War Between Worlds

Star Gazing

Our ride home was quiet and awkward. After our little….talk, we got in the car and drove home. We entered the house and I went straight upstairs into my room. Putting as much space between us. The feelings of electricity our kiss still hanging in the air. I leaned back on the door and let it help me stay standing. What have I done? This one mistake will ruin our friendship. I slid down the door, letting my legs give up on me. I stop myself from thinking too deeply about these things. I can’t continue overthinking things because one day it'll be my undoing. I don’t want to keep thinking of him, there are important things that need some more explaining. My mother’s warning played in my head about what would take place in the coming weeks. She didn’t really explain anything, so I really didn't know what was to come.

Sometimes, in the chaos of everything, I still think about them, my parents. Everybody dies. It's not a surprise. In small glimpses, I find myself thinking about the life I once had, the one I cant get back even if I tried. Every time I think of them, it tears me to pieces and someday I hope to make it out of this dark place.

After I found the courage to get up, I find myself in front of my bathroom mirror, poking and podding my bandages, while my tub filled to the brim with water. I slowly undid them and turned my back facing the mirror to see the damage on my back, but before I could fully turn, the excruciating pain I had felt that morning had returned. My vision becomes blurry and staticky. The pain and the temperature of my body increase. Gripping the edge of the tub, I tried to focus on something other than the agonizing pain in my back. I tried my best to take all of my clothes off and submerged my body in the water. After a few moments of trying to regulate my breathing, I looked into the water, finding it marbled with blood.

Looking into the bloody water, I zoned in on the illumination of a small light coming from inside me, running through my veins. The more I stared and followed, it became closer. It glides up my breast to my collar bone, down my shoulders to my wrists, then encircles my finger tips. As I feel the fragments of light touch my back, my grip latched onto the tub's rim tightens. The pressure was becoming absolutely unbearable. My vision becomes bright and untrusting. The only sense that I could trust was my hearing. All my other senses were either too overwhelming or had shut down entirely. The sounds of my screams would have caught me by surprise, but before I was able to unleash the agonizing turmoil that I was under, everything came to a stop.

The pounding in my head, my screams, the pain, and the air even stilled. In one thrust, the pressure on my back releases and weightless objects settle on my shoulders and the water becomes transparent once again, like it had not been stained with my agony. The light on my arms and chest began to fade, everything becoming as it once was. With something gleaming blue catching my eye on the side of my vision, I turned and spotted a……. Wing? What the living f**k!!

I stand in front of the mirror once again, but instead of staring at my reconstructed face, I’m staring at extensions to my shoulder blades. The purity of them made me believe that they weren't a part of me. Instead of the usual white colour that people are portrayed as thinking of angel wings, my wings were teal. The longer I stared at them, I came to realize they were becoming transparent. Like light shining through and over, gliding over my wings. They were truly beautiful. I marveled at the fact that these beautiful extensions were even real, but as I thought about them, I started to think about everyone else seeing them.

The more I thought about anyone finding out, the more my wings shrunk. At the end of my mini freak out, my wings had folded themselves onto my back and hugged my waist, creating tattoos of my wings and an inscription of words. These words were not inscribed in English but in another language.

”ο άγγελος των ονείρων μου με βοηθάει να με προστατεύω από τους εχθρούς μου”

While staring intensively at the masterpiece that was now embroidered on my back, I heard the door to my room open and shut.

Rushing to clean the mess that I had made in the bathroom and carefully putting on clothes, I made a run for my bed and gave all my attention to the train-wreck who was walking into my room. For the rest of the night, I looked after Lily till she was knocked out on my bed.

As the birds start to wake up and the world starts to wake up, I feel Lily get out of bed and hear the bathroom door shut. The memories of yesterday flood my brain and I can't hold it back from Lily. I had to tell her.

“I kissed him.” The moment Lily came into the room, I told her everything that happened between me and Chris. I felt extremely anxious about keeping this important moment from her.

“It was going to happen sooner or later. I'm just surprised that you kissed him.” She dropped all the products she was holding into her morning bag and sat down next to me on the bed.

“And I know what you're thinking- I’ve ruined our friendship. We will never be the same again, ect- but that's not true. We have been friends for years now. You've been friends with him your entire life, so, of course, there's going to be some feelings there. “

Times like these remind me of who Lily is in my life. Even though she seems like the party girl and the adventurous girl in our small group, she has her moments where she's also the mother of the group.

“Why don't we go out tonight, get out of your head for a while”, she gets up and starts to rummage through the bags she brought back and pulled out a mini skirt and a cute top. Going out sounded like a great idea. I had a number of shitty things in my head that I didn't know the answers to, didn't want to think about, or made my head hurt. I got up and took them with me to the bathroom.

~.~

Whoever throws these parties on Tuesday nights should be congratulated and put in jail, because how are we supposed to go to school the next day with heavy ass hangovers?

Sighing, I shoved past the crowd eyeing Lily who was grinding with Kayle, one of her many friends, on the dance floor. I still had to think of a way to tell her about the wings that are meant to sprout on my back in a couple of days, but I didn't want to think about that. I walked to the garage where the pot circles were and smoked a few blunts.

The height slowed my world down, then sped up, then slowed down again. Definitely a trip.

Everyone was caught in their own world, everyone seeming just as stupid as the last...speaking of stupid, Chris was in the corner of the main room nursing a bottle of water and eyeing everything and everyone in the room. The feelings of our kiss still hung in the air. Electricity licked every inch of my body whenever his eyes met mine .

I made my way back to the garage again and sat next to a guy with a blunt in his hands. “Can I have that?”

He nodded and handed it over to me. Taking a couple of drags, I handed it over and watched his eyes linger on my lips.

“Keep dreaming sunshine.” I said, calmly walking to the backyard to get some fresh air, something that couldn't possibly exist in those walls of the garage. People sat around the fire pit outside laughing and making out, a ping reminding myself of what happened and what I might have risked losing. I walked past everyone and through the tree lines, walking till I reached a small river-looking stream and lay down. I rested my back on the grass and looked up at the stars.

As I looked at the stars, my high mind wouldn't let me escape the problems that roamed it. I felt my eyes water and a tear slipped. Stupid traitors tears.

“A beautiful girl like you shouldn’t be crying….” I lifted my head and saw the same guy from the forest leaning on one of the distant trees that surrounded the stream. Dark raven hair and pale skin, those piercing green eyes that can see into the black depths of your soul and uncover everything.

“Who are you and what do you want from me? Are you following me?” I didn't even get up from my place on the grass, I didn't have the energy to even keep my head up. I felt the breeze around us slow down, making the trees stand eerily still. All that could be heard was the water of the stream rushing down hill and the faded sound of music coming from the backyard. I didn't hear when he moved, but when I turned my head to my left he was lying on his side and resting his head on his hand. “That's an answer for another day.” He then lowered his head to rest on the grass and turned his body to look up at the stars.

“ Something's bothering you,” he sighed.

“Well thank you captain-obvious, why else would I be high off my ass and lying in the middle of the forest looking at the stars while crying my eyes out.” I heard him chuckle. The sound was warm and full, like an apple pie on an autumn afternoon.

“Want to talk about it?” I felt him turning next to me, so I looked to find him lying on his side again, shifting his attention from the stars to me. His eyes had a glow in them. Even though it was pretty dark, I could see the tiny specks in his eyes shifting and moving fiercely. I felt overwhelmed with such emotions, like trust and security, when I looked at him. I felt deep inside me I knew him, I felt strange because if I had met him before this afternoon I wouldn't have forgotten him. He wasn’t the type of person you would forget. Another issue on my growing list.

“My life has gone to s**t,” I sighed. I turned to look at the stars. “My parents are dead. I might have ruined my friendship with one of the most important people in my life. I might have sprouted wings. I have no answers to anything that's happening to me and I’m all alone.” I let out a deep breath, laughed softly and let my shoulders relax. It felt good letting all that out even though it was to a complete stranger and I was high ass f**k, it had been weighing heavily on me these past days.

I felt the lightest warm touch on the side of my head as he tucked a few strands of hair behind my ear. “You're not alone.” he said as he cupped my face in his hand. After a few moments, he pulled his hand back and turned his attention back to the stars, “You have your friends and, if you want, you have me.” I looked back up at the stars and sighed.

“You know, you haven't told me who you are yet and why you’re following me”, I focused on the vibration of the faded music under my fingers.

“You can call me Asher, or maybe your guardian angel.” I laughed.

“Are you making fun of me?” I felt him face me again.

“Look at me,” I turned and faced him, “I would never make fun of you”. He looked at me with such intensity that it stole my breath away.

“I’d probably tease you, but never make fun of you.”

Deep down I knew he wouldn't lie to me.