Darkbeam Part I

Chapter 7

Clouds danced in the sky above. I squinted. Weird clouds. They were actual shapes—clowns juggling, horses galloping, a lion roaring, and a rabbit jumping.

“Oh, look at that one,” said a female voice. I looked to my left.

She was lying in the crook of my arm, pointing at the sky. It was the redhead with freckles again. I stared as her lips moved, describing the cloud.

She was kind of beautiful, in an unconventional way. The feeling came. It crept into my soul. It warmed my ever-freezing bones. I was addicted to this feeling, yet I had no idea what it was.

All my emotions had been smashed into a big ball; I felt everything at once.

Her eyes caught on mine.

“Blake, the point of this game is, you actually have to make pictures by staring at the clouds, not at me.”

I laughed and my face turned automatically toward the clouds. “Fine. That one looks like a baboon.” I laughed softly. This Blake sucked at the game. “That one looks like a guy getting a blow job.”

The redhead laughed. “You are such a pig.” Despite her words, she climbed on top of me. “But I absolutely love every ounce of you.” Her face neared mine. A shift in my body told me my heart was beating faster. I couldn’t breathe, but it wasn’t the scary kind of suffocating; this... this was amazing. And then our lips touched.

My eyes opened. It was dark. The clouds were gone, the redhead was gone.

Who is she?

Was I going to meet her? Was she supposed to be my rider?

If she was, I was so screwed. I would never get a chance with her. She’d never get to take that first breath.

A title stuck with me: “Never-Breath.”

Words started flowing through my mind again. I got up. I needed a pen and paper.

I couldn’t find any, so I left. The funny part was that I didn’t care about anything anymore. Not about Isaac and what he might think when he found his couch empty. Not Phil or Tabitha, when I saw her on Monday again.

Not my mother.

Getting these words on paper was more important than anything else.

I just had to hold on to them.

I found myself in front of our creaky old house. It was a wonder that the thing was still standing. Termites holding hands.

It made me upset just thinking about everything again. We owned a shitload of land behind those Creepers, plus a mansion, which probably had burned to the ground. A cave stuffed with gold that we could never get to. It probably was the first place those assholes raided, the dragon caves.

The Council hold no value in our lives. My father had been King Albert’s dragon, for crying out loud. I was the Rubicon. I guessed the Council already knew my fate and didn’t see us as assets anymore. They didn’t care about what King Albert had wanted.

We became nothing the day he died.

I climbed the wall and jumped into my room.

When I got in, I opened my drawer and found an old notepad. I wrote down words to a song that was probably going to end up again on an album. Well, maybe not this one.

The door opened and my mother stood in the frame, clutching a golf club.

I raised my eyebrow.

“You bloody gave me a heart attack,” she said in that strong British accent of hers.

“Sorry.” I didn’t even bother to sound sorry. “Why do you have a golf club?”

She started to laugh uncontrollably.

I joined in. I’d missed her.

“You want some breakfast? Of course you do. You’re always hungry.” She closed the door behind her and headed toward the kitchen.

I went back to thinking about the words again, how I’d felt. But I couldn’t get my mother standing with a golf club in the doorway out of my head.

The door flew open again, and a figure with a very loud, shrill voice ran into my room. Her body connected hard with mine. My sister’s floral scent filled my nostrils.

“You finally came back. You know how much I missed you? This house is so empty without you. Why didn’t you come home? Where were you just now?”

“Stop with the million questions. I needed a pen and paper.”

She squinted. “You came home for a pen and paper.”

“Yeah.” I sighed audibly. “Crazy, huh?”

She shrugged. “Are you at least going to stay for breakfast? She’ll make me crazy if you just disappear again.”

“Yeah, I’ll stay.” I smiled.

She smiled back. Her dimples dented deep into her cheeks. She got up and walked to my door. “It’s really great to see you again, Blake.” The door closed behind her.

This was one of the reasons I didn’t want to come back. I didn’t want to hurt them, or worse—I didn’t want the beast to hurt them.

They were the only people who still looked up to me. I didn’t know what I would do if that ever changed.

I stayed for breakfast. My mother kept talking about the Council, the things they’d promised her, but there was a shallow pool of deceit clinging to her face. She was trying to dodge my questions about my father.

I hadn’t seen him yet.

I sighed. She knew how I felt and I wasn’t going to spoil today because of his disappearance. For all I knew he was stuck in a bar or some casino.

Then, the conversation took a drastic turn and we started speaking about Lucian’s claiming.

“Maybe you should go and see him,” my mother suggested.

I shook my head. “I almost killed him. Believe me, he is the last guy on the planet who wants to see me.”

He’d been out for who knew how long. As far as I knew, he was still recovering.

I ended up staying for lunch. It was good to be back home again.

That night, I went back to Longbottoms. I thanked the heavens that Phil wasn’t there. I still couldn’t come to terms with what he wanted from me.

It was so evil, so vile. Killing my own kind. Yet the beast inside wanted nothing more. It was as if I’d opened a box full of possibilities. One that could push my humanity over the edge, that could make me give in to the darkness.

I sat in a corner, trying to figure out more words to the song. I had two sentences down. Just two, and yet when I read them, they encapsulated exactly how I felt.

Who was she?

“Can I get you something else to drink?” a girl asked and I looked up.

Her eyes grew slightly when she saw me. Mine did, too, but not enough to make her uncomfortable.

She had red hair and her skin was dusted with freckles. But she wasn’t even close to the dream girl. Her features were just similar. The exact same hair color.

“Sorry.” I chuckled. “Um, yeah, another beer with fire-powder.”

“Sure,” she said briskly.

Smiling, I tuned in to her. Her heart was stammering in her chest. “Am I seeing things?” she asked the bartender under her breath, unaware of my excellent hearing.

“I don’t know, Lesley. You are kind of weird.”

“Ha ha.” She sounded sarcastic. “I think the Rubicon is here.” She leaned over the bar and I looked away as the bartender peered in my direction.

“Is it just my imagination? I doubt he would come here. He’s at Dragonia, right?”

The bartender laughed. “Lesley, he is free to go places. You know Dragonia is only in the sky. It’s not a prison.”

“So it’s really him!”

“Why so surprised? He used to play with the Shifters all the time.”

“Are you serious?”

“How did you not know that he was the lead singer?”

“My mom never let me listen to the Shifters, okay?” She sounded embarrassed. “It’s a dragon thing.”

Her mom didn’t like dragons.

I chuckled. In less than five minutes, she was back, handing me my beer.

“I’m Blake,” I introduced myself. At her hesitancy, I continued, “I promise I won’t eat you.”

She laughed. “Lesley.”

“Sit.” I put away my notepad.

She looked around at the bartender.

“Just sit. I know Jimmy well.”

“I bet you do.” She put down her tray and followed me to sit on the couch next to me.

I couldn’t help but feel the distance between us. But I had to find out if Lesley was the girl from my dreams or not. So I started talking to her about ordinary things.

She went to one of the human schools. She was okay with the fact that the dragons ruled the skies, but she’d never been near one. Her mother was too scared that we might turn tail and kill them.

“Your mother does know that we have human forms, right?”

She laughed. “I really don’t know. I’m too scared to ask her.”

I chuckled too.

“You’re not that bad,” she blurted out. “Everyone says how evil you are, but you’re not.”

“You wouldn’t say that if you truly knew me, Lesley.”

She kept quiet for a second and then someone called her name. “I‘ve got to go. Work is calling again.”

Longbottom’s was exceptionally quiet again tonight. I felt bad for Jimmy.

So I went and took the stage without asking anyone.

“Hey, that is not for…” Jimmy said and I looked over my shoulder. He backed away immediately. With his hands in the air he retreated to the bar without a single word.

I sat in a chair and looked at the few occupied booths. I strummed the house guitar that had gone from sitting disregarded at the back of the stage to be cradled in my arms like there was nowhere else it wanted to be.

The microphone was in front of my face, and before I knew it, a tune burst out of me. My hoodie was still on but when I opened my mouth, I could hear the twitters of the meager crowd.

They all mumbled similar things: You’ve got to be kidding me. No way, it’s not him. f**k, I need to tell Sandy.

I smiled. Jimmy could thank me later.

Singing and playing felt good. I’d missed it. I‘d been performing for about half an hour and Longbottom’s was already filling up.

Even Isaac and the band had come. They just picked up the other instruments without saying a word and we jammed a few of our songs we’d written before the band had broken up.

An hour later, it was packed. I sang my heart out. The crowd was cheering like crazy. Lines formed outside. Longbottom’s probably hadn’t been full like this in a f*****g long time.

I had fun, the band had fun, and I thought maybe, just maybe, we should get back together.

Then it was over. My voice was raw and fading. “Thank you all. You have no idea how much I needed that.” I did the polite thing of thanking the amazing crowd. They all screamed for more and I tapped on my throat, telling them it was f****d.

They laughed and the band went upstairs.

“Dude, you back?” Ty asked. He was brawny like me; the girls loved him. He had this army thing going on and was a Shifter like Isaac. A panther. He used to pull off all his clothes at the end of our gigs and shift into a panther, growling at the crowds. They loved him.

“Maybe.” I slap-shook his hand.

“Maybe is not good enough, dude. Tell me that wasn’t the f*****g shit.”

“Yeah, it was the f*****g shit.”

We all laughed as Jamie and the others greeted me with handshakes.

“What happened last night?” Isaac said.

“Sorry, I went home.”

His eyebrows raised. “Home, as in home?”

I nodded.

“Then it’s all okay.” He smiled.

I shook my head. It was unbelievable how they just forgot so easily.

The last time I saw them, I almost tore Ty apart, Isaac had jumped in between, and we’d fought in our true forms. The last thing I remembered seeing was Isaac falling. I hadn’t even followed. I’d just flown away.

“Stop thinking about that.” Isaac was handing me a beer.

I squinted. “How’d you know?”

“It’s written all over your face. Look.” He pointed at Ty. “Not a f*****g scar. No missing limbs. We’re tougher than you think, Blake. Let us help you. Please.”

“You’ll get hurt.”

“It’s our choice, all of us. Don’t push us away, bud. Just sing your heart out, like tonight. You needed this as much as we did. The band needs you, and from what it looks like, you need us.”

I laughed as Lesley gaped at everyone.

“You know her?” Isaac asked.

“It’s a long story.”

“Won’t ask. Just one thing: she’s not really your type.”

“Like I said, long story.”

Isaac laughed and that was where we left it.

Lesley had her hands full. Plenty of the girls who had VIP access flirted with the band. Isaac found his girl for the night, and so did Ty. Well, he had like three.

Panthers.

It was a bit too much for me, being overpowered by female hormones. I had to get away, get fresh air. So I climbed onto the roof and found Lesley smoking a cigarette.

She had a semi–heart attack when I accidentally startled her.

“Sorry, I really didn’t mean that.” My voice was still f****d.

“I didn’t know you were part of the Shifters. Wow.”

I shook my head. “So explain why your mother never let you listen to us.” She squinted and I tapped my ears. “Enhanced hearing.”

“You were spying on me earlier,” she sounded embarrassed.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to.”

“It’s because she thought they were dragons,” she said.

“No, I’m the only dragon. And look.” I moved my hands up and down my body. “No scales.”

“Yeah, I see that. It’s what happens when the scales come out that makes me worry.”

“Does it help if I tell you I don’t like it either?”

She squinted. “But dragon is what you truly are.”

“Yep. And it feels as if I have no control when I am one. So how can it be who I truly am?”

She sighed. “I’m learning so much about dragons tonight, it’s scary.”

She laughed and I smiled.

Then, before I could stop myself, my lips touched hers and one thing quickly led to another.

I looked at the sticky note in my pocket as I stood in my room back at Dragonia.

Her name wasn’t even written on it. I wouldn’t remember who she was in the next few weeks. So I’d written Redhead, her phone number, and one word: Coincidence.

She wasn’t the girl from my dreams. That much I now knew. I felt bad that I was never going to call her. Then why the hell am I keeping her number? I don’t know. I really don’t know.

Lucian still hadn’t returned. I was glad that Tabitha hadn’t come over tonight to scream at me. I just couldn’t go home with her. I couldn’t. I was glad, though, that I’d gotten a chance to jam last night. The tabloids buzzed about our potential reunion. Some even had pictures of last night at Longbottom’s.

Maybe it was time for us to get back together and jump back on that horse again. I couldn’t believe none of them were angry at me for what had happened. I couldn’t even remember what’d triggered it. It was something stupid, that much I knew.

I wrote a few more sentences in my journal about my dream. It was hardly a verse, but it was what I felt.

My voice was still f****d and my healing ability still sucked. I laughed at my rhyme. Why was I was like that? Why was the artist in me so strong?

I closed my eyes when I couldn’t keep them open anymore.

I found myself in a maze.

It was the same kind of maze that was in Lucian’s backyard. The kind that shifted in the full moon. Purple flowers blossomed everywhere.

I was chasing something, or someone.

“Marco!” I yelled.

“Polo!” She yelled back from somewhere on my left.

I changed direction. As I ran the maze changed. I still couldn’t see her. “Marco!” I yelled again.

“Polo!” She was on the other side this time. How the hell was she doing this?

I grunted but changed directions. The maze changed a few times. When I yelled “Marco!” again, no “Polo” came.

Shockingly bone-deep worry welled up inside me. Why was I so scared?

Then a body connected hard with mine and I lost my balance.

The redhead was wearing a mask. She wore a beautiful poufy dress. Her body was dusted with freckles. She laughed softly. “Why are you staring at me like that? It’s as if you’re only seeing me for the first time.”

“Who are you?” It came out just like that.

She frowned. “What do you mean, who am I?” She sounded afraid. I could hear it when her voice broke. “You’re scaring me. What’s going on?”

I shook my head and kissed her. I didn’t want to stop, but I had no choice. Everything stopped when my alarm went off.

She was gone and I was left with a longing for something I didn’t even understand.