Brielle

Haider Spears

The man and I sat in silence for a long time. I didn't bother to ask where we were going or what we were doing. Instead, the man drove and I sat in the SUV thinking about how my own father could condemn me to death. Simply because I was small. That I barely wore a size one in junior's clothing. That I was weak and had a hard time gaining muscle or bulk.

I wasn't a savant they once hoped I was. My parents wished that I had some magical power as a child. They tried to put me in math groups, painting classes, spelling bees. Anything for me to prove I had some genius who happened to be small. They pointed to the nerdy characters on television that were small yet smart.

"Why can't she be like him?" my father barked at my mother as they watched some television show full of scientists. "At least she could go to college and make the Pack some money."

I sat at the kitchen table in tears as I tried to do my math homework without any help. 

I was six.

I sat and stared at the stars in the sky as the man beside me pulled onto a dirt road. I looked up at him in surprise as he turned off the vehicle and pocketed the keys.

"Almost midnight," he nodded to the moon in the sky as he opened the door and stepped out. "Figured you'd like to turn outside instead of in the car."

I nodded and unbuckled my seatbelt. I got out of the SUV and walked to a small clearing in the middle of a large field.

The man nodded to a crop of trees. 

"You can go out there. Shift," he leaned against the black vehicle.

I looked at the trees. I was going to shift alone. If I were a normal wolf, one loved by their family, I'd be with my mate and my parents. My Pack. The Alpha and Luna would watch. They'd be cheering me on as I shifted for the first time. 

Instead, I was alone on the side of a dirt road with a Sargent from the Black Skulls waiting on me.

"What's your name?" I asked before leaving.

"Haider. Haider Spears. From this moment," he pointed a meaty finger to the dirt under him, "You call me sergeant. Pretty soon you'll be cursing it like a sailor, though," he nodded to the trees without feeling. "Go on. Shift."

I walked away to the wooded area. Carefully, I took the sack dress and kicked off my terrible looking tennis shoes. I stared up at the moon and waited only seconds before the shift started.

My bones snapped. My muscles tore and reknit. My body went from standing up to down on all fours. I wanted to scream in pain. I wanted to look frantically at a kind face or hear the cheers of people who loved me as I went through the enormous change of my first shift.

Instead, I was alone. The only sound around me was the faint hooting of an owl and wind rustling the leaves. 

I looked up and suddenly my eyes could see into the night sky like night vision goggles. I looked through the trees and saw them move in the slight wind. I looked down at the bark of the trees and saw every c***k, every indent, every insect that scattered up and down the length of them. I took a step and heard the leaves under my paws c***k and break like firecrackers.

"Brielle?" I heard Haider call out in the night.

Slowly, like a pup walking for the first time, I stumbled away from the trees and walked to Haider. I tripped forward and trotted up to him.

"Well, looked here," his face had an uncharacteristic smile. "You're a pretty one, aren't' you?"

I sat on my hind legs and stared up at him.

His head tilted to the side and he said, "You don't believe me."

I let out a low woof.

He sighed, reached in his back pocket, and pulled out a cell phone. When the camera flashed I let out a slight yelp.

"None of that," Haider admonished. "Go. Take a run. Get used to your wolf. You have an hour."

I got up slowly and took a step back.

"One," he held up his finger. "Hour. We have to get going after that."

I took another step back. I almost lost my balance until I faced out into the world and ran. I ran and ran and ran.

My breath came in uneven gusts. My muscles screamed for the exercise. I wandered throughout the night and used the moon as my guide. I ran in a large circle and nearly missed the sharp whistle of Haider.

Reluctantly, I turned and ran back to my clothing in the cluster of trees. Silently, I shifted back. It was less painful but still. I wished someone was there to help me.

Slowly, I got dressed and walked back to where Haider stood against the SUV. I was exhausted. I wanted to curl into a ball on the backseat and sleep. No alarm set. Just sleep. Because I had no idea what would happen in the morning. And I didn't want to find out.

"You ready to go?" Haider asked me as he regarded me.

I looked from him back across the field. A thought filtered through my head what would happen if I shifted and ran. Just ran and went rogue. Told him to eff off and left without another word. 

"Don't do it," Haider said gruffly. "There's no way in hell you can outrun me."

I looked back at him and he stipulated, "At least not yet."

I felt my eyes grow wide.

He tilted his head and commented, "You don't get it. Do you?"

"Get what?" I asked.

His eyebrows rose and he said, "So you can talk."

"You've heard me speak," I pressed. "Get what?"

"What do you know about the Black Skulls?" he asked as he clicked the locks on the SUV.

I shrugged, "They're deadly. The best of the best wolves who solve land disputes and protect packs from marauding wolves. Packs who turn on the Council. Anyone who needs help."

He sliced his hand through the air, "Bullshit stuff every kid is told when they grow up. Do you know anything else?"

I shook my head.

"Two types of wolves come to the Black Skulls," Haider announced as he rounded the hood of the SUV. He tugged open the door and I scrambled to get inside with him.

"The first type is a wolf thinks they're the best," Haider pulled his seatbelt out and clipped it. "They think they can make the Black Skulls. No problem. They think that getting on a unit is nothing more than lifting some weights and doing obstacles course for a couple of years. Big. Buff. And most of 'em are dumber than dog s**t. No offense to dog s**t. At least dog s**t can become fertilizer. Hell, with a good burial those guys can become fertilizer, too."

He glanced at me and shoved the keys in the ignition. He turned on the SUV and pulled back onto the dirt road. 

"But that's about all those recruits are good for. Walking into the Black Skulls and thinking they're going to make it with no problems is their first mistake. Continuing," he elongated the word. "To believe it in the face of contrary evidence is the second. They hang onto their ego with everything they have. Grasp it by the balls and continue to squeeze no matter the fact it hurts like a b***h the harder they squeeze. Unlike us," he waved his right hand between the two front seats. "They don't get it and won't until it's too late. Either way, in shame or a body bag, they're going home. Because they have that ego," Haider shook his head sadly, "The downfall of many. They don't get it. But you do."

He glanced at me and said, "When you have no ego you have nothing to lose. And when you have nothing to lose, you don't give a s**t. You don't care what you look like or how you sound when you're done on the battlefield. You don't care how you appear when you fight or when you're finished. You're more concerned about learning how to survive than your own stupid ego. Because mark this, the ego is the downfall of nations bigger than the werewolves. When you become a Black Skull, and notice how I said 'when' and not 'if', you're going to learn two very important lessons. One, your ego ain't worth s**t if you're dead. And two, the more ego anyone, from an Alpha to an Omega, has the more likely they're going to be a jackass. A deadly one and not because they're a good fighter but because they're a big liability. And the more likely you're going to have to knock them down a peg or two. The good news is," he glanced at me again before pulling onto the interstate. "You're going to be in the position to do it."

I gave him a slight smile.

"This is my advice. Put your ego to the side. Your Alpha and Luna. Your Pack. Your parents. Your mate. They're all lost to you. Let you go without a word. Didn't blink twice when your Alpha turned you over to me," he shrugged. "Sucks. Hurts like a b***h. But pretty soon you'll be glad they did. Hell, when all this is over, you'll be thanking your lucky stars that you don't have those sons of bitches to go home to."

"That's why most Black Skulls are rogues," I murmured.

Haider grinned at me and said, "You're quick. Quicker than most. You see through the bullshit. Which is good. Very good. We need that. And you need to use it. But yes. Most Black Skulls are rogues because their Packs turned their backs on them. Either that or they realize what we Omegas are all too familiar with. Most Alphas, and royal families in general, are batshit crazy and stupid to boot. My guess is it's all the inbreeding they do. Too many crossovers of genes. Every year they get more and more," he made a whistling noise and made a circular motion by his ear with his pointer finger. "Sure they don't have any physical impairments. And they like to tell everyone they're not like humans. Have different DNA. But that doesn't mean they're not an order of fries short of a happy meal. That doesn't mean their egos aren't bigger than an elephant's c**k. That doesn't mean that half of the job you'll be doing as a Black Skull is trying to explain to those jackasses why their cockamamie scheme won't work. Another forty-five percent is convincing them to sit on their pretty thrones wearing their pretty crowns, shut the hell up, and let you do all the work before they get everyone killed," he shook his head sadly. "The other five is actually fighting. Ninety-five percent is dealing with the egos of royals. Hell," he looked out the side window and muttered. "Maybe I should've let you run away. Because that ninety-five percent is a headache and a half. Almost makes it not worth the whole mess."

Haider looked back at me and said, "But the five percent you're on the battlefield kicking ass and taking names. The adrenaline is like a shot of the finest drug on the planet. You'll learn to eat that s**t up and deal with the headaches just fine. You'll become a junkie for fifty, sixty years. Love every second of it," he turned back to the street and clenched his jaw. "Until you realize you're fighting the same battles for the same Alphas and the same Packs over the same stupid s**t day after day. Year after year. Decade after decade. Black Skulls serve for seventy-five years. Almost half our lives. By the time you're done, you're so burnt out, so pissed off at the royal families, the Council, the politicking leaders who've never stepped foot on the war field but are making all the calls that you can barely stand it anymore. So you get to retire with a nice pension and a tract of land wherever you want. You'll have Alphas begging you to join their Packs. You'll have fans all across the country who want to be," he raised his voice and said in a falsetto. "Just like you."

He sighed and said, "And all you want to do is be left alone. By yourself. In a cabin. Near the lake. Mate or no mate. Pups or no pups. Doesn't matter. Being in a Pack means jack s**t when you know what the royal families truly are; spoiled bratty crackers-crazy children who play with wolves lives like it's a game."

"Omegas, when they're young, yearn to be a part of a Pack. Would do anything for them. But the Packs don't want them. Suddenly, poof," Haider made an explosion motion with his hand. "An Omega becomes a Black Skull and everything is turned around. The wolf wants nothing to do with its Pack. The Pack wants everything from the wolf. Selfish jackasses pretending the Omegas they kicked out weren't really Omegas. The Alphas brag that they knew there was something special about that wolf. That's why they sent him or her to their death. Not that they had too many Omegas, too many mouths to feed, and taking out one more wolf would save them enough money to get a new wallet or tank of gas for their Range Rover."

My mouth dropped open and I stared at Haider.

"What?" he scoffed at me. "You think you're the first Omega to be sent away? Hell, Brielle, there are fifty Black Skulls in existence right now. Forty-seven of them were Omegas. The other three are flukes. Forty-seven Omegas. You're only one of many."

He looked back at the road, "I was one, too, once upon a time. A male Omega. The worst of the worst. My Alpha sent me to the Black Skulls. My mate was royalty, like yours. Not a Beta but a future Luna. She ended up married to an Alpha. I ended up a Black Skull then a sergeant," he shrugged. "Nothing to go home to. Not ready to retire. Almost there but not yet."

Haider glanced over at me, "You remember Forest the Fearsome?"

I nodded and said, "The Alpha of the Forest Pack. Second to ours. An alliance was made," my voice dropped low. "When Princess Lana married King Dashar forming an unbreakable bond. We learned about it in history class."

Haider chuckled, "So that's what they're telling you? It was an alliance to bring to Packs together?"

"It wasn't?" I turned fully toward him.

He shook his head, "Princess Lara," he spat her name. "Is as spoiled as she is beautiful. She didn't want to be mated to an Omega and made it known before the bond could be sealed. Her dear old dad decided his daughter was too good for an Omega. So they sent me away never to be heard from again."

"And King Dashar?" I asked quietly.

"King Dashar," he looked out the windshield. I watched as his knuckles turned white against the steering wheel. "Wanted a wife. Evidently, one of the house servants was pregnant with his pup. His father was livid. Not at him but at her. Not good for the crown prince to have bastards running around before making legitimate children. The house servant was moved to the Outside. The pup was deemed an orphan and adopted by a good family. Prince Dashar was told to marry Princess Lara. They had an heir and a spare. Now he can screw whoever he wants and Princess Lara has unlimited credit on all five of her cards. They live happily ever after on the backs of their Pack."

"And the baby?" I asked quietly.

He looked at me for a long moment and said, "The baby was given to the Defense Leader and his mate. Evidently, they were having some issues conceiving."

I sucked in a breath and felt the familiar pain slide up my body.

"Yeah," Haider turned back to the road. "You. Your father was all too happy for you to leave because biologically you were never his. Your mother got pregnant so she didn't need you anymore. The Alpha was happy to get rid of an Omega no matter if you were his blood or not. The Luna was thrilled to get rid of a reminder of her husband's bastard child. The perfect storm."

"I can't," I wheezed. "I don't believe. Why would they?"

"Lie to you?" Haider switched lanes and sped up. "Because they're royals, Brielle. They have nothing better to do."

"But," I felt the tears slide down my face. "My father? My mother?"

"Did what the Alpha told them to do," the world outside sped by as Haider pressed his foot on the gas pedal. "They have to play the game, too, Brielle. Never forget that. To them, all of this is a game. One big, f****d up game. Understand that. Brand it into your brain. You are nothing more than a pawn to them. Until," he paused.

"Until?" I pressed.

"Until you become a Black Skull and begin making your own rules," he finished.