Make Me Pregnant

CHAPTER 6

“Thank God! You finally answered!” I could feel the relief in her voice.

Nakagat ko ang labi. I open my mouth but nothing comes out. Ang luha ko ay namuo dahil akala ko sisigawan niya ako.

“Iris, I'm so worried about you!” Her voice was like some kind of magic. It made me calm.

All my thoughts were gone. Ngayon na narinig ko na ang boses ng kaibigan, alam kong hindi siya galit sa akin.

“I'm sorry…” My tears fell on my cheeks as I said those words.

Kinagat ko ang labi para hindi humikbi. Narinig ko naman siyang huminga ng malalim sa kabilang linya.

“Akala mo galit ako?” She asked softly.

Tumango ako kahit hindi niya nakikita. Ang luha ay lalong tumulo.

“Yes.”

“Noong una, oo. Because I know you're better than this, Iris. You deserve better than this!”

“Wala na akong ibang maisip na paraan para makatakas sa galit ni ate, Paige.”

I pressed my lips together as I wiped my eyes on my cheeks. I know, this plan is so stupid to begin with. Pero anong magagawa ko? Mahal ko si ate Ivy.

All my life, she's the only family who stood besides me. Kahit na may favorite sila Mommy at Daddy, ako naman ang favorite niya. Despite the unfair treatment of our parents, hindi nabago ang pakikitungo niya sa akin.

She loved me. Now, everything is mess. And That’s because I put her in that mess. So, I have to pay the price.

“Hindi mo naman kasalanan bakit nawala si Leo. How many times do I have to tell you that?”

“But guilt is eating me…”

She sighed again. “Okay ka lang ba diyan?” Tanong niya na malumanay ang boses.

I nodded again. “I'm okay here, Paige. Don't worry about me. Erik is a good man.”

“Alam ko ‘yon. At least you picked a decent man.”

I couldn't help but chuckle. Yeah, I picked a decent. Kahit na malakas mang-asar.

“I did, right?”

“Mabuti kung gano'n. Did your wedding go well? Hindi naman ba siya nanghihinala bakit gusto mong magka-baby?"

Umiling ako. “I set some boundaries. We don't meddle with each other's business.”

“Okay, that's good. How about his grandfather?”

Napangiti ako ngayon nang maalala ang matanda.

“He's good, Paige. He accepted me. Paniwalang-paniwala siyang mahal namin ni Erik ang isa't-isa.”

I heard her chuckle softly. “Really?”

“Yes. He's talkative which I didn't expect.”

Natawa siya ngayon. She doesn't expect it. Kahit ako rin noong una. I guess, namana ni Erik ‘yon sa Lolo niya.

Nawala na ang pangamba kahit papaano sa puso ko nang makausap ang matalik na kaibigan. She's the only one I can talk about everything right now, so I did tell her everything. Iyon yata ang ginawa ko nang hapon na ‘yon.

I know it hasn't been a week since I left but I really miss her. She's my one and only bestfriend. I can't afford to lose her.

“So, was the s*x great?” She asked out of nowhere.

Mapatikhim ako at napahawak pa sa dibdib. I could feel my cheeks turning red.

“Paige!” I didn't expect her to ask about that!

Natawa siya. “Why? Feeling inosente ka naman.” I could see her rolling her eyes.

“Seriously?” Nanlalaki ang mga mata ko.

“Yes, answer me, Iris. How was the s*x?”

Napalabi ako. I suddenly remembered what we did last night. It was freaking wild and hot at the same time! Hindi ko maisip na gano'n pala kasarap na binabayo ka habang nakasabit sa kaniya.

“Yes. The s*x was great. Really.” Halos matawa ako sa naiisip.

I heard her laugh. I pursed my lips and composed myself.

“How great?”

“Paige!”

“Baka mabuntis ka agad niyan wala pang isang buwan!”

Namula na talaga ang pisngi ko. Napahawak tuloy ako roon at mas kinalma ang sarili.

“Edi, maganda,” nasagot ko saka tumikhim.

“Is he huge?” Patuloy pa niya habang natatawa.

Alam kong inaasar lang niya ako. Hindi ako naive noon pa man, pero virgin pa rin ako kaya bago sa akin ‘tong nangyayari.

But, I still nodded my head. “Yes. I couldn't even wrap my hands around him properly.”

“You did a blowjob?” Halos tili niya. “Oh my god, Iris! Na-a-apply mo na ang mga napanood natin noon!”

Kahit namumula na ang dalawang pisngi, natawa rin ako. Hindi ko rin alam na magagawa ko ang nagawa ko kay Erik kagabi.

“Ano pa nagawa niyo?”

“Stop it, Paige! Too much information!”

Humalakhak lang siya. “Sige na nga. You keep it to yourself. Basta malaki siya, ‘no?”

“Oo nga!”

“So, totoo nga ano? Ang swerte naman ng kaibigan ko!”

Maybe I am.

Umirap ako sa hangin. “Baka siya ang swerte sa akin.”

“Ay, oo naman.” She agreed.

Sumandal ako sa sofa habang patuloy ang usapan naming magkaibigan. I'm relieved now that I'm finally talking to her like this. Like nothing happened and everything is okay.

“Just remember the number one rule, okay? Don't ever ever fall for him.” Mariin na sinabi niya.

I nodded, determined. “Yes. I know the limitations.”

“Still, we don't yet, Iris. Siguro sa ngayon wala, pero mag-asawa na kayo ngayon.”

Of course, I know that. Legal kaming kinasal at alam kong konektado na kami sa isa't-isa. Pero wala ‘yon sa isip ko.

I just want to get over this. Go home. Be with my family. And gave my baby to Ate Ivy. After that, I figured out how to move on.

“Alam ko. Hindi ko naman hahayaan ang sarili na mangyari 'yon.”

“Okay. Just be sure you and your heart are locked. Kasi mahirap ‘yan, Iris. Mahirap ang gagawin mo. But I'm always here for you, okay?”

Napatango ako at malungkot na ngumiti. “Thank you,” that's all I could say.

“I just hope one day, you'll be able to be yourself. At hindi na kailangan na ibigay pa ang magiging anak mo. It'll be hard, Iris.”

Napalunok ako. There's a pang in my chest already. Alam ko rin naman ‘yon. Ngayon pa lang, alam ko nang magiging wala akong kwentang Ina sa magiging anak ko.

“At hindi sagot ang isa pang kasalanan para pagbayaran ang isa pang kasalanan.” Dugtong pa niya nang hindi ako makasagot ako.

I took a deep breath.

“Nandito na ako, eh.” Iyon lang ang lumabas sa bibig ko.

“Yes, I know. You can't run right now. Especially that you are married.”

“Kaya ko naman ‘to…” Tanging nasabi ko lang.

Mabilis lang naman ang panahon. As long as I am aware of this deal. As long as I remind myself that this is for the best. For my sister, hindi ako tatalikod sa sarili kong pangako.

“Alam ko rin ‘yan, Iris. Sana lang kung darating man ang araw na ma-realize mo ang lahat, hindi ka na tatakbo ulit. Because you'll have to face all the sequences of your actions, including Erik's feelings. Would you handle that?”

Tumango pa rin ako. “I can. Kaya ko para kay ate Ivy.”

For myself. For my guilt. For Leo and for my family.

I heard her sighed. I knew she's trying to talk me out of it. Hindi siya galit, pero ayaw niyang mapahawak ako.

“Be careful, okay? Call me when you need anything.”

“Salamat, Paige.”

My tears fell as soon as I ended the call.

This is right. This is the only way I can forgive myself for what I did to my nephew. So, Ate Ivy can finally forgive me.