17th August, 2013It’s the first game of the season away to Sunderland and the team was in the changing room in their Shyton United kit. They all looked remarkably well and seemed back to pre-pre-season tour physique. ‘Special’ Juan Lopez gave the team one last talk. He had a 4-1-3-2 formation up on a whiteboard and made thrusting motions towards it with his hips. The s****l deviant.
Tommy flicked through a Spanish-English dictionary. I was impressed. I didn’t know Tommy could even read in English. Bombinho meanwhile sobbed like a little girl, which made Tommy start growling at him.
JUAN: I want you to penetrate their box again and again like you’re on a meter with a prostitute. Ricardo, slip inside, feel around, and shoot. Everybody, shoot. Shoot everywhere!
BEN: May the force be with y
