Warrior or survivor?

Heal

I know,

I just sit around,

watching movies all day,

eating my ice cream sunday,

I didn't had much to say.

I couldn't face it all again.

I know i just can't sit around in my pjs all day.

I couldn't help resist everything,

I can't change my life in seconds,

so i just heal through it.

I don't know what to do.

Think about you?

maybe hurt myself more.

Because that's what i always do.

Tell myself everyday,

"It's all gonna end soon"

I don't know what to say,

or even act like.

Tell me it's all a bad surprise,

i didnt know what to do again..

Now i should just heal,

it can't be a big of a deal?

I get up everyday,

with a hope to not see you again.

The shadow follows.

I've made many mistakes,

I can't undo.

Looking around in crowded places,

holding my best friends hand,

hoping to not get lost in another boys land.

I don't know what to do.

How to heal?

How to breathe?

Therapy wouldn't solve this too.

I'm taking my time.

Doing it right.

Or maybe i'm procrastinating,

my way out, escape route too down.

I don't know what to do,

or what i'm supposed to do.

Should i take a step?

Or should i maybe just heal through?

4 months passed by,

i'm happier than ever.

I forget about everything,

but it's all glued to the past,

i can't do anything to clear it all,

but i can just enjoy it and heal through,

that can't be a big of a deal?