Chapter 5: The New Normal
1239 Words
The first morning without fear felt strange.
No guards at the gate.
No checking my phone every five minutes.
No jumping when the doorbell rang.
Just quiet. Sunlight. And the smell of pancakes.
I was in the kitchen at 7am. Lily was helping me flip them. Leo was setting the table. The dog was underfoot begging for crumbs.
Damian walked in at 7:30. Hair messy. Shirt not tucked in. Coffee in his hand.
Morning, he said.
Morning, I said. I smiled. Really smiled.
He kissed my forehead. Right in front of the kids.
Lily saw. She grinned.
About time, she said.
Leo threw a pancake at his dad.
Damian caught it and ate it.
This is our life now, he said. Sitting down. Messy and loud and ours.
It is, I said.
Two weeks passed. Normal weeks.
School runs. Homework. Dinner at seven. Bedtime stories.
Damian started coming home at five. He left his phone in his office.
He helped with math. He braided Lily’s hair badly. He let Leo teach him basketball in the driveway.
One night he asked me to walk with him in the garden.
It was cold. Snow on the ground. But the sky was clear.
Do you regret it, he asked.
Regret what.
Coming back, he said.
No, I said. Not for one second.
Even with everything that happened.
Even with that, I said.
He stopped and pulled me into his arms.
I love you Elena, he said. I have loved you for five years.
I love you too, I said.
We kissed. Slow. Like we had all the time in the world.
January came. Lily had a school play. She was a tree. She had one line.
We are proud of you, Damian said after.
Leo made the basketball team. He scored four points in his first game.
Damian recorded the whole thing.
Claire’s birthday came. She turned eleven.
We had cake. Balloons. The twins blew out the candles with her.
That night Damian and I sat by the fire.
Do you think she would like this, he asked. Claire.
Yes, I said. I think she would be glad you are happy.
He nodded. He held my hand.
February was quiet. Snow. Books. Movies on the couch.
One night I got sick. Fever. 101.
Damian did not leave my side. He brought soup. He put a cold cloth on my head.
You do not have to do this, I said.
I want to, he said.
When I got better he took me out. Just us.
Dinner. A movie. Walking in the park.
People stared. Age gap. They always did.
Damian took my hand and held it tighter.
Let them look, he said.
In March we went to the cabin. The same one from five years ago.
The twins ran to the lake. Damian and I sat on the porch with coffee.
Remember the first time we came here, he asked.
Yes, I said. You were so angry.
I was scared, he said.
Of what.
Of you, he said. Of how much I wanted you.
I smiled.
I wanted you too, I said.
He pulled me onto his lap.
Elena, he said.
Yes.
Marry me, he said.
I stared at him.
What.
Marry me, he said again. Not because of the kids. Because I want to wake up next to you every day for the rest of my life.
Damian I am twenty seven. You are sixty seven.
I know, he said. Do you care.
No, I said. I do not care.
Then say yes.
Yes, I whispered. Yes.
He kissed me. The twins cheered from the lake.
Daddy asked Miss Elena to marry him, Lily yelled.
Yes, Damian yelled back.
We got married in April. Small. In the garden.
Just us. The twins. Mrs Delgado. A judge.
Lily threw flowers. Leo gave a speech.
We are a family now, he said.
We are, I said.
Damian cried when he said I do.
After the wedding we went to Paris for two weeks.
No guards. No cameras. No fear.
We walked by the Seine. We ate pastries. We slept late.
Damian looked younger. Happier.
When we came back the house was full again.
Mrs Delgado cried when she saw my ring.
About time, she said.
Summer came. Loud and bright.
We went to the beach. The twins learned to surf. I fell off every time.
Damian sat in a chair and watched us and looked like the proudest man alive.
Claire started asking questions. About babies.
Damian and I looked at each other.
Maybe, he said.
In August I found out I was pregnant.
Damian stared at the test for five minutes.
A baby, he said. Our baby.
Yes, I said.
He picked me up and spun me.
We are having a baby Elena.
I know, I said.
The pregnancy was hard. I was tired. I cried at commercials.
Damian did everything. He cooked. He rubbed my feet. He went to every appointment.
You are doing too much, I said.
No such thing, he said.
Our daughter was born in November. On a snowy day.
We named her Hope.
She had Damian’s nose and my mouth and Lily’s attitude.
Bringing her home was chaos. Lily wanted to dress her. Leo wanted to teach her basketball. Claire just wanted to hold her.
Damian sat in the chair and watched.
This is it, he said to me later. This is everything.
It is, I said.
The house was never quiet again. And we never wanted it to be.
When Hope turned one we had a party. Big.
Damian’s friends came. The twins’ friends came. Mrs Delgado made a cake that was too big.
Damian gave a speech.
Five years ago I thought I did not deserve happiness, he said. Then this woman came and she taught me it is never too late. To Elena. To my kids. To Hope. Thank you for choosing me.
We all cried.
Years kept going.
Lily graduated high school. She thanked her dad for teaching her to be strong and her stepmom for teaching her to be soft.
Leo got into college. Engineering. Like his dad.
Claire started middle school. She was smart and loud and she had Damian’s eyes.
Hope learned to talk and immediately used it to argue.
Damian turned seventy. We threw him a party. He complained and smiled the whole time.
I turned thirty. He bought me flowers every day for a month.
We were not young. We were not perfect. But we were ours.
One fall evening we were all in the kitchen. Lily was home from college. Leo was home for the weekend. Hope was making a mess.
Damian looked around the table.
What, he said when he saw me staring.
Nothing, I said. I am just happy.
Me too, he said.
Later that night we walked outside. Snow starting again.
Do you regret any of it, he asked.
The age gap. The scandal. The hard parts.
No, I said. Not one piece. Even the bad parts got us here.
He nodded.
I choose you, he said. Today. Tomorrow. Every day.
I choose you too, I said.
We stood in the snow. An old man and a young woman and a lifetime between them and no space left.
Inside you could hear laughter. The dog barking. Hope singing.
This is our life, Damian said.
It is, I said.
And it was good.
Chapter 5 End
- Writer
