Florescence

Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Two days ago, Mahing told me that she’ll be living in the US. For good. Pagkatapos ng emosiyonal na senaryo naming dalawa, agad ko siyang pinilit na puntahan at bisitahin ang mommy niya. She didn’t want me to see her mother weak and vulnerable. But I know I must. If they were truly leaving, then I should also bid my goodbye to Tita Nila.

“I would never think your mother as someone who is weak and vulnerable, Mahing.” Umiling siya saka bumuntong hininga.

“I know. I’m sorry,” she said wearily.

Nasa harapan na kami ng pinto ng kwarto ni Tita. She was bedridden now that they planning to leave for US. Nanginginig na inangat ni Mahing ang kamay niya para buksan ang pinto. I looked at her. She was breathing in and out continuously.

“Ako na,” sabi ko at ako ang nagbukas ng pinto. Bumungad sa amin ang kwarto ni Tita Nila.

A big red lamp was lit, just enough to give light to the side of the room, where Tita was. She was laying down on her queen-sized bed, filled with pillows to give comfort to her. Napansin ko ang mga nakadikit na posters at litrato sa dingding, just by the left side of Tita’s bed.

Hindi maiwasang mamuo ng luha ang aking mga mata dahil sa kalagayan ni Tita ngayon. There were things attached to her hands. I usually see those in the movies. Mahing usually invites me for a movie marathon here in their house. Kaya familiar ako sa mga ito, lalong lalo na sa mga may sakit o na disgrasya sa pelikula.

I could hear Mahing’s light sobs on my side, but my eyes were glued on Tita. Kung hindi ko alam na may sakit siya, I wouldn’t recognize her right away because of her condition now. Life seemed to be fading in her. She looked so thin and exhausted.

Mistiza si Tita, isang katangian na namana ni Mahing sa kanya. But now, her color was so pale, that I could barely believe that there still blood flowing within her.

I took a deep breath and walked towards Tita.

May upuan sa gilid ng kama at doon ako unti-unting umupo.

Napalunok ako habang pinagmamasdan siya. Her shallow breaths were difficult to observe. Hindi ako makapaniwala na nasa ganitong kalagayan siya.

“Tita,” I called her gently. Hinawakan ko ang kamay niya, at kasabay nito ang pagtulo ng aking luha.

“Si Malaya po ito.” Nakita ko ang bahaygang paghigpit ng hawak niya sa akin. Her head tilted slightly towards me, and I could see how she tried to open her eyes just to see me.

Tita showed me her weak smile. Nanginig ang mga labi ko para lang suklian ang kanyang ngiti.

“Sabi ni Mahing, aalis daw po kayo.”

She nodded slowly, and I could see that there were tears slowly escaping from her eyes. “Yes, anak.” Matamlay ang boses niya pero ramdam ko ang init nito sa aking puso.

“C-Can you stay… Can you stay strong for us? P-Please?” I never realize that breathing can be this difficult. I inhale deeply, as I renew my grip to her vulnerable hands.

“Please, Tita. Promise me you would fight it.”

Napahagulgol si Mahing, at agad pumunta sa kabilang gilid ni Tita. She dropped her head beside Tita’s, and let all her anxiety, longing, and pain get out.

“Promise me you’ll come back here healthy and smiling again. Please p-po.”

I raised her hands and gave them a light kiss as my tears keep on falling, blurring my vision. “We need you, Tita.”

She was one of the strongest persons I ever know, especially when her husband died. I saw her tried her best to fill the role that her husband can no longer fulfill for their daughter. I have my dad, but I saw through their eyes how losing someone you truly committed to be with in your life feels like a never-ending stab of knife in your heart.

Tita Nila endured it all so Mahing can be spared from that kind of pain.

Her love was what made her strong for so long, and I hoped this would also help her get through the pain she’s suffering with right now.

My mom and Tita Nila grew up in this village together, and just like me and Mahing, they were best friends ever since. Reaching the news to my mom would be devastating to her. Noong nalaman ko na may sakit si Tita at aalis sila, parang may pumunit sa aking puso. What more if my mom knew.

I would never think that this might happen. I’ve always imagined my life with Mahing and her mom in it. Na hanggang sa pagtapos ng kolehiyo at sa kanya kanyang kasal naming ni Mahing, I’ve always expected that we will be there with each other. Hence, our promise.

“Mahing, you know my address. Pagdating niyo doon, you should send me a letter, so I can know yours.” I looked at her reflection with wide eyes. Then I reached for her scrunchie on my vanity table and tied the left part of her braided hair.

Inayos ko ang kabilang parte ng kanyong buhok. I made sure that her braids were perfectly identical to look satisfying. Inangat ko ang tingin ko sa kanyang repleksyion sa salamin. I furrowed my brows when I saw her teary eyes. Suminglot siya saka ngumoso.

“Stop crying, Mahing.”

Suminglot siya ulit saka pinalis ang kanyang luha.

“I can’t believe I will never see you again.”

Huminga ako nang malalim dahil sa sinabi niya. I pull a chair and put it beside her. Umupo ako at binalingan siya. This time I’m faced her directly, and not through the mirror.

“You’re leaving, yes. But it doesn’t mean I will never see you again.”

Humikbi siya na ikinagulat ko. What? I am trying to comfort her, and I am saying the truth! We will see each other again. Imposible na hindi kami magkikita kahit kalian!

“But you’re poor. Paano mo ako bibisitahin sa US?” nakanguso niya sambit.

Nanlaki naman ang mga mata ko saka napahilamos dahil hindi ako makapaniwala dahil sa sinabi niya.

“Bakit kasi ako ang bibisita? Kayo naman yung may kamag-anak na mayaman kaya… Kaya dapat ikaw ang bibisita!”

“How?! I can’t leave mommy!”

Napatigil ako, at hindi makasagot. She sensed my silence, kaya mas lalo siyang umiyak.

I bit my lip and watched her cry. “Malaya, I can’t hug you anymore!” she said, and suddenly pulled me for a hug. Humikbi siya sa balikat ko, at ramdam ko ang pagbasa nito dahil sa kanyang mga luha.

I hugged her back and my eyes stung because tears were welling up. I sneaked my face in between her head and her shoulder, and we both cried together.

“I will miss you,” I said like it was the only thing I could ever tell her right now.

Just like that, Mahing and her mom went to the Manila International Airport. Mommy wanted to convince them to just stay here, but we all know that letting them go is for the best. Just like what Mahing said, we’re poor. Not entirely, but not financially able to help them with their needs or fly to US just to visit them.

“I can’t believe they are gone.” I closed my eyes as I savored the gentleness of my mom’s caress. My head was laying on her lap, and we were both waiting for dad to come home from the farm.

It had been three days since Mahing and her mom went abroad, but it felt three years already. Like what I said to Mahing to do, when they got there, she sent a letter to me telling me how she misses home.

“Have faith anak. Makikita rin natin sila balang araw.” I held with my mother’s words, and the hope that Tita Nila will keep her promise.

Mahirap na ang mga taong kasama mo buong buhay mo ay biglang hindi mo makikita; hindi mo mahahagkan. Kahit madalas kaming nag-uusap ni Mahing sa pamamagitan nang pagsusulat, I know that deep inside, the longing to see them both beside me, to feel their warmth and to hear their laughs, was so immense that it felt like a big part of my life had been taken away, and I needed it back. I needed them both back here, happy. So I could live again. So we can all be here like we used to.

April 4, 1985

‘Dear Malaya,

Mommy is doing her best at her therapy, and I am also doing my best to take care of her. Don’t worry, I am taking care of myself as well. I hope you’re all okay there. I miss you guys so much, that sometimes I dream of the lake, the valley, my bike, and all of you. I love you and see you soon!

Love,

Mahalia

‘Dear Mahing,

Don’t worry about us here. The whole village is doing fine; we need to. Para naman pagbalik niyo eh maayos pa rin ang lahat dito. Your bike is taken care of. Hello? Have you ever met me?

Kidding aside, just focus on feeling better, okay? Both of you. I miss you, and I love you.

Love,

Malaya’

Mahing and I have been constantly exchanging letters, and there was no moment that goes by without us knowing what happened to each other’s day.

“Malaya, can you reach the tong for me anak?” Naudlot ang pagsusulat ko ng mensahe kay Mahing. I look at my mom who was busy cooking my favorite fried chicken. Nakaupo ako sa dining table namin, kung saan malapit lang ang tong na nakasabit. I put down my quill in the ink bottle and stand up to reach the tong. Agad naman akong naglakad patungo kay mommy para ibigay sa kanya ito.

“Mom, should I be the one to fry it instead?” sabi ko habang inilalahad sa kanya ang tong.

Ngumiti siya habang nakatuon ang pansin sa pag-mamarinate ng manok. “Huwag na anak. Ako na. Birthday mo ngayon kaya gusto ko ako lahat ang magluluto sa mga ihahanda sa kaarawan mo.”

She put down the last chicken she was coating in the bowl, and faced me with bright smile. Hindi ko naman maiwasang ngumiti pabalik sa kanya. It had been a year since her best friend left to fight a cancer, and seeing her smile genuinely was such a relief. Kahit wala kami sa tabi nina Mahing, I know that trying to stay strong and living our lives despite everything was a big help to them already.

Kaya kahit mahirap, kahit miss na miss ko na sila, I still tried to seek silver lining in my life without their presence.

“Okay mom, but if you need my help. Just call me, okay?”

Tumango siya. “I will, but I know I wouldn’t be needing any help today, kasi pareho naman kayo ng ama mo na hindi marunong sa kusina.” She rolled her eyes at me playfully and chuckled.

Kung nandito lang si daddy baka kanina pa niya tinukso si mama sa pagtatanim. Both have their own strengths. Mom was good at everything, especially cooking, except planting. Dad on the other hand, was good at everything, especially planting, except cooking. They fulfill each other’s weaknesses, and I just find that weirdly special. Umiling ako habang nakangisi, saka bumalik sa mesa para ipagpatuloy ang sinusulat ko kanina para kay Mahing.

‘Dear Mahing,

It’s my 14th birthday, and my 1st birthday without you and Tita. Mom is cooking all my favorites. Gusto ko sanang tumulong kaso ayaw niya. Dad is busy with the farm, and he said he has a surprise for me. I am grateful that I have them. Truly. But for this day, I just wish for you and Tita to be okay so you can come home now and celebrate my birthday with me.’

“Malaya.” Natigil ako sa pagsusulat dahil sa pagtawag sa akin ni mommy.

“Bakit po?” I see her putting pieces of fried chicken and the other foods she cooked in a food container.

“Remember our new neighbors who moved in?” she asked.

Lito ko naman siyang pinagmasdan. I am aware that we have new neighbors. Nasa mismong gilid lang sila ng bahay nina Mahing.

“What about them?”

“I know that you want your birthday to be very intimate, kaya tayo-tayo lang ang nag-ce-celebrate.”

I remained looking at my mom, still confused to what shewas trying to say. Ngumiti siya nang mapakla at lumapit sa akin, bitbit ang food container.

“But we weren’t able to welcome our new neighbors properly when they got here yesterday.” She looked at the food container, then back at me.

“So, I was thinking—”

“—of inviting them? Here? For my birthday?” dugtong ko kay mommy.

“N-No. It’s not like that.” Agad siyang umiling, at hindi na makangiti

Ngumuso ako saka napatingin saglit sa naudlot na pagsusulat para kay Mahing.

“Then what is it mommy?”

Mommy exhales and gently smiles at me. “I just want you to give this food to them, anak. Just to welcome them here.”

I creaseed my brows and looked at my letter for Mahing. Tumikhim si mommy kaya napabalik ang tingin ko sa kanya. She was waiting for any response to me while handing me the food container.

“Okay po. I’ll give this to them after finishing this letter,” I said as I received the container from mom. Napahinga naman siya nang maluwag na ikinalito ko. Agad naman siyang tumalikod saka bumalik sa pagluluto.

I shook my head, and gently put the food container on the table. Then I continued writing my letter.

‘I almost forgot to mention it to you. Remember the haunted house between my house and yours? Well, guess what. We have new neighbors, and they are now living there! And just now, mom asked me to go there to give them food! Pray for my soul, Mahing.

Love,

Malaya’