6th May, 2013A press conference was called. Sid Chesterton and Maury Git’a faced the frenzied pack-of-hungry-wolf-like press.
TABLOID JOURNALIST: Sid, why are you selling now?
SID: For the benefit of club. Only so far I can take it.
TABLOID JOURNALIST: You’ve owned the club for years, you’re Shyton born and bred, why not stay now that they’re in the Premier League?
MAURY: I believe he’s already answered that question. For Shyton United to move forward the club needs massive investment, how else will they compete with the super-rich, allegedly FFP-flouting clubs of Manchester City and Chelsea? Sid has done a marvellous job to get us this far.
SID: It’s time someone else took reins.
TABLOID JOURNALIST: Who is the new owner?
MAURY: That’ll be announced in due course.
JOE MEEK: How could you, Sid! You’re meant to be one of us! You’ve sold us out!
A bunch of burly security men then led Joe Meek, the Twitterer—a Michelin Man lookalike with steak & kidney pie stain on his Shyton United top—out of Creek Alley’s conference room.
From the Twitter account of @JoeMeek: ‘Cant believe Sid sold club. #Traitor! New Owner wont know the meaning of being a fudge packer. #SellOut #DarkDays #FPL’