Beyond

Chapter 7

The ringing is so loud it hurts my ears but I stumble out of bed trying to get my head straight. I swing the door open and I see people running. All in the same direction, so I follow. I try to stop someone to ask what is going on but everyone just brushes me off or doesn’t hear me. I finally see Ron, running against the crowd trying to reach me.

“What is going on?!?!?” I shout once he reaches me. But he doesn’t answer me but instead motions me to follow him. We run the same direction everyone is running and once we arrive we are in the main hall. Blaze and Levi are in the middle of the hall. Everyone is chattering. but all too suddenly, Blaze raises his hand and the hall falls silent.

“We have been attacked on the western border in Calay. There have been casualties. Our men fought bravely to protect the innocent but many lost their lives. We will have the list of the lost posted shortly. You may take whatever time you need to morn for your loved ones, we salute them." Blaze and Levi salute and everyone responded back with a salute. "Levi will be leaving with 10 of you to rescue the innocent civilians that have been affected. Once they reach the settlement, they will make contact with us and another group, that I will lead, will follow to help and retrieve everyone.” He stops for a moment, if he was sad I could not tell. “I called you all here to begin preparations to accept all these people. Some of you will have to give up living quarters. We will have to cut on food and supplies until we can obtain more. We will need to reach out to neighboring allies for food and supplies. I will be sending out units to collect these items. Your Lieutenant’s will command you on your duties here. These next couple of weeks will be difficult. These innocent families belonged to soldiers and will be wanted. You are all dismissed.” I run after Blaze who is swarmed by officials. Ron tries to stop me but I am quick and I find a way. I stand in front of him.

“Captain, I can help.” I say. His shock is evident but before he can say anything one of the other Lieutenant's speaks.

“Are you seriously asking? We don’t know who you really are. You cannot be trusted.” His words sting me. I know I have been here a short time but shouldn’t they still be kinder?

“Leo, watch your mouth!!” Levi shouts getting in the Lieutenants face. “If you ever speak to her like that again, there will be consequences.” There is pure anger in Levi’s voice and for a second I think he will hurt the lieutenant. I grab his arm and he looks at me. His eyes soften as they set on me but anger still remains. He takes one last look at Leo, taking my hand and leading me away. The silence only lasts for a second before I hear Blaze bring everyone’s attention back. I feel hurt, he didn’t even care, but I shouldn’t care I have only known him for a couple days.

Levi is walking fast and with every step he takes, he squeezes my hand harder. I reach my limit.

“Levi, slow down. Please stop, you are hurting me.” He stops and turns to face me his face vexed with anger. Something about this situation feels familiar but something is different.

“How could he!! I will destroy him!” I put a hand on his shoulder but he pushes it off and walks away. Levi just protected me, but why do I feel more resentment towards him than Blaze?

I feel a hand on my shoulder. It’s Blaze.

“I am sorry, I should have said something.” Guilt seizing his expression. I remember my dream about when the little boy Blaze squeezed the little girl's hand to hard and he kissed her hand lovingly, fear of hurting her. Levi wasn't like this, anger consumed him.

“It’s okay,” I say placing a hand on his face, an action that surprised the both of us. I quickly begin to take my hand back but he captures it in his own, I feel flushed. A familiar feeling lingering in my chest. I continue, “I know that you didn’t want things to escalate, and you wanted me to look strong, not like a weak girl.”

“I am sorry I couldn’t protect you like I used to.” He sees my confused look. “Another time.” He squeezes my hand and let’s go, reminding me he was still holding it. With his hand gone it feels cold.

“I will see you later.” He smiles and my heart flutters. Why do I have these feelings?

* * * * * * *

It’s been a month since Blaze has properly talked to me or seen me. We pass in the halls but he barely looks at me. He comes to give commands and that is it. Levi has been gone the entire month on the mission. Somehow I worry for him and how we left things last when he walked away. I didn't see him the rest of that day and the day after he was gone. He didn't even say goodbye. I miss his humor and the way he always lights up the room with laughter, and with Blaze ignoring me I find I miss Levi more and more. I have been settling in, but I do not feel that everyone likes me just yet. Oddly things have been rather quiet. I worry about that too, the calm before the storm.

Ron comes in while I am cleaning the last of the weapons. He has been a little lenient with me allowing me to train with the other and even train other students. I am very excited when I teach.

All month I have been writing letter to Blaze to take me on the mission with them. I wanted to help. I felt compelled to help, but to no avail, he has not responded.

Ron seems on edge. His face is difficult to read, something is wrong.

“You better sit.” I sit anxious. “So I spoke to Captain Blaze.” He keeps pausing and it’s making me more anxious.

“Ron, please get on with it.” I sit jittery. Blaze's name also sending me chills down my back. I often sit at night and remember the last time we spoke and how he held my hand. My memories have been coming back and I have been remembering a lot but not all is clear. I know one thing, me and Blaze spent a lot of time together, and we were inseparable.

“Commander Blaze has transferred you to distribution.” He gave me the paper that had the order written on it. It was signed by Blaze. Ron knows I am one of the best fighters here. I had been waiting for a month to be place on the mission to go with him. I thought he trusted me. Frustration hits me like a wave.

“Ariella, don’t do anything irrational.” Ron puts a hand on my shoulder hoping to try and calm me down but instead I want to punch Ron for trying to stop me but I do not out of respect and my hand would break...literally.

“Ron, I am asking you nicely to get off me.”

“Ariella..” I remove his hand from my shoulder.

“Levi’s team is missing.” he says softly, stopping me in my tracks. I will not stand for this, how could Blaze not tell me? Levi is my friend, I have a right to know. I get up to find answers.

“Ariella!!” He calls after me but I storm off in the direction of Blaze’s office. Once I am there I do not wait or knock but I open the door.

“I NEED TO TALK TO YOU, NOW!”

“Ariella, I am in the middle of a meeting we can speak after I am done.” and he looked down at his papers again talking to a couple of other agents.

I slammed the paper on the table so that everyone could see, he looked up with what looked like anger but he was trying to hide it.

“You will make time” everyone was looking at me. The agents look surprised but Blaze had a stone hard look on his face, no doubt yelling at me in his head. He was mad and I was glad to have finally caught his attention after a month. He had made me mad with anger. Which makes me crazy! Because no one can be mad with anger, I don’t think that is even a thing, but it was his fault. He left things weird between us. He made me feel like he cared only to drop off the face of the earth. I wasn’t expecting him to tell me he loved me or something I knew he was my Captain and I barely knew him but come on, could he have at least been friendly this last month? I had no idea who I was and Levi had left. I was alone.

He dismissed everyone and called me to his office not looking back to see if I was following or not I entered his office after him. There were no windows and there was a small desk, something old, which I had not seen in a while. It was made of wood. There were papers stacked on the table and only one item on the desk which was a picture frame. Pictures were rare now. These were things of the past. He had similar taste to mine. He closed the door and turned his towards me. I could see he was rubbing his temples. I began to feel bad for acting the way I did, but I would stand my ground. I did not give up that easily.

“Blaze, you have made my last month extremely difficult. You barely see me, ignore my requests to go with you for the mission. We both know I am more than capable of going. You held my hand and I remember a lot now. You weren’t like this when we were children, you lo.. ” before I could say anything else his mouth was on mine. His lips were warm and soft. My lips parted and we kissed, all the anger falling away. He hands caressed my face gentling sliding down to my waste. I slowly and cautiously wrapped my hands around him afraid that any sudden movement would making him pull away from me. But when he looked at me, I knew this kiss was not spontaneous but true. He looked like he was finally freed. His eyes were filled with… love. He touched my face one more time and then turned away from me. My body noting his absence and begging to return to his embrace.

"I cannot stop thinking about you Ariella. I didn't want to cloud you mind. I wanted you to be free of burden. But I cannot stop myself. I searched and waited for you until I found you. I missed you everyday. I wanted you by my side. I wanted to kiss you and hold you tight. I hated myself for losing you." He turns to me and takes me into this arms again and holds me. It feels so right. I fit into this embrace like a puzzle. It feels like piece of me, which was missing, was put into place now. All my feelings of doubt gone. He pulls away enough to see my face.

“I cannot take you on the mission. Levi made me promise I wouldn’t, no matter what.” he wouldn’t turn around. I still felt light-headed from that kiss. I gently and cautiously placed my hand on his face. He rubbed his face against my palm. He looked up worry on his face.

“Please, Ariella, do not ask again.”

“Why are you so intent on keeping me out of this war? You know I will have to fight it too.”

“When we go on this mission,” His eyes were soft now. “I can’t protect you. If something happens to you.. again. I will never forgive myself. I just got you back, I can’t lose you again.” He placed his head on my shoulder and calmly glide my fingers through his hair, remembering it calmed him.

“You remember." he says into my shoulder his breath on my neck giving my chills. We stay like that for a moment savoring it. He lifts his head from my shoulder and takes my face into his hands memorizing my features.

"I know this may all be sudden to you but I remember everything like it was yesterday. How we grew up, how we were best friends, how I loved and…” he paused “love you.” another pause, “and how I lost you.” his eyes filled with pain, his hand leave my face bu trail down my arm and take my hand. “I do not expect you to love me. I do not expect anything because you are still missing pieces of our time together." He seems nervous. " I want you to make your own choice. No a choice given to you because of a pas you do not remember. What I need is for you is to stay safe. I need to know you are safe.” and with that he left the room not looking back. I couldn’t seem to move. There was so much said and unsaid in one moment. I felt unsure of so many things. But I was sure that I cared for Blaze, a lot.