hair away from the face and took in her soft peaceful features.

I was in love — no doubt about it.

Could you fall in love in less than a week? It sounded like the title of the next Hollywood blockbuster romance, but this was not a movie and I was royally screwed. Never had I felt this vulnerable and exposed. She moved next to me and came closer as though she was seeking me in her sleep. Our bodies were already in sync and craving each other's proximity. I pulled her to me and she let out a contented sigh. We'd opted for an early evening flight, leaving us with the entire weekend stretched in front of us like the white, sandy beach beneath our private villa. The villa was part of a resort and staffed, but we had the privacy of our own company with a few people tending to our needs. Breakfast, lunch and dinner would be prepared for us and housekeeping would sweep in when we were occupied elsewhere.

After Cora had submitted her articles to the paper and I'd returned from my few hours in the darkroom, we'd packed our bags and gone to the small airstrip close to the seaside. The plane ride had been smooth and only a little over half an hour. A glass of champagne had been waiting for us and she'd joked that I really knew how to woo a woman. Little did she know…

"Can't you sleep, Julian?” Her voice was barely a whisper in the night.

"No, princess, but it's peaceful being next to you, listening to the waves crashing onto the shore."

"Anything I can do?" Her hand traveled the length of my arm.

"Don't worry about me. I sometimes can't seem to rest. My thoughts are everywhere."

"I know a trick," she teased, now more awake.

"Or two," I laughed. "You can show me in the morning," I reassured her. It wasn't that I didn't want her, but I also wanted her to get a good night's sleep.

"Well, what if I want to take care of you now, Julian?” She kissed my shoulder.

"Anyone ever told you how bossy you are?"

She climbed over me and leaned down, her hair forming a curtain around my face. "All the freaking time," she answered and kissed me. "But I kind of think you like it, hot stuff." She positioned me at her entrance and slowly slid down over me. Every time she was near I was hard.

"Condom, princess."

"I got us covered; I'm on the pill. And clean, of course." She found my hooded eyes as she rode me while I was bare inside a woman for the first time in years.

"Cora, baby, you undo me. I haven’t gone bareback with anyone in years. I always suit up." I pinched an erect n****e between my fingers and she rewarded me a guttural moan. In a languid motion, I took her with me to a seated position. We now sat nose to nose while I was deep inside of her. She wrapped her legs around me, trying to pull me as close as she could. Our lovemaking was unhurried. Leisurely I brushed her c******s in small even strokes. She circled her hips and I withdrew and pushed inside.

"Julian, oh god, Julian; I love how you make me feel." She wrapped her hands around my head and pulled me to her. "I'm full and the feeling is overwhelming, but good. So good."

"Am I selfish when I say I want to be the only one to make you feel like this?"

"No way am I sharing you with anyone. I promise to keep you fully occupied." She caressed my back and I picked up the pace.

"Soon, princess; I'm almost there. You feel amazing around me."

"Rub me a little harder, Julian, and kiss my n*****s. I love your mouth on me."

"I f*****g love that you tell me what you want and how." My fingers pressed a little harder on her tiny bundle of nerves and stroked back and forth in a steady motion. She writhed in my lap, sending me over the edge. I just prayed she was with me because I couldn't think straight.

"Oh god, oh god, oh god," she whimpered, and I held her close as she too fell.

***

"So tell me Julian, why don't you have a wife and kids back in England?" We'd come to know each other over the past week, but we'd only skated personal questions lightly. Until now the s****l attraction had domineered our relationship, but we were moving into deeper conversations and new territory.

"Time passed and my job isn't exactly attractive to women. I've been traveling all over the world just as you have." I lifted her chin with a finger. "Honestly, I haven't had a serious relationship that I wanted to give a chance in a long time." She listened carefully. "I've had women, but I don't fall in love." It was too premature to reveal my feelings for her.

"You have so much to offer, Julian, and you can work from here." She kissed my right pec. "You've said it yourself: you can make a good living here."

"Correct, princess, but the scenery and jobs do get slightly dull if that's all I do. With a wife and family, I could settle and be content."

"Do you want to live in Africa forever? I'm fond of Kenya especially, but I haven't considered living here permanently." She paused and waited for my reply.

"Yes. I could if I got to take a few adventures a year. I've grown accustomed to the downsides and bureaucracy of it here. I love the upsides more."

"What does your family think about you living here?" She tickled me lightly.

"Well, they have gotten used to me never being in one place at a time. Having me here in one spot would be a tremendous improvement and they could visit. My mum and dad love it here." I loved how we could speak openly and I desperately wanted to tell her that I saw her in my future.

"Cora, can I ask you something?" I drew a pattern on her back as she lay sprawled on top of me.

"Mmm," she mumbled almost inaudibly.

"You told me that you grew up in foster care." I held her to me. "Are you in contact with them?"

"No, and I don't have any family if that's what you're thinking. Please don't feel sorry for me. It's always been like this, Julian." She put me at ease when I wanted to be the one to console and comfort her.

"You don't need to explain anything, but if you want to, I'm here." The wind had cooled our heated skin after our lovemaking and I felt the chill from the sea breeze. I pulled the duvet over us.

"I never fit in. There was always something wrong. I was always a nuisance, or that's how I felt. The foster families seemed like breeding programs for cattle: feed them and grow them before shipping them to their destiny. I dreamed of a real family with a mother, father, a sibling or two with cozy dinners and trips to the movies. I escaped to my books and knew that I had to be better than everyone to make it in this world." My heart bled for the little girl she once was and the world she'd had to conquer by herself. A tear wet my skin, and I let her cry out her desperation.

"Shh, I've got you," I whispered.

She wept in my arms until she fell asleep and finally dragged me along.

***

"You've got to be kidding me, Julian." We'd slept in after our tryst and late-night confessions, but were now on our way to my surprise for her.

"It'll be fun, Cora, and we’re going up together.”

"But you can't distract me in that thing," she contemplated, and I bellied out a laugh.

"We're going to be fine. I've done this before."

"Quite the adrenaline-chaser, Julian, aren't you?" She poked me in the chest with a pink-tipped fingernail.

We'd walked a few hundred meters down the beach, where a parasailing flight instructor was waiting.

"We will be secured into a safety harness and the instructor will give us safety training before we sail out. The view from above is just as gripping as the one we saw from the balloon the other day. We will see the coral reef, the beaches and the tropical forest."

"I'm going to have to leave a snake in your bed now, you know." She glared at me. "I only lost the bet once, not twice." Her voice was clipped but I sensed a shift.

"As I said last time, I can't and won't force you, but this is another once in a lifetime experience, Cora, and we're together."

"I can't believe I'm giving in to you again,” she huffed and walked towards the instructor who'd kept his distance while we talked.

A smile spread across my face. I'd found myself a stubborn, wonderful woman who never backed out of a challenge.

***

Cora's phone buzzed on the table next to my laptop, where I was going through today's magnificent photos. I'd opted to bring my GoPro camera with us on the parasailing trip 300 meters above Zanzibar. Fortunately, she hadn't fainted and she'd enjoyed the tour as much as I had. She was taking a bath and I hadn't been invited. I gazed at her phone and the message wasn't hidden.

"Call me asap; you've made evening news headlines."

It was from Cora's editor in chief. She needed to see this.

"Baby, can I come in?" I knocked on the door.

"Yes, sure; you're always welcome. I simply needed to pamper myself a bit without you distracting me." She smiled from the bathtub.

"You've got a text from your editor. I didn't peek, but it was on your front screen." Our relationship was new and going through each other's messages demanded another level of trust.

"What does it say? My fingers are wet."

"That you've made the evening news and you should call."

"Wow, and we've only published the first article today." She jumped out of the tub with water sloshing over the edge. I tossed her a towel and she wrapped it around herself without bothering to dry herself first.

I handed her the phone and followed her into the bedroom. I was just as curious as she, but if she needed this moment alone I would of course let her have it.

"Do you need me to go somewhere else?"

“What? No, you're also a part of this." She climbed onto the bed and dialed her editor. "You're my photographer documenting the findings."

Hoping I was much more to her, I sat down and listened in on the conversation. She was going live via the internet for the nine o'clock news. The organization put on the spot was international. If she'd tapped into a fraud, this could have an enormous impact on the worldwide projects. This could be big.

"Can you help me with the tech-support and test it before they dial me?"

"Of course, princess. Always."

"Thank you, Julian. This is so exciting."

"Come here." I hugged her. "I'm so proud of you, my bad-ass woman."

"Your woman?" She lifted an eyebrow.

"Mine and only mine."