Leapt Through Time To Save You

Norma's Secret

The cold dark room in my house devours me, the fantasy of having a home seems so far and nothing but dreams for me. My husband doesn't love me and I accepted that from a long time ago. My son Kersh, he somehow changed but still he doesn't give much time and attention to me, he's busy on his work. It is good but I wish for something else. I am his mother, how selfish I am to think this way. My daughter Jyna is always out this days. After her school she always to go somewhere, maybe she has a boyfriend.

Why am I always alone? All I ever wanted is to be loved. Is this because of what I did before? I guess I have care this burden. The sin that I made.

2 decades ago, I was living in Manila. That's when I first met Robert. He is a fine man with brilliant mind. There's a rumors of him, dating one woman after another.

I first met him when I was a freshman in University of Santo Tomas. He is a professor and handling the sophomore and junior. I often see him in the cafeteria. I was always curious, why women like him despite his rumors behind him. I asked myself, "Women these days has no delicacy when it comes to choosing a man, how on earth they fell in love with such a man?"

Robert is popular among the girls and boys but one thing is clear, he never dated his students, no matter how attractive they are. I learned it when I saw someone confess on him, and he rejected her.

Honestly, he is handsome and has an aura of a husband like character of a novel. He is so mature, from his clothes, to physique, and to his manner, even his voice, it is so mature. He looks so perfect but he plays with the hearts of women. "I will never ever going to fall in love with him." That's what I said to myself.

He never approached me even if we cross our path in the hallway. I'm actually confident with how beautiful I am. I don't know why but I want him to notice me. I guess it is my pride, well I am beautiful and smart woman after all. Most of the boys in the campus wanted to date me and I rejected them all, because I wanted him to notice me.

I just don't know when it happened but when I looked on the mirror in my room, and then realized that, "Why am I trying to make him notice me?!" Why indeed?

Ever since then, I can't stop thinking about him. 3 years, for 3 years since I enrolled, he never seem to notice me nor had an interest in me. This is so humiliating! I mean, I am one of the famous beautiful student in the campus, so how come that he doesn't know about me?

Am I not beautiful?! Does he think that I am ugly?! This is unforgivable! I'll make him pay no matter what happen, and I'll make sure that he will notice me. No! Not just notice, I will make him fall in love with me.

That was when I started why foolish plan, a.k.a. "Operation: Make Robert fell in love with me."

It was nothing but a simple and foolish plan. I did it to satisfy myself. I guess I am truly selfish, maybe that's the reason why my family doesn't want to live with me. They don't love me, aren't they?

One day, when I attend the mass in Santisimo Rosario Parish, which is in inside the campus, I saw him. It was Robert, and he is with someone. It was a beautiful woman, but seems younger than me.

I got jealous, how come that some young girl is with him? While I made a lot of effort just for him to notice me. This is so unfair!

After the mass, I followed them. They went in Intramuros and then I saw them entered a restaurant. It is the restaurant where I often eat with my classmates, "Barbara's". It is located in Plaza San Luis. Of all the places, why there?!

I also went in, I saw them immediately taking orders. This is unbelievable, I always wish to dine with him in this restaurant. It should be our first date. Looks like all my effort was for nothing or so I thought. The woman with her called him, "Brother". It appears that the woman is his younger sister! I gained strength when I heard it. I also took my order as I observe them.

One of the employee, my acquaintance, Jessa, asked me, "Why are you staring at them?"

"Nothing in particular, I just realized that guy is one of the professor in my campus, and he is dating a pretty woman with him. I guess the rumors about him, womanizing is true." I said. I'm just lying to gain some information from Jessa.

"Mr. Robert is a womanizer? How come?" She said.

"You know him?" I asked.

"He is a regular after all, I never heard that he is a womanizer, he never brought a woman here, except today but that girl is his sister." She said.

I was right! I heard it right! Yes, now I can still seduce him.

"Well rumors are rumors, I don't really know if he really did it or not. Maybe someone are just envy of him." I said.

After that I went back to my dorm to start my study as my preparation for the exam. Dolora, my dorm mate is late again. I guess she is drinking with some adult men. How come that girl still passes even when I never so her studying. Is she a secret genius?

That night, I didn't expect to see Robert. I just met him earlier but he is now in my room, carrying Dolora.

"What happened? Why are you both drunk?" I asked. Did this slut seduced my man? If this girl try to make love with him today I will surely stub her. Robert is drunk? This is an opportunity for me!

"No, I just saw her sleeping beside an electric post, then I searched for her I.D. so I could take her home." He said.

"I see but doesn't people would misunderstood you, if you just came in without notice or a word." I said.

"I don't mind, people know that I sleep with a lot of woman, adding one rumor is not a problem." He said.

"So the rumors about you as womanizer is true?" I said.

"Womanizer? I don't call it womanizer." He said.

"What do you mean?! Having s*x from one woman to another, isn't that what a womanizer does?" I said.

"Why are you so mad, are you my wife?" He said and casually laugh. He also added, "I never expected that you are quite a hot-blooded person. That's not what you look like in the school." He said.

"You know me?" I asked.

"Of course I know you, and just to answer your question earlier, I just accept their request. Honestly being a professor is my passion but I have a family. It might hard to believe but I prostitute myself with rich adult woman. I need the money for my mother. My father died, so I am the only who works in the family. My sister, the one you saw earlier, she's about to go to college. I have to work hard so I have enough money for her tuition." He said.

I couldn't believe what I heard.

"Why are you saying this?" I asked.

"No particular reason, maybe I really wanted someone to know my side. Not just from the rumors. I started this prostitution of mine when one of the mother of my students took an interest in me. She asked me if I could tutor her son. I accepted it, I need money after all, but then when I'm in their house, no one is in there but us, that's when she revealed what she wanted. She ask me for a good amount of money, I accepted it. How pity I am? We have debts and my mother have weak body, and she is hospitalized. I need money to make her alive." He said.

I felt miserable after hearing it, my heart soften for him, I hugged him and say, "Don't worry, I'm here. I will help you, it must be hard for you, and I bet you feel lonely."

"Thanks but don't worry, I can handle myself, beside, you're still a student, what can you do for me?" He said.

This is so embarrassing! Did I just confessed?! Did I just said that I have feelings for him? Don't worry, I'm here? I will help you? It must be hard for you? I bet you feel lonely?! Why did I say those things?! I am so embarrass! I hope I melt to the ground!

"Are you okay? You're blushing, I didn't meant to. Anyway I just brought your dorm mate so I'll be going. Thank you for listening." He said, and then he left.

I thought after that he will start to speak to me in the campus but he didn't. He didn't even nod or wave his hand, not a single notice.

After a month I heard a rumor of him having a girlfriend. Her name is Jolina, she has medium skin, 5'5 tall, and has a black hair. Typical Filipina look, a natural beauty.

I don't like this, I loved him for so long, and I should be his girlfriend. He just keep ignoring me. That's when I realized one thing.

He needs some money, I confronted him and asked him to have s*x with me in exchange of money.

He disapprove it because I am a student. I said that I am 18, I am in legal age so there is no problem, but he still refuse. Then I said if he didn't accept, I will tell his secret. If the administration learned about it, he will lose his job and reputation. No one will accept him, but he still refused.

I told it to the teachers I'm closed with, I destroyed his reputation. Because of that, he lose his job, and he lose his girlfriend.

I spoke to him again and offer him with double amount. I'm actually a daughter of a rich family. I took the money I save just for him. I'm so obsessed to have him.

He asked my reason and told him why. After that he accept the money, he needed it. But he didn't know that my plan is to make me pregnant. Every week I asked for him and he came to my dorm whenever Dolora is away. I became a slut who just wanted him.

And when I got pregnant, I immediately told it to my father. Robert didn't expected it he thought I have pills but I lied to him. I just bought it but never really drink any of it.

My mother made sure that we get married before my belly grow bigger. He wanted to refuse but I said to him that my parents can help your mother. Both of my parents are doctor. I came study in UST to also become a doctor.

After we got married, I said to my mother that we need to relocate. People will start a rumor, so it better to live somewhere. Robert suggested to live in Leyte, his province. My father accepted it, I asked him to buy us a house. Everything is perfect, my plan succeeded. I've become the wife of Robert Laurel. I am now Norma Laurel.

But those happy ending is not really the ending. When we came to Leyte, Robert started to get cold. He became a different person. He always came late from the new school he work in.

Even when Kersh came to the world he is still not talking to me but man is man, when he is in heat, he surely come to me, and I love it, those are the moment when I felt needed. I studied about making love and s*x, I become so good at it that he will surely come to me. In the first 2 years, Robert was so happy. He somehow accepted our situation, then after a year, I got pregnant for Jyna.

I thought we will become a happy family but he just love our children, he still never loved me. He just uses me for his needs, I didn't mind it. It was what I wanted, and somehow it satisfy me.

Luckily his mother got cured and gained strength. His sister studies were supported by my parents, they didn't mind it because Regina is a smart woman. She became a doctor unlike me.

I thought if we live together, and if I try my best, Robert will love me from the bottom of his heart. But I guess it is not enough. I may be his wife but I will never be his lover. No matter how sexy and beautiful I become.

After 7 years of marriage Robert became a cheater, I know that she brings one woman to another in our house or in motels. I never talked about it because I know even after they make love he will still come to me as how dissatisfied he is to them. They don't know on how to please him. But despite the effort, Robert still has no sign of loving me. How long has it been since we make love? When was also the time I started using illegal drugs?

I use it to ease my pain. At first I was just depressed but later on, I'm addicted. I forgot how lonely I am whenever I use it. I saw illusions of being with them, eating in one table, having a dinner, happily together, Robert loved me in my illusions, Kersh is always in the house and he cook me some breakfast to eat, and Jyna always read stories for me. I saw many pictures, the picture I wanted, sleeping in one bed with Robert with our children in young and small figure. Images of always being together. Those are my fantasies.

This is what I always wanted and it seems that it willing never happen. "Robert, why can't you love me?"

I guess this is my punishment. I hope when I die, everyone is in my funeral. At least they started to show love for me even if it is my death. Just to felt love for one time is enough.