The Boyfriend List

Veridian

“Things I hate about Eloise: her obsessive compulsive need for lists. That I create.”

I hated being a twin.

I hated that everyone thought Eloise and I should be identical just because of ours looks.  We couldn’t be more different! People failed to recognize that. They were constantly putting us into the same box. Even my parents were guilty of it sometimes. “Eloise doesn’t like eggs, honey. I forgot that you didn’t mind them.” I hadn’t been a vegan a day in my life, but we were all forced to live like that because precious Eloise couldn’t manage the thought of a chicken breast.

Oy.

I had been hoping that College was my way out. My way to get out from under all of their twisted expectations…but as soon as I applied here, so did Eloise. THAT’S when it became a good idea to come here. And LO AND BEHOLD, she got accepted. Just like me.

But who’s picture got featured on the front of the school’s newspaper?

You guessed it.

It didn’t matter that I was also smart. Smarter than she was in lots of ways, too. It had more to do with Eloise’s obsession with popularity versus my happiness with obscurity. Why she needed all of those fake friends, I will never know.

And it had been like that since I could remember.  Even all the way back to first grade!  Teachers were always confusing us because my mother insisted we wear matching outfits every day. The only way they could tell us apart was because Eloise was always surrounded by a circle of people while I usually was playing by myself in some dark corner.

High school was better at least. The school we attended was big enough to support our two varied interests. I could join drama club while she joined every STEM program known to man.  It kept our circles separate which was all I ever wanted.

And now, here on the very FIRST DAY OF CLASSES someone has already confused me with that teen witch. What am I supposed to do?? I’ve tried different hair colors. I wear the baggy clothes, and STILL people are shoving us together. Ugh.

You know what makes a decent human being? One that doesn’t parade their successes in front of others for the simple instant gratification that it brought. Or someone that volunteers because it’s the right thing to do, not because it looks good on a college application. Or someone that ORGANIZES a parade to celebrate something bigger than them.

Ooooof.

If I could tell you all of the things that she’s done that just completely unnerve me, we would be here ALL DAY!   

Eloise Thompson

Rank 0/8

Giving:   0/10 Eloise never gives without an agenda.

Kind:      0/10 Eloise had no idea what grace is. She’d murder in the name of fashion misconduct.

Patient: 0/10 Have me tell you about the time she got the smoothie guy fired B/C she was 15th in line.

Loving:  0/10 Eloise needs to BE LOVED. Sociopaths don’t reciprocate.

Accepting: 0/10 Don’t even get me started.

Honest: 0/10 Eloise has told the truth maybe three times in her life. They were about things she hated.

Polite:    0/10 HA! Her say please?? Give me a break. She sweeps her lashes and DEMANDS

Empathetic: 0/10 Eloise focus on something not herself? Did you just speak in a foreign language?

She steals everything! Even my freaking ranking system! Like, if she ever had one original thought in her body, I would let her have it. But that’s never happened.

That’s why I volunteered here in the library this year. I have duty here, and then a paid position in the testing center. I want to get involved and stay as far away from her as possible. I thought I was off to a good start before that neanderthal busted up the stairs and smacked the breath from my body. And who did he think I was? Of course.

Eloise.

I just want one place in my life to not be about her and have her in it. I think I’m going to transfer after this semester.

“Vera!”

Speak of the devil.

“Vera, honey, what are you doing over here?” I watch Eloise study the stacks of books around us, her bright pink band aid dress clinging to every bend of her body.

“Ugh, Ellie, what are you wearing??” The back of my hand came to my forehead. HOW WERE WE RELATED? That is not what you wore to the first day of COLLEGE!

“I’m aiming for mature this semester. Cut it with the nicknames, ‘kay?” She smacked her gum as she twirled her dark strands around her fingers.

“Whatever. What do you want?”  I placed a few more books on their respective places on the shelves.

“You’ll never guess who I ran into this morning!” She grabbed my arm in her excitement, jerking a book straight from my hand. “Go on! Guess.”

Rolling my eyes, I pulled the book back from her. “I don’t really care.”

“Of course, you do,” she gushed before rushing ahead. “Chase Tyler!” Her eyes were bulging from her head. I had literally half expected her to bring up Ravi. Again.

“Really?” I answered, not even sure who that was.

“Oh my gosh, yes.” She whipped her phone out, her fingers hurrying to type out thirty texts in under a minute.

“Well, that’s cool.” I dispassionately commented.

“Uh huh. Well. Bye.” She scrunched her nose before walking away in her six-inch heels. Blowing a hair out of my face, I couldn’t help but laugh at her, you know? Like, first day here for real, and she’s already obsessed with a new boy. Goodness.

I continued my filing, walking through the Dewey decimal system left to right. When I had finished, I rolled the cart to the front, ready for a new task list. I have this weird tendency to keep my eyes down when I walk. I just don’t like making eye contact with anybody. It freaks me out.

So, when I bumped into my second person of the day, I thought about changing my habits. “Ow!” I recoiled from the knock, my head throbbing with force now.

“Oh, sorry, Veridian. I didn’t see you.”

My head jerking up, I couldn’t believe who was standing there. “Ravi?”

“Yeah,” he laughed. “Are you volunteering too?”