Darkbeam Part I

Chapter 16

“Hansel! Hansel! Hansel!”

The crowd cheered my name. Technically not my name, but who I was at the moment.

A Green-Vapor named Patrick was filling the cage full of chlorine gas.

I held my breath. The chlorine did no harm, but I pretended it was a b***h. My eyes watered slightly because of the gas, but that was about it. Phil threw me a fake mask and I pulled it over my face.

I stopped pretending when the prop was on my face. It was time. Time for the Green-Vapor to stop breathing altogether. I leapt and found myself at the end of one of his wings. I ran up toward his back and grabbed hold of his mane. Acid poured from my hands. Acid they thought belonged to my dragon.

Dimi was in fact hiding my true appearance with his dark incantations. Nobody even saw his lips move.

I could feel the magic holding who I was in place.

Kiiiilllllll, the beast rejoiced inside me.

The acid ran over the fin-like mane on his head and he shrieked.

The sounds coming from him were deafening. They seeped deep into my soul. This wasn’t going to be like the others. Jeff, one of the guys at Dragonia, was a Green-Vapor, for crying out loud.

I could just as well kill him too.

Kill! the beast roared again. My acid ran stronger.

I tore his mane. The sight through the mask was as gruesome as it was without. Nothing was hidden. Blood spilled from his neck where his mane had been.

Nausea crept into my gut.

Kill him now, you i***t! the beast roared.

My hands, dripping with acid, traced his wings. Balls and balls of acid.

He tried to grab me with his claws and teeth, but they just snapped at air.

I was way too fast for him in my human form, and he wouldn’t have stood a chance in my true form.

The sound of his wings being incinerated from his body would become my new nightmare.

It was that deep, tearing through flesh sound.

I lost it.

I couldn’t contain it anymore. For a few seconds, I went crazy. Acid mixed with blood and guts spilled onto the floor. I slipped and fell, but it didn’t matter. It was over.

The Green-Vapor was no more.

“Hansel! Hansel! Hansel!” the crowd chanted. It did something to me. The sound of their voices. I screamed and lifted my arms in victory.

I was a monster, killing my own kind.

Killing Patrick was the last fight for the weekend.

The prize was once again my stash: Fire-Cain.

Phil hesitated. “I know my sister can be a pain in the ass sometimes, Blake, but she does care about you.”

I stared at him. He was not giving me relationship advice.

“Treat her nice.”

I didn’t say anything. The beast was satisfied. He loved Phil and all his schemes that fed my darkness.

I hated every single damn thing that came out of his mouth.

I wasn’t hers to begin with.

I was nobody’s.

Not even Irene’s.

I took my stash as Dimi approached.

“Samuel wants to see you.”

Samuel. That sadistic fucker. I couldn’t protest, even though I wanted to, because of that stupid contract. He could have my balls on a plate if I didn’t do what he said. I hated being tied to someone. It wasn’t who I was, what I was built for. The magic that he had over me compelled me to follow Dimitri to the locker rooms. If I didn’t, he would force me. The grip he had on me was tight. Real tight.

I changed quickly. Getting to the limo was a mission. Everyone clamored for my attention, an autograph, a stolen kiss, a gleeful embrace. I liked the attention; it wasn’t as overpowering as the Rubicon’s.

The limo finally came into sight. Dimi opened the door. I waved before climbing in.

Inside, Samuel was staring out of the window. I’d learned the hard way not to speak or show any signs of life when he went silent like this.

The limo purred away.

“Why did you take so long?” Samuel asked.

I didn’t understand the question.

“Answer me, Blake.”

“I don’t know. Maybe fighting isn’t as easy as you think.”

“Next time keep under half an hour. I thought that you might lose this time. Don’t play with my money like that, Blake. If you die, nobody will protect your family.”

I ground my teeth. I’d kill him myself if he ever tried.

“Do you understand?” His hands encircled my neck and jerked me to face him, inches away, his breath hot on my chin. He slapped me hard on the cheek. “I’ve got way too much money on this, boy. Don’t f**k with me. You hear?”

I nodded. As pathetic as it was, these were the beast’s friends. This was where he wanted me to be, even if I didn’t agree.

He took something out of his pocket and threw it at me. It was a small packet of bills.

I look at him, uncomprehending.

“For next time. To kill them faster.”

I thumbed the money.

He spoke in Spanish to the driver and nodded at Dimi. The limo stopped in the middle of nowhere as I felt Dimi’s magic slowly evaporating.

“Get out.”

I gaped at Samuel.

“Out, boy!” he shouted.

I had no choice but to get out and watch him shut the door behind me. The limo drove away.

I gritted my teeth as the real me returned. The Rubicon was at peace. I stretched out my arms and pushed myself up into the air.

I’d never felt so pathetic in my life.

“Blake?” my mother said. “Where did you get this money?”

“Does it matter? Just take it.”

She gave me that look. The one filled with concern and fear.

“Don’t worry. I didn’t steal it, if that is what you’re afraid of.”

She flung her arms around me. “You know I’m grateful, right?”

“Yeah, I know.” I kissed her on the head.

“Your father is just…”

“Don’t make excuses for him, Mom. He should know better.”

She nodded. “You don’t know what it’s like for him. He had everything…”

“He still has us! Look what he is doing. I don’t want to hear how he lost everything. It was almost fifteen years ago. He should get over it and move on.”

“Please!” She raised her voice. “I don’t want to fight.”

“Then stop defending him.” I looked around. “Where is he anyway?”

“He took Samantha to Warbel practice at the club. He is trying, Blake.”

I hope it sticks this time. I really did.

“You aren’t staying?”

“No, I have other arrangements,” I said and saw the disappointment on her face. I hugged my mom.

“I miss you.”

“I know you do. I just cannot deal with him right now. I’ve gotta go. I’ll speak to you soon.”

She nodded. “You still here?” She was referring to the darkness.

“I’m still here, Mom.” For now.

I walked out the front door.

I was glad Samantha wasn’t there. She would find a way to convince me to stay.

I took to the sky again and flew back to the Academy. All the while, fears chased me like ghosts. Images of my mother finding out what I’d done to get that money haunted me.

Was I still here? Was I truly trying to hold on, or was I starting to give in?

I hoped I didn’t exist when my mother discovered the truth about who I really was.

I was in the ring again. Patrick the Green-Vapor was overpowering me.

“I know it’s you, Rubicon.”

He was stronger.

He ripped at my arm. The screams were deafening. I didn’t know how this fight could’ve gone so wrong so quickly.

I killed him. I knew I had. But somehow here he was. Beating me. Calling me out.

“You are a monster, Blake Leaf!” he kept yelling.

I grew smaller and smaller as the crowd chanted, “Monster! Monster! Monster!”

The words took the shape of an invisible force and it started to grip my neck. Suffocating me. I couldn’t breathe.

“Monster! Monster! Monster….”

I shot upright in bed, panting heavily.

For a few seconds, I tried to get the invisible grip around my neck to loosen until I realized I was in my own room.

Reality dawned on me. What I had done, truly had done.

Bile rose in my throat. I ran to the bathroom and barely made it to the toilet. I barfed.

Thank God Lucian wasn’t here. He’d gone home like he always did on weekends.

I could still hear Patrick’s screams, still smell his insides spilled all over the floor, hear his flesh incinerating and ripping from his body.

I couldn’t deal with this, not now.

I grabbed the bag of Fire-Cain that Phil had given me and poured a bit onto the palm of my hand, snorting it up. It burned my nostrils and set my brain on fire. It only lasted for a few seconds. Then, everything changed, the world fuzzy and clouded.

The high was everything I ever needed. It felt good to be free. To not feel or care or hear anything I didn’t want to hear.

I was at peace.

And that was how I wanted it to be.

The next few weeks, I dreamed about Patrick every night.

I didn’t dream that he broke me anymore. My mind was too strong and even in dreams I knew the truth. I dreamed about the horrible deeds that had actually happened. Which were worse.

“Blake what is going on with you?” Lucian asked one morning. “Who is Patrick?”

“Leave me alone,” I mumbled and stalked out the door.

Irene asked me who Patrick was, too. Apparently I cried out his name in my sleep. I lied to her, told her it was an old friend who’d died a long time ago. Whether she believed me or not, I didn’t know. It wasn’t as if she could see my future anyway. All she saw was darkness upon darkness.

I tried to deal with it as best as I could. I didn’t want to fight anymore and I was literally counting the days until my contract ended.

Then one night something else, something totally different, happened.

I found myself standing in the ring. A different kind of ring. The Colosseum.

The crowds were chanting. I looked at each spectator. They all took Lucian’s form. Every single one of them was Lucian. Icy fingers of fear snatched my spine, immobilized me.

The earth vibrated. I felt it underneath my feet. I couldn’t shift. I tried, but my true form just didn’t want to come.

Wake up, Blake.

Nothing happened.

I choked and gasped for air.

I wanted to run. I never ran. I was no coward. But whatever was making the earth vibrate was big—and unfriendly.

I couldn’t get away. My feet became lead. They didn’t want to move.

Lucian, every single one of him, pointed in my direction. Then everything just stopped. There was no more vibration, no sound. Just all the Lucians pointing at me and the sickening taste of silence.

The gate of the Colosseum creaked open. A drum beat rose, a tattoo of terror. It grew louder and louder until I realized what it was.

Not a drum.

When it came out, I had to cover my eyes as the sun reflected off armor. A thousand knights, all of them were wearing platinum—no, white, pure white—armor.

They marched to the same beat. Toward me.

A thousand knights couldn’t claim me. It was against dragon law.

I finally shifted but I wasn’t as big as I accustomed to being. In fact, the closer the knights came, the smaller I grew.

No, this wasn’t right.

No.

No.

No! I woke up.

My breath was rapid.

Why the f**k did I just dream that?

“It’s just a dream, Blake.” Lucian was at my side.

His hand touched my shoulder. “Just a dream.”