Bad friend

CHAPTER TEN

I ALWAYS FELT barely tethered to reality at this time of the day. After spending hours in the sun and sea and coming back to the house to shower and get ready to go out once more. When the the sun is slowly saying it's goodbyes and the waves are calmer.

I felt here but only just.

Standing in front of the large windows above the sink, looking out onto the beach, the soft breeze brushed onto my sunburnt skin, cooling it. My hair was still wet and fell down my back, smelling of summer and salt. I held a mug of raspberry tea in my hands, wanting to hold onto this feeling forever.

"No daughter of Andrea could be ready this fast." David chuckles from behind and I glance over my shoulder to see him shuffling into the kitchen. I chuckle and turn around, leaning back against the large white sink.

"Well, when you've accidentally shown up into a lecture in your unicorn pyjama shorts it teaches you a few things on not caring." I shrug as I explain and David takes a seat at the island block.

Since it was Michael's first night back in Holden Bay, we were all going out to his restaurant of choice-it was also part arcade. Everyone was currently getting ready since there's only two showers and after a race up the stairs, Penn and I managed to get in first.

As my mother and Emily's mother are good friends and Emily often babysat Michael, she was invited out tonight too. She had spent the entire day with us at the beach too. She's a really sweet girl and she seems to be getting along with everyone.

I'm sick and tired of being weary and hating everyone who's not from my friend group. My first year of college was a f*****g nightmare; anyone who came up to me honestly scared me shitless. I'm so damn tired of being fearful.

"Everyone would've been jealous anyway." David points out and I nod with a small scoff. "Anyway's, I'm glad you're here first because I've been needing to talk to you."

"Oh shit." My eyes widen as I walk forward and place my mug down on to the island block.

"It's nothing serious," David chuckles at me, "I just

want to make sure that everything's alright with you."

I frown with a small amused scoff, "With me?"

"I want you to know that I see you as my own daughter, Hayden, and I've noticed that you...you seem different." David explains and I know my frown turns into confusion as he continues, "You're one of the most badass and strong-willed women I have ever met, the other one being your mother. When I first met you I remember thinking 'holy s**t I do not want to go up against this girl when there's only one rotisserie chicken left at the supermarket."

"That happened once. The lady broke her ankle but moral of the story, I got my chicken and it was delicious." I explain as David laughs at me and shakes his head at the preposterous but completely true story.

"I'm glad it was," David smiles softly at me, "And I understand, given the circumstances of the past, that this is change in behaviour is natural. But you were doing so well and we were so proud of you but now...it's like there's a part of you missing."

I run a hand through my hair and sigh out in

frustration, "Oh fuck..."

"What? What's wrong Hayden, you can tell me." David leans forward with a worried expression on his face and I run a hand down my face.

"I uh..." I mumble as I place my hands on my hips, "I've stopped..."

"Stopped what?" David frowns before realisation washes over his face, "You've stopped going to

therapy?"

I nod, "It wasn't help-"

"You've stopped going to therapy?"

I glance to my left to see Chase standing at the bottom of the stairs, his expression blank as always.

"Chase, you weren't meant to hear that." I shake my

head as I straighten my spine. He begins to walk

towards us in the kitchen.

"f**k if I wasn't meant to hear it or not!" Chase exclaims as he stops at the end of the island block, "When did you stop, Jones?"

"About three months before we..." I trail off, watching a flicker of pain cross his face, "It wasn't helping anymore. The nightmares had stopped and I didn't see his face on stranger's in the street anymore! I was fine -I am fine."

"Were you cleared by your therapist? By a psychiatrist?" Chase questions as he folds his arms.

"No..." I trail off as I look away from his intense glare, "But what does it matter anyway? You got shot and you only went to therapy for a few months."

"Because I wasn't the one who was f*****g held hostage!" Chase exclaims as I inhale deeply at the word hostage.

"f**k you, Everett. You don't get a say in this. You don't have to care anymore." I point at him as I narrow my eyes at him. Chase pauses as he stares at me for a while, before he begins to chuckle darkly.

He runs a hand through his hair, "Fine. Do whatever

the f**k you want, Hayden."

And then he turned and walked back upstairs. I stare at the stairs across the space for a while before sighing and placing my hand to my forehead and the other to my hip.

"Why is it so damn hard." I whisper to myself as I feel David walk around the island block and wrap his arms around me.

"Because you still love each other so much." David whispers to me, "It wouldn't hurt if you didn't love him."

I sigh out heavily once more and nod. David was right,

because it hurt so f*****g much.

After cooling down and making myself another mug of raspberry tea, I make my way upstairs. Part of me wanted to go to Chase, tell him I'm sorry and I miss him so much and that I just want to be with him. He's ruined me completely and I don't think I'll ever be able to give my heart to someone in the same way I gave it to him.

I hear giggling coming from my room and being the snoopy-assed-nose gal that I am, I investigate. When I push the bedroom door open I see my mother, Vera and Emily sitting on the bed laughing at something.

"Hay!" Vera grins as I walk in with a curious frown.

"What's going on here?" I question, noticing all the clothes on the floor and bed.

"Well, Emily didn't have any clothes to go out to dinner in so we were just helping her." My mother explains from where she sat on the comfy white arm chair in the corner. The setting sun streamed through the open windows, creating a beautiful glow to the room.

"That's my dress." I state before I could stop myself as I eye the blue floral, spaghetti trapped dress sitting in Emily's lap. She nervously plays with the material as she looks to Vera or my mother for help.

"My super model legs are just too long for Em and she's about your size." Vera explains as she glances down at Emily who sat criss-cross in the middle of our bed. Emily was about my height but she had a very model like figure. Not that there was anything wrong with that, she was a very beautiful girl. She just had smaller hips, breasts and butt.

"If that's not ok with you I'll just go out in what I wore the beach." Emily says as she looks up at me with a worried expression. But there was something about her stare that said otherwise.

"Of course not! Trust me, if you were my size I'd be

sending you out in Gucci and Prada, my darling." Vera

chuckles as Emily laughs awkwardly. "Remember when you two use to wear matching bedazzled tracksuits?" My mother laughs as she claps

her hands, "It was so cute!"

"I can't!" Vera squeals in excitement as her and my mother laugh together. "It's totally fine that Em wears it. Right Hay?"

I say through gritted teeth, "Sure..."

I glance at my mother who mouths 'thank you' at me as Noah steps into the room with a white towel turban on his head. Not sure why since his blonde hair was short but he rocked the look regardless.

"The shower's free." He explains as Emily slips off the bed with my dress in her hand. It was one of my favourite dress too.

"Thank you so much, Hayden." Emily grins at me as she places her hand to my shoulder and walks out of the room. She closes the door behind her as I stare at Vera and my mother in the room.

"Hey, are you okay? We heard you fighting with Chase. just before." Vera questions as she pats the bed next to her. I shuffle across the room and sit down on the edge.

"Yeah, it was just a little disagreement." I shrug as Vera

kisses me cheek with a soft smile, "I think I'm just hella hungry that it's beginning to piss me off."

"Wow, now who's the pregnant hormonal one." Vera chuckles at me as I roll my eyes.

Ronnie's, the pizza parlour s***h acarde, was apparently a very popular place for all ages in Holden Bay. It opened a few weeks after I moved to Caldwell so I never got to enjoy the sticky floors and pizza overloaded with cheese. It was on the pier, so most of the far wall was just large open bi-fold windows that looked over the ocean below.

We got a large table right next to one, allowing the cool ocean breeze to blow onto us. After we had eaten, everyone got up to go play games in the arcade portion. of the restaurant while Penn, Levi and I stayed. I glance into neon-light mayhem and see Emily and Chase standing together.

My heart does the usual little flip-flop as I watch them laughing while standing over a classic Whac-A-Mole machine.I watch a Emily laughs a little too hard and places her hand to Chase's shoulder.

"I don't think Pizza juice is very nutritious, Hay." Levi comments from next to me, "But to each their own."

"Huh?" I frown as I glance down to see that I was squeezing the greasy life out of my poor pizza. I let it go instantly and it flops onto my plate, "Oh shit."

"Here." Penn giggles at me as she grabs a few napkins and begins to wipe my hands from me, "Poor pizza."

"Thanks." I snort when my hands had been wiped down and I glance back at Chase and Emily who were still playing the dumb machine. Whac-A-Mole isn't even that fun-what do you mean, you hit a kid with the hammer when he beat your high score?

I narrow my eyes on the pair as I scull back the rest of my orange juice.

"You know what I've always wondered?" Penn questions as both Levi and I turn to look at her, "Are lobsters like mermaids to scorpions?

"Whoa!" Levi exclaims suddenly, scaring me slightly, "They should make a documentary on that."

"Heck yes the should!" Penn exclaims as they pair high

fives in front of my face. I laugh at them while shaking

my head.

"I love you two weirdos." I smile at the.

"Naw, we love you too Hayden." Penn beams as she kisses my cheek and wraps her arms around my shoulders.

Levi shrugs, "You're ok."

Penn and I laugh at him as we go back to casual conversation and eating the rest of our pizza. I glance back at the arcade to see Emily and Chase had moved deeper into the mayhem of little kids and I couldn't quite see them. I could however, see Noah and Michael having a very intense game of air hockey. Itwas hilarious because they were basically the same person.

My eyes then drift to see a girl stealing a little kids drink as he walks past. When he turns to confront her about it, she glares at him. She was really pretty with light brown hair and was wearing a white sundress, but there was a cold dead look in her eye. But it was a familiar look that I've seen in only one other person.

I watch her for a while as she stands at the entrance of the arcade. A young boy comes bouncy out, carrying a ballon that had the restaurant's logo printed on it. And what does the girl do? She pops it with her sharpened plastic straw.

The boy immediately erupts in a storm of tears and whines as his parents quickly usher him away from the girl. This girl was a f*****g psychopath.

"Who is that?" Levi questions from where he sat beside me.

My eyes widen as I glance at him, "Oh no, Levi. I don't

think she's "

The girl had noticed all three of us staring and instantly lifts her middle finger at us. Hmm, where have I see that instant reaction from before?

"She's beautiful." Levi mumbles and I slap my face. Of course.

Levi still hadn't been in a real relationship yet. Sure there was Emmaline but I think they were more friends than anything. She moved to England with her parents after we graduated and Levi says they still stay in touch. I think he liked he because she didn't talk and she was a very sweet soul.

"She's crazy and mean and obviously has no emotions whatsoev "I pause as I see Levi's impassive face as if he saw no problem with what I was saying. I then sigh and give up, "OK, off you go."

Levi grins at me as he pushes up from his chair and walks towards the arcade, following behind the psychopath in white.

"He's too cute." Penn giggles beside me as I laugh along with her.

Placing my chin on my netted fingers, I glance around

the restaurant as waiters whizzed by carrying people's

orders. My eyes slowly drift over to the red brick bar

on the other side of the restaurant and glance at the

two flat screens mounted high upon the wall.

It was a news report...and Luke's face was on it.

My body instantly shuts down as I stare into his blue eyes. All sounds left the area and the only thing there was the sound of my own hyperventilating breathing.

"Hayden? You're crying." I hear Penn's voice echo as she places a hand to my shoulder. Her eyes follow my gaze and she curses, "Oh fuck."

He was wanting an appeal. He wanted to get out of jail. He was still here, torturing me.

I felt like I was going to cry, scream or vomit...or all three. It was too hot in here and the walls were shrinking, squeezing me and making my head spin.

I push to my feet, causing a few metal cutlery to fall onto the ground.

"I...uh...I..." I mumble as I try to get away from the table but I was trapped between the table and the wall. I stumble out of the small aisle but end up pushing a chair over. The chair hits the table and causes the glasses on top to fall onto the ground and smash.

I could feel people's stares on me as I struggle to stand upright and move my legs. I was grabbing onto people's shoulders as I headed for the door, my vision started to blur and darken around the edges. I glance across the restaurant once more to see Luke's face still on TV.

The reporter was explaining the situation but I couldn't hear her. I couldn't hear a f*****g thing. I felt like I was spinning at the same time the room was, just in the opposite direction.

"Ma'am are you okay?" I could hear the voice bounce off the inner walls of my skull as a waiter stand in front of me.

"Jones!" I hear from behind me and I turn around, a little too fast, to see Chase pushing through the crowd of starring kids. The sight of his face makes my knees crumble and soon I was heading face first into the ground as my vision darkens.

When I open my eyes, I could see Chase's head above me as he holds my head in his lap. He was talking to off the inner walls of my skull as a waiter stand in front of me.

"Jones!" I hear from behind me and I turn around, a little too fast, to see Chase pushing through the crowd of starring kids. The sight of his face makes my knees crumble and soon I was heading face first into the ground as my vision darkens.

When I open my eyes, I could see Chase's head above me as he holds my head in his lap. He was talking to me but I couldn't hear him and he wipes my blonde hair from my face.

I feel my eyes roll back into my head and then everything goes numb.

It was peaceful.

authors note

who agrees with david? somethings a little different with out hayden and i hope i did i good job of writing that. trauma changes people and i didn't want hayden going back to who she use to be straight away.

the healing process is f*****g long as hell.

leave your thoughts and how much you hate emily "evil laughter*