where the light failed

Despair

“Trust me darling, that day is never gonna come because I'd rather die than need or beg for your help.”

She said smirking and I just looked at her shake my head and went inside my room.

Things went down the drain after the incidents with Axel, he kept messaging me telling me he wanted me for himself that's why he did what he did and that he could have r***d me while I was unconscious but he didn't because of how much he loved me, I didn't reply any of his messages though, I even blocked his contact to stop him from contacting me. I'm grateful to God that he didn't have his way with me while I was unconscious but that doesn't justify what he did to me. My parents won't stop insulting me every opportunity they get, they keep comparing me to Layla they said I should learn from her. Funny how months back when I started the choir trial my parents have been telling Layla to be like me and follow in my footstep I don't know why neither Layla nor my parents like me, I mean Layla should have been my big sister but she's the one that gets me into trouble the most and my parents are not like that to Layla, they treat her with love and do not treat her badly there was a time I kept wondering if I was adopted but we have the same blood group so I felt they just didn't like me or my pregnancy was a mistake and they only wanted one child which was Layla. I have applied to NYU and I can't wait for school to start at least I won't be living in this house….even though I will be living with Layla because she's already a student in her second year….. she was going from home during her first year but it wasn't convenient because our house is like 2 hours distance to school so she has been able to convince our parents to get an apartment near school, so I'll be staying with her when I resume. I'll just have to endure till I can get a job and start paying my own bills and probably get my own apartment. Because once I move to college I don't think I ever want to come back here. This house and the people in it adds to my depression. I have been depressed since the incident with Alex and I've gone to see a therapist which I'm surprised my parents paid for, I was given a medication that makes me feel weak and sleepy anytime I use it so I only use it when I want to sleep or start feeling suicidal again. The only thing I do now is sleep, wake up, do chores, be in my room,avoid my parents and sometimes eat because they keep reminding me of that night that I wanted to forget. One morning I was sitting in the kitchen drinking tea when Layla asked me if I'm excited for college I didn't answer her though because I know she is just looking for an excuse to get me in trouble again she was about saying something else when mom entered the kitchen and asked me if I've been taking my medication and I was surprised because she never cared to ask me before, I didn't show it though I answered yes and she started shouting

“if you have been using your drugs why is it still full?”

I tried explaining to her that the therapist did not ask me to be using it everyday but she won't listen.

“WHAT EXACTLY IS YOUR PROBLEM? YOU WENT AHEAD TO SLEEP WITH YOUR BOYFRIEND A DAY BEFORE YOUR ASSESSMENT AND THEN STARTED PRETENDING TO BE SICK YET YOU WON'T TAKE YOUR MEDICATION. DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I PAID FOR THIS MEDICATION AND YOUR THERAPY SESSIONS? BECAUSE OF YOU WE HAVE BECOME A LAUGHING STOCK IN CHURCH, PEOPLE NOW POINT FINGERS AT US SAYING DIFFERENT THINGS. BECAUSE OF YOU WE ARE CHANGING CHURCH AND YOU THINK YOU'VE NOT DONE ENOUGH? I'M NOT GOING TO PAY A DIME FOR YOUR THERAPY SESSIONS AGAIN NEITHER AM I PAYING FOR THIS STUPID MEDICATION”.

Mom, I try to get her attention

“SHUT UP YOU DIRTY LITTLE w***e”

she yelled again and threw my medication at me. I didn't know when I started crying.I couldn't take it anymore and ran out of the house.

I kept running till I couldn't feel my legs again and when I stopped I discovered that I have already run a long distance from the house, so I started walking just to clear my head, I have no idea where I am going to. I was lost in thoughts that I didn't notice my surroundings until I started hearing some voices and discovered that the area I am is kind of secluded so I turned back in hopes of finding my way to a crowded area and probably walk or take a cab home. before I could move I heard a voice.

“Are you lost darling?"

I turned back to see 3 dangerous looking guys smirking at me, and I became scared and frozen because it reminded me of the night with Axel.

“what's a girl like you doing on this side of the town alone?”

“just taking a walk”

“why don't I keep you company?”

the same guy asked again.

“Uhm no I'm good”

“I'm Caleb, this is chase and that is Jacob”

“Uhm cool”

“oh stop playing hard to get and come over here sweetheart”

“ uhm I'm actually gonna leave now” I said, turning around to leave.

“Not so fast, baby girl,”

Jacob said, walking closer. I turned and started running when I felt a hand grab me,

“please let me go”

I say quietly “nope” he says as he pins me against a wall. I hear the sound of a car engine and kick Jacob straight at his balls. I would be damned if I let myself feel helpless again. He screams in pain,bending over and glaring at me in fury. I didn't wait for him to recover. I started running again and felt his companions running after me and caught me again, one of them raised his hands to hit me when he's been shoved back by a guy I cannot see yet. I make eye contact with the mystery guy and my heart stops. He has piercing blue eyes, he's tall, he has dark hairs.after he punched Caleb literally knocking him out. He stands in front of me facing the guys.

“Get out of here”

He says in his extremely sexy voice. God I shouldn't find this guy attractive. The guys obeyed immediately, they grabbed their unconscious friend and left immediately … never looking back once. The blue-eyed stranger finally turns around to face me after the guys left and it's like my body can't move, I'm frozen in shock everything Alex did to me came rushing back, my parents abuse and harsh treatment. I couldn't say anything and Just stood there, tears roll down my cheeks and I turned my face away so that he won't see it.

“Did they touch you? Are you okay?”

“No, they didn't touch me, not yet at least”

I answered. He looked at me again and asked

“How did you get here?”

“I trekked from my house”

“Come let me give you a ride”

At that minute, I took him in. He's cute.

yea I said cute.