22nd May, 2013
250 Words
22nd May, 2013I happened to be in Maury’s office waiting to interview him as he chatted on his mobile. I noticed that he continually shifted uncomfortably, looked uneasy and had the air of corruption all about him. He looked shiftier than one of the tradesmen Del Boy would no doubt do business with.
MAURY: Not over the phone!
Maury slammed down the phone and smiled at me. What was he hiding? At that moment Tommy burst through the door like a trapped fart finally escaping the clutches of Johnny Vegas. He didn’t look happy… Tommy, not that tiresome Johnny Vegas.
MAURY: Tommy! Our star player!
TOMMY: Exactly! Cos of me we’re in the Premier League. I want what’s due.
MAURY: And you have security for twenty years!
TOMMY: I live on a f*****g council estate!
MAURY: Which endears you to the fans even more! Makes you one of them. We need that connect.
TOMMY: I am one of them. I’m their neighbour!
MAURY: Tommy, you’re the soul of this club. You can’t put a price on that. Some things are worth more than money.
Maury’s mobile rang again and he briskly got up and left his office.
Tommy sat down and rubbed his face, then turned to me. He was most definitely not a happy chappie.
TOMMY: I’m gonna add him to the sods-to-nut list.
Tommy then got out his mobile and started typing.
STANLEY: What are you typing?
TOMMY: Just said. I’m adding that f*****g Maury to my sods-to-nut list.
I tried to check to make sure my name wasn’t on there. Couldn’t see it.
- Writer
