Darkbeam Part I

Chapter 3

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The claiming and Lucian’s absence took a tremendous toll on me. The claim had been a victory for the beast, but I had lost.

Lucian was one of my best friends—still was, in a way. Even though I couldn’t come near him.

That light.

I was the only one who could see it. What caused the light? Lucian had a good heart and a kind soul. He would never give up on his friends. He saw me as a brother, so yes, his persistence was amplified because of that.

That purity in his soul was magical all by itself. I would put it in the same category as a mother’s love, a father’s protection, a brother’s promise... They all left a mark.

That mark of pure love didn’t mesh so well with my darkness. It made me recoil every time I came within a few feet of him. It made me sick. Made me nauseous.

I blamed the beast.

It was doing this on purpose. It knew how much Lucian hated the darkness. The beast knew I would do anything for my brother, at least that small part that was still holding on deep inside of me.

I must be such a huge disappointment to Lucian. What did he think? That I was going to roll over and give up?

It wasn’t that easy.

If he was strong enough, he would earn it.

With all the thoughts swirling in my head, I skipped class and went back to View Top Mountain. I had to plant trees to replace the ones I had destroyed the day before.

As my wings furled and I landed, shame flooded me. My temper tantrum had done this. A strong pine smell used to linger in the air. In the beginning, the forest would calm my soul. A sedative to the darkness. But now it did nothing. The pine smell was gone and in its place was a sooty, charred smell.

I did this.

“I am what I am, Blake: you. Nothing more. Stop treating me like an independent entity, because I’m not.”

The voice in my head was like honey. A voice I could never trust. The voice of darkness. My darkness, also known as the beast.

I would always think of it as an entity. It wasn’t me. Well, not yet anyway. I would never embrace it, never think of it as me. For now that was the only way to cope.

Evil laughter echoed inside my head and chilled me to the bone. It threatened to drive me to the brink of insanity. I covered my ears to no avail.

I thought about Lucian’s promise again. When we were thirteen.

That time it had been so easy, easy to hold on.

Now, it was nearly impossible, but I couldn’t give up. I had to hold on. I had to keep fighting. Had to for my mother, for my sister, and for Lucian.

My father? I didn’t want to think about him.

Those were the only people who really meant anything to me, really. Yet they were the ones I pushed away the hardest.

I wished none of this was so damn complicated, but this was my life.

I’d been thinking back to my foretelling, the one Irene had made when my egg hatched. Why did she see that, and not the guy who betrayed my true rider’s parents? Was it because it was mostly about me, and not them?

She’d been seeing funny things lately. Things that made absolutely no sense. Some sort of a search was happening, a killing spree. She couldn’t tell me where or when the search was taking place, or who was committing the bloodshed. She just saw victims, all perished. For what cause, I don’t know. Why was it linked to me? Was this killer my future self, united with the beast at last?

It only awakened the beast more.

The Viden saw the killings so clearly.

A part of me loved it. The danger, the chase, the death. To be truly free from what I was fighting against. Not to feel so tired anymore.

Another part of me was terrified of how much I liked it.

It scared the living crap out of her too.

I knocked on the Viden’s door. The tower was behind the boys’ tower but separate, off to one side of the castle.

Vines with dainty purple flowers ran up to the lone window that overlooked Dragonia Academy.

This was where Irene met with all the students at least once a month. Except for me. I was the Rubicon; I was required to see her up to three times a week.

Irene was a three-hundred-year-old Moon-Bolt dragon. She could see into the future and had guided a multitude of humans, dragons, and other magical beings to their true destinies.

But in person, she appeared the opposite of someone who was three hundred years old.

Because of dragons’ magical essence, we aged slowly. Part of that essence could be transferred to humans. The precise ins and outs of the process had never triggered my curiosity.

Her essence made her look like she was in her late twenties, tops. It drove students nuts. She was gorgeous with long black hair, big cerulean eyes, and a skin that made me think of caramel, or something else I wanted to taste.

I was f****d if she saw even a glint of lust.

She opened the door.

Something always changed inside of me, rippled through my being whenever I came to see her.

“Good afternoon, Blake.” Her lips fanned out and revealed the whitest pearls and deepest dimple in her left cheek. “Come in.”

I entered, wiping my hands on my jeans. Sweaty palms?

What was it about this creature that put me on edge? She wasn’t intimidating. No, this was something I couldn’t put words to. Why did she make me so nervous?

I sat down at a spindly table with an orb resting in the center. I’d never seen her use it; I truly wondered if it wasn’t just for show.

She disappeared into the kitchen. The sound of a kettle whistling on a hot plate filled the room. She loved her tea. Her voice floated out from the kitchen. “So, how do you feel after our last session?”

“Okay, I guess. Have you seen any more killings?”

Seen. She knew what I meant. I doubted she had; I needed to be in her immediate vicinity for her to see a glimpse of visions related to me.

She laughed. My own lips curved slightly at the sound of her sweet laughter.

“You know that’s not how it works.” She came out of the kitchen with a tray that held two cups and a plate of cookies. She put the tray down and handed me a cup of tea.

I’d never drank a cup before and wondered why she kept offering. The same with the cookies. She put the plate in front of me, and I shook my head.

She smiled and left the plate in front of me. Silence filled the room as she prepared her tea. It was that awkward, suffocating kind of silence. She sat in the chair diagonal to me.

“So,” she started, pinning me with those big blue eyes of hers.

It was hard to think of her as a three-hundred-year-old dragon when she looked just a few years older than me.

“How are you feeling?”

“Same,” I mumbled. She would know before anyone else did if there had been a drastic change in my darkness. That was how potent her ability was. Her connection to me was strong, and the beast felt something for her too. Of course he did. The only problem was that I didn’t know if it was good or bad.

“I’ve tried to channel other tools to see. The cards were no help.” Her eyebrows rose. “And the tea leaves are all over the place. It’s hard to make out what they show.”

“What do they say?” I had to know.

You won’t be claimed, boy! The beast said.

She shook her head. “It’s better to leave it.”

“What do they say, Irene?” I was adamant.

She looked at me. “What do you want me to tell you? That the only thing your cards indicate me is darkness and death? Only destruction, not an ounce of hope? The leaves give me omens, dark omens, and…” She shook her head and closed her eyes. A breath left her lips and she sank lower in her chair.

“And what?”

“I get headaches, Blake.” She rested with her head on her hand and stared at me through thick, dark eyelashes that went on for days.

I looked away. “Headaches?”

“It’s like the darkness is starting to block me from your future. I can still see bits here and there, but when I truly do see something connected with you, it leaves me with a mother of a headache.”

“I’m sorry.”

She touched my arm. It felt good. As if I needed her touch.

Hungry thoughts filled my head, visions of taking things further with Irene. Taking her. Things I shouldn’t have ever thought to begin with. I jumped up “I’ve got to go.”

“Blake, you just got here.”

“You said it yourself, Irene.” I paused at the door. “It’s only darkness and bad omens.” I left.

What was happening? Why her? What does it want with her? The way her touch felt on my skin, it was innocent. Yet the beast made it feel different.

Why her?

Because it’s forbidden, it whispered.

The muscles of my jaw clenched. I hated how it always got exactly what it wanted. But not this time. No, I would fight.

I was still in control