My Shifted Life

Chapter 8 - Lettie

I am glad to be moving away from this place and the people that live here. Two months was a short time in one place even for us, but for whatever reason Mum wanted to move on, and I was desperate to get away from Bren and Max. Far, far away, and to leave them both alone for each other. I had woken up feeling terrible this morning and I had been tired and grouchy until we were on our way. I had been dozing in the back seats for hours the movement of the campervan rocking me gently to sleep but I had woken up 10 minutes ago with a horrendous headache and a sick feeling in my stomach.

Hattie had been quiet today too, not talking to me, not telling me what to do worse than my mother. I wasn’t sure if she was just feeling grouchy too or if I was finally growing out of having an imaginary friend. The campervan stops in a lay-by at the side of a quiet road that winds through dense woods. Usually we try to find a camp site with running water and electricity to stay at, but sometimes we have to rough it with nothing. This place wasn’t new, well maybe this exact location was, but we had stayed in places like this dozens of times before. I look out of the window and the sun is setting. We had been driving on and off all day. Mum must have really wanted to get far away from that shithole. I open the door and walk around casually, stretching my legs. Mum gets out of the front drivers side and joins me on our short walk.

“This place should be quiet enough, just incase.” Mum mumbles to herself.

“Just incase what?” I ask confused.

“Nothing. How are you feeling?” She asks.

“Like crap.” I reply quickly without thinking.

“Lettie, language.” My mum scolds.

“Sorry. I mean not very well. I have a headache and I feel sick.” She walks closer to me and places her hand on my forehead.

“You do feel a little warm. You might be coming down with something.” She adds reassuringly.

“I don’t get sick. I don’t like being ill.” I pout, and it’s true, I never get sick. I can’t remember ever feeling poorly, no temperatures, no sickness, not even a sniffle. I put it down to the way we live, Mum didn’t often get sick either.

“Shall we walk into the woods, have a little explore whilst it’s not too cold?” Mum asks but she seems very nervous about something, something I can tell she isn’t going to share with me right now so I just reply with a slow nod, the movement creating a wave of nausea. We walk for a few minutes and the sky is almost completely dark now. A tiny sliver of light from the sun is still visible but it’s not much light to us surrounded by the trees. I look up to the sky looking for something. I don’t know what, and I notice the moon high in the sky, full and round, sending down what little light it can.

“The moon is beautiful tonight, don’t you think?” Mum says but her voice sounds weird and distant to me.

“I guess.” I reply worriedly, not sure about this conversation. I try to think about something else to talk about, something my mum will want to talk about but before I can begin to speak I am overcome by the most excruciating pain imaginable. Every bone in my body feels like it is shattering into a million tiny painful pieces. I can’t stand any longer as my legs give way and I fall to the floor heavily. The impact with the ground only makes the pain worse. I screw my eyes tightly together trying to will the agony to end. My head feels like it is about to explode and I can hear my mum panicking and crying in the background but I can’t make out anything she is saying as the blood rushes around my eardrums. It feels like the pain is never going to end and I can’t cope with it a second longer, but then it starts to subside. In seconds I feel so much better. The darkness of the woods has lifted and I can see everything in detail. Everything looks amazing. I stand up to get a better look around.

“Shit.” I can hear my mum curse next to me. She looks scared. I guess I scared her by collapsing on the floor, but I feel so much better now, better than ever. I want to reassure her that I am fine but I can’t talk. Everything feels strange as well, not just better, I don’t feel like myself, even the way I am standing feels strange. I look down at my feet to check the issue and I am met by two brown furry feet. Not furry hobbit feet but full on animal feet. I look behind them to two more.

Oh s**t. I mirror my mum’s sentiments. This can not be happening. I suddenly feel my grip on reality loosening and the pains I had felt before come rushing back, only not quite as painful this time. In a minute I am laid back on the floor but completely naked and not covered in fur. I grab at the clothes beside me and try to put them on. s**t, s**t, s**t. They are completely shredded and are not going to give me any dignity here. I stand up and run back to the camper van and quickly get dressed in my pjs, as my mum follows behind.

“Mum what the hell was that?” I ask through gritted teeth.

“Scarlet darling.” She begins. “I told you, your father was a little different.”

“No shit.” I retort exasperated.

“Language.” She scolds again.

“Sorry. But you could have told me before, just how different.”

“You said you didn’t have a voice in your head anymore, so I thought, and I hoped, that you wouldn’t be like him. Then it wouldn’t matter what he was.”

“Like him? My father is a werewolf?” I question.

“Yes.” My mum confesses quietly.

“Does he know about me?” I ask one of the questions I have asked many times before but have never gotten a straight answer to.

“No. I left him before I even knew I was pregnant. His world is not a world that I could live in. It is not a place that welcomes people that are not like them. I left, and then I found out I was pregnant. I knew if he found out about you, if you ended up being like him, he would take you away from me, and I would never see you again.”

“So that’s why we move so much?” I ask, as pieces of my life finally slot together.

“Yes. I don’t want him to find us and take you away from me, into his world where I can not follow you.” Tears well in my mum’s eyes as my heart aches for her. I had never known how tragic my conception had been for her.

“Did he ever come close to finding us?” I ask.

“Not that I know of, not before last night, but now that you are 16, and I know for sure, that you are like him. I guess I can tell you where to find him, if you ever want to know.”

“Not now.” I say gently. Although I am intrigued beyond belief, the last thing I want to do is hurt my mum any more by making her think that I am going to run off to be with my dad at the first opportunity.

“He is not all bad and their world was very seductive to me when I wasn’t much older than you, and neither was he.” My mum pauses for a breath, sighing deeply. Her hands are shaking and I want to tell her she doesn’t have to tell me anything, but I can’t, I want to know so badly. “I grew up in care, you know that, I have no family other than you. But to be around people who looked after their families so well, who all worked together for their pack. Who were so close to each other they could talk to each other through their minds, it was incredible. I haven’t seen anyone from their world since the day I ran away, well not until I saw your uncle in the bar last night, that’s why we moved away today.”

“My uncle? Is he..?” I never imagined I would have other family members. I knew I had a father somewhere, but that was the only other person I had ever thought about.

“Yes, an uncle, like you, a werewolf.” Another deep sigh. “He was my friend, that’s how I met your father.” My mum’s eyes glisten with more unshed tears.

“Will he tell my dad he has seen you? Will he try to find us?” I ask suddenly fearful.

“I don’t know sweetheart. I haven’t seen or spoken to any of them in over 16 years, until last night. I don’t know what they will do.” The tears are now starting to fall down my mum’s face. I hate to see her like this. I pull her into a huge cuddle.

“I love you Mum, I’m never going to leave you.” I promise, knowing this time I am going to keep my promise.