My Shifting Mate

Chapter 1

Jaiden Pov

~The Diary Entry~

I knew something was off, ever since the start of high school. I told mamaw, but she didn’t believe me. I didn’t have parents. My mama died giving birth to me, and my daddy committed suicide to be with her, unable to bear being without her. I told Alpha Hector but he didn’t believe me either. I never liked Alpha Hector or his wife, Luna Renee. After a while I brushed it off, starting to believe them. You’re imagining it, they’d say, there’s nothing there, there’s no one watching you, they’d say. After a while I ignored the tingling feeling, the hair on the back of my neck, assuming it was just my imagination, or me wanting attention as mamaw would say. They were wrong, all of them, but I’m sure they’ll never know now.

I loved my life, even though I didn’t have parents. I loved my mamaw, even though she was stern, and she looked nothing like me. I was just like my daddy, that’s what she’d always say, full-blooded Asian, even though I was half Caucasian, like my mother and mamaw. I had tanned yellow skin, creamy and pale, glowing in the light. I loved my skin, I loved how different it was from those around me. My daddy had been a wolf from a pack in Asia, his family’s pack was attacked and instead of staying there and moving to another pack, they decided to move to America instead. Wanted a new start, they said. Daddy was the only one who survived the trip, his little sister and his father died of a fever on the sea. When daddy met mama, the mate pull was strong, and without a doubt they started a life together, never looking back. Mamaw said the only thing I had of mama was the mole under my right eye, she called it my beauty mark. I also have long shiny black hair, but that could be from both my parents so who knows. Even after all these years, mamaw will talk to daddy and mama as if they’re still there, their pictures next to their urn of combined ashes on the ceremonial table.

It doesn’t bother me much that they both died like that. She couldn’t help it, and daddy loved her too much to live without her. I always wanted a love like that. Everlasting love, the type of love that people died for, the type of love that they wrote about in stories. But in reality, I was far from it. I talked too much, was annoying, I stood out, was too different. Too skinny, too gangly, unwanted. Pretty much the only Asian girl in a pack full of caucasian hicks. I heard it all growing up, and I became a loner. Staring at the crowds, watching the lovers holding hands, and watching a certain boy myself, as I ignored the tingles, ignored the feeling that I was being watched. Stupid, it was stupid. I should have known, I should have seen it coming. I never saw it coming.

There was a boy I loved. I loved everything about him. I loved how he was the most popular boy in school. I loved how his chestnut-colored hair fell to his shoulders, and how he swept it back in a low ponytail. I loved how athletic he was, and how god-like he was on the basketball court. He was gorgeous, everything to me, and I...I was a loner, invisible. His mother was close to mamaw, they had to be because of their profession. His mother would come over with him all the time, they’d eat dinner over and I’d sit next to him, trying my best not to gawk at how beautiful he was, how long his eyelashes were. I’d sit next to him and try not to have a heart attack whenever he laughed, and he laughed a lot. He was so confident, so alluring, so amazing...and I was invisible, even when I was sitting next to him. Even when another started to live with us, and I tried my best to be her friend, I was still pushed to the side, never good enough, never anything, annoying, unwanted. I tried to smile, always trying to smile, because if I didn’t then what would I do? I’d crumble, and everything would swallow me alive.

Still, I survived. She started talking to me, her best friend started talking to me, and soon we were all friends, loved, together. I finally felt like I belonged somewhere, that I was good enough, that I was loved. Still, he ignored me, but it was easier, I could breathe more, because I was loved. I just didn’t know how loved I was, as I ignored the tingles on the back of my neck, the feeling of being watched, of a presence always there, watching. I didn’t know just how wanted I truly was, until it was too late.

~Jaiden~

“Jaiden?” A heavy voice echoed through the halls. I looked up in surprise, my eyes widened in worry as I heard the heavy man coming down the hall, searching for me. I looked down at the worn notebook in my hand, biting my lip. I found it yesterday, sitting on a bookshelf at the back of the library my father had in the house. I loved to read, the moment I was able to I would pick up a book from the shelf, read it, put it back, read the next one, over and over again as I slowly made my way around the old dusty library. This book was hidden, wedged in there, out of place. I was curious about it because it didn’t have a label, no author's name, nothing. When I opened it the words were handwritten, flowing beautifully with cursive writing. It was almost...a diary. But whose was it? “Jaiden, don’t make me call for you again.” His gruff voice boomed through the hallway, making me jump. I shoved the book under my mattress, slipping on my headphones to use as an excuse just before he flung open my door.

I jumped, looking up at my father, slowly pulling the headphones off my head. He was a big man, huge, built like a rock. Everything about him was thick, his legs, his arms, his hands. He was intimidating, as he should be since he was the head of the pack. I stood up, anxious as I looked up at him. “Father? Were you calling me?” I asked him. His gaze lowered to my headphones, seeing that they were plugged into my guitar and my amp. His brown eyes were full of anger, his hands gripped tight. Oh no, too late, I knew what was coming.

“Useless, all of this is useless!” He screamed at me, grabbing the guitar out of my hands and slamming it on the ground. I frowned, shutting down. Why bother fighting with him? I couldn’t take him, He was like a boulder. Of course, I could hold my own, I had been trained practically since birth to take over, the leader's son. I was still lean, but muscular, still able to win a fight against pretty much everyone here. Everyone except my father, of course, that would be like ramming my face into a rock...no thanks. His anger was radiating from him as he stomped over to me, towering over me. I was told my father was lean like I was when he was younger, but somehow over the years he got bigger, much bigger. It was normal for bear shifters. We started normal, but after we started to transform we grew bigger and bigger, scarier, fiercer. Our tempers were unmatched, chaotic. That's why I knew there was no point in running or fighting. He’d always win, and it would just make it worse. He growled in my face, lowering himself to me as if to look into my eyes but he still towered over me. His big meaty finger pressed into my chest, nearly making me fall backward from the impact. “When I call, you come.” He growled at me.

I nodded, looking at his chest. I tried my best not to sigh, annoyed. It was always like this, the same. I was only allowed out of the house to train, and it was only places approved by my father. I had tutors to teach me, or I did since technically I already passed high school, or a homeschool version of it anyway. I had no friends, just subjects that I was only able to see in my father’s presence. He was very protective over me, hovering over me, keeping me close. “You’re my treasure, boy. My prize. My heir.” He growled at me. I stifled another sigh, nodding at him. I heard this all the time, over and over again.

The pause was too long and I knew he was expecting me to answer him this time. “Yes sir,” I said, lowering my eyes as he pushed my face upward.

He growled in my face, his body rumbling as he looked at me. I felt his finger press against my cheek, just under my eye, pressing down hard as if to cover it, or scrub it off. The mole under my right eye. Finally, he nodded, his anger dissipating. He stepped back, not that it did much, I still had to look up to see his face. “Your mother is waiting, dinner is ready.” I could practically hear his body humming, the thought of food made him happy, he was so single-minded. Then again, whenever a bear shifter shifted to a bear they were always hungry, an endless pit. They had to be careful not to stuff themselves too much, or they’d sleep for days afterward. I nodded at him and followed him out the door, looking back in my room at the scattered pieces of my guitar with a sigh. That was my favorite guitar so far. Oh well, looks like I’ll have to buy another one. Again.