Chapter one: Jaxon’s POV
1178 Words
Since my father died three days ago, things have not been the same. My knees have grown weaker, the house sadder, and everything about life tiring. No, I couldn’t continue this way anymore. I have to get rid of this kind of life.
I swallowed myself into my bed, the hem of the duvet gathering in my sweaty palms. So this was what life could offer – losses. First, it was my kid brother, then my mother, and now my father. Perhaps it’s me next. Who knows? How are they? I’m sure they’re all together, happy and, at the same time, sad that I’m not present with them.
How could I explain that I want to be with them, too? I miss them. It was obvious I was alone in this world. No one was going to help or save me. I was all on my own now.
The press, on the other hand, doesn’t get a s**t about all these. They feel one is supposed to be happy all the time. They feel like I’m no human and my father’s death wasn’t something dishoarding to me.
I knew it was high time I got over this feeling of grief, but it’s hard. Damn hard. Everybody expects me to be a man, own up to my loss and get back to work without a flinch as if something insignificant had happened. That was what they made this feel like.
Fuck ‘me... could my life be worse than this? I guess not. This was my greatest fear and now, here it is, attacking me right in the face. Now I get that saying – what you fear the most is what will come to you.
Losing everyone around me was my greatest fear; now, here I am. What else is left in this world then?
I wish I had spent more time with him. I wish we had had that one quiet time together on the mountain peak and talked about life, our experiences, joys, sadness…but we never got to do that.
The sad fact was that he had always made the time, but I was the reluctant and work-obsessed kind who didn’t pay attention to him.
I should have done better.
That was okay. Enough overthinking now.
I got up, took my towel into the bathroom, and took a cold shower. It eased me a bit, but it was not compared to the amount of sadness I wanted to be relieved of. Not even close. I just stood there, standing like a tree in the woods under the running water, wondering how I would move forward.
I turned it off, making my way back into the room, getting dressed for work. Cause that was the only thing that could ease my burden. No, it’ll just help in making me forget all about it.
Having dressed in an all-white suit since we were still mourning Father, I headed downstairs; my Stepmom and stepbrother were sitting in the living room, in white, too.
“Brother…” it was Steve, my stepbrother. His hands wrapped around me. “Dad is gone.” He said.
I tightened my throat, trying not to let his words get to me. I swallowed hard, trying to hide back the welled tears in my eyes. It failed.
I wiped out the tears from my cheek. I wrapped my hand around him, too. “It’s okay. We’re men. We shouldn’t be holding unto this for too long.”
“To hell with that. Our father is late and you’re saying this?” Steve snapped. That was exactly how I didn’t want to feel, now I’m making someone else feel that way…
"I am sorry, brother. You are right." I apologized.
I shifted my eyes to see my stepmother on her phone, doom scrolling. Suddenly, she laughed hard, her hand stumping on the arm of the couch.
Unbelievable. Her supposed husband had just died and she had the balls to scroll on her phone? What? I tried to turn a blind eye to her, yet she laughed hard once more.
“Steve, I’ll have to go.” I patted his back.
“What? Go where?”
“The company needs me.”
“For crying out loud, Dad just died and you want to go right to work? What’s that supposed to mean? You don’t care that you lost dad, huh?”
How would he understand anything when he’s just nineteen? He’s not expected to be emotionally intelligent.
How could I explain to him that this was a way to guide myself from overthinking things?
“I just need to work, Steve. The company needs someone to overlook it, or else things will fall apart, and that’s the end of us. You get it?”
“No, I don’t. A day off wouldn’t automatically bring down the company. We have competent staff and managers to handle the company. Why else do you need to be at the company? You could go months without being in the company and everything would be fine. Why would you want to go? Ha, I get it. Perhaps you never cared about dad-“
“Be quiet,” I said sharply. That was the last thing I wanted to hear especially when I was battling with the thought of it.
I’ve lived every single minute blaming myself that I didn’t spend more time with him and he’s here making matters worse.
“I’m sorry, Steve,” I said, leaving no room for any form of communication or confrontation as I took my leave. I got into my car as the driver opened the door and I went in.
Suddenly, my eyes caught Mr. Alex, our family lawyer, and a bosom friend to my late father, entering into the house. What was he doing here? Yes, he’s yet to read his father’s will and he hadn’t booked an appointment with the house about it. Where was he going then?
There must be something behind it, but that could be laid aside. More important things should get my attention, not some lawyer going into the house without an appointment.
“Drive,” I told the driver as he drove off. My mind kept drawing back to that same lawyer. It was strange. Unusual. On a normal ground, he places a meeting and informs everyone, but today was different. Besides, his walking steps seemed suspicious.
I felt a tug at my chest.
No, I wouldn’t just wrestle with my doubt and have this white-and-black thinking. I was going to know what the hell was going on.
“Go back home,” I said to the chauffeur.
“Sir?” he asked.
“You heard me.” The chauffeur took a turn, returning home.
I stepped out of the car and headed toward the house I saw my stepmother, handing a brown envelope to the lawyer.
Don’t tell me that’s a bribe.
They were discussing, but their words were inaudible. Suddenly, Mary, my stepmother pulled Mr. Alex into a hug.
What the hell was this about?
- Writer
