Destined Mate

CHAPTER EIGHT

Luka's POV

The hotel was supposed to be the best they had in town, but it looked like a cheap place with too many rooms and not enough beds. I wonder how Alfred had managed to locate this place.

When I got to my room, it didn’t look as bad as I had expected it to be . The bed seemed more solid than it had looked when we had walked in. That was good. At least now I was getting proper sleep, instead of the usual hours of tossing and turning, and maybe that was why it still didn’t look so terrible.

“I'll be in the next room if you need me” Alfred’s voice echoed through my room. I had forgotten he was still there.

I nodded at him but still didn't turn until I heard the creaking of the door as it closed behind him.

I saw her amber eyes against her freckled face and I knew immediately that it was wrong - she was dead. There was no way her heart could still beat or her lungs take a breath.

I remember her battered body on the cold ground in the woods . Her lifeless eyes staring up into nothingness. The sight burned itself into my memory. It had been a long time since it happened. So much time and yet I could still see every detail of it. It always felt as though my brain would never forget it.

She was lying there on the floor. She had fallen when she was trying to run away from me. She hadn't known any better though. She had never seen any war before and I hadn't shown her anything worth looking at in the years since then. I should have taught her to fight. I should have made sure she had never even thought about running away again. I should have told her about the darkness lurking inside of me but I didn't.

It had cost her life.

I had killed her. The thought came out of nowhere. No matter what , I had killed a human being. A living person. I killed one for no reason and everything went back to how it used to be. My life was worthless without her. Everything else mattered nothing.

But it did. I wanted it all back. If I had only told her about the darkness in me. About what waited outside the shadows. Then she might still be alive. I wouldn't have hurt her and it would have all turned out alright. But there wasn't any going back. Not anymore. She was gone forever. The last person who remembered me. Someone she loved. Someone she cared about.

My wolf whimpered at the sight of my pathetic self-blame and misery.

“No, don't say that. You couldn't have done something different. It's just that things are how they are now and no amount of wishing will change that. Nothing you do can change it ", its voice reminded me.

I hated that it made me seem weak and useless, like I didn't have any control, power, or say of my own.

I tried to ignore the voice's advice. To drown out the sound of its words. They were useless anyway. Nothing could make up for what I had done.

I couldn't tell when I fell asleep, but the sun had set while I'd sat by my window, thinking. I woke up in a fitful dream about her bloodied and bruised body. In that dream it was still there. Still breathing. I couldn't shake off the feeling that my actions would haunt me forever. I wondered why it hadn't stopped right then and there.

I managed to squeeze into the tiny-looking bathroom to take a shower, hoping some warm water would help wake me up and make it feel less real. I didn't bother drying my hair, just grabbed the first towel I found and wrapped myself in it. I let the air dry my damp skin, hoping to find a little relief from its chill.

After I had dressed properly (which took several minutes as I was still pondering on all that had happened), I left the small room and headed towards the dining hall.

This part of the hotel wasn't anything fancy. It was basically two rooms divided by a common wall.

“Good morning, your majesty”, Alfred ran after me.

“Morning Alfred, how the hell did you find this crappy place? I asked grumpily.

He smiled “It's not that bad”, he said cheerfully. “The view is great too.”

“Whatever Alfred, you get some sleep because I'm not staying here another minute.”

“It was the only available option and we are trying not to draw attention to ourselves” he replied. “So far, no problems. We're almost done. One more night wouldn't hurt”. He raised an eyebrow suggestively.

I snorted, “I know what you're doing, Alfred, and it won't work.”

He sighed heavily, as if he knew he was doomed and he really shouldn't argue against whatever decision I decided. “Okay, I guess I'm not going to get out of that either, huh?” He muttered dejectedly.

I am sure I wasn't supposed to hear him but I did.

“After tonight, we will leave” I told him firmly.

For a second he looked like he was gonna protest again, but then he just shrugged his shoulders. “Yes sir.”

We finished eating in silence. I kept glancing at Alfred. As much as I wanted to ask him about his experiences with dreams , I figured there was no point at all. I didn't want to distract him from what we needed to do, to find my mate.

I didn't have time to be concerned about him.

I returned to my room and tried to prepare my mental state for whatever was going to await us tonight, but my mind was still preoccupied with other thoughts. The memories of yesterday were stuck to me, weighing me down and making me doubt whether I'd ever go through with this stupid scheme I was planning. But I didn't have any choice.

Or did I?