I Don’t Want To Be A Wife!

Coming Out

  They eventually went back home in complete silence with neither of them attempting to say anything to the other person, it was awkward and by the time they got home, it was 1 am and they both went to bed immediately, but neither could sleep so they both ended up meeting in the kitchen, as both of them were getting water.

“What are you doing?” Kin asked trying to strike a conversation with Lucas when he saw him getting stuff out of the fridge.

 “Making myself dinner." Lucas responded as he got the pepper out of the fridge, with no expression on his face; Kin offered to help but Lucas told him he could do it on his own but that didn't stop Kin from staying in the kitchen and talking to Lucas or rather himself.

 At one point, Lucas got sick of hearing him talk about nothing and asked: “Why are you acting so weird, do you have a fever?” 

 “No, it’s nothing, I just want to use my voice." Kin responded with a cheeky smile, then tried to start another conversation, to loosen up Lucas and make him less depressed. "I am worried about Layla, she never had a boyfriend before and we don't even know Nicholas that well.” 

 “You shouldn’t, she is old enough to know what’s best for her and Nicholas is a nice guy." Lucas finally said something, because he was also a bit worried about Layla but he knew that she knew her worth and he even got a background check on Nicholas and he seemed to be a good man for her.

He never expected Layla to start dating someone, she was never interested in men or anyone really in that kind of way, she was not even interested in friends, just like him, but when Kin got into a coma, she changed and started to interact with others more, he didn’t know why, but because it made her happier, he didn’t question it, until she decided to date Nicholas, that was his cue to look into things.

And when he did, he didn’t find any issues with Nicholas, other than his mother’s family background, which he could overlook, for now.

  "And he is also handsome, I would also date him if I had the chance, hahaha.” Kin tried to joke around but it didn't work, it made the atmosphere rather awkward, by the way, Lucas stopped chopping the onion to stare at Kin; who avoided looking directly at Lucas, afraid that he might see an expression he wasn't ready for.

 “Do you really mean that?” Lucas asked in a slightly soft tone as if he was hoping for an answer that would please him. It was the first time he heard Kin call someone handsome and say that he might date them, it was a changing point for everything Lucas had in mind for their relationship. 

  When he found out about his feelings, the first thing he thought about was how gross he was for holding that kind of feelings for his brother and a man at that, couldn't have been worst, he was a disappointment, and he would surely be hated by his parents and brother, and even Layla if they knew, he felt gross for holding those kinds of feelings, mostly because he grew up with Kin and he had always thought of him as a brother but it all changed after that night, he was afraid to lose him and all his feelings got mixed up together. 

  He wasn't even sure that the feelings he had now were 100 percent true, he didn't know if he loved Kin in that, what he knew was that he loved a man and that was taboo and unacceptable, and he needed to change that at any cost unless it wasn't as bad as he thought.

 “ I am joking, of course, he is not my type.” Kin continued the joke, not realizing how his words affected Lucas and his mindset about everything he knew since he was born.

 “You don’t find love between two men gross?” Lucas said and got back to chopping the onions nervously, he was scared of what Kin might say because he knew those words will stick to him forever.

He always heard from his parents and relatives how gross it was for people from the same gender to love each other, for them, that wasn’t the way humans were created to be and there was something wrong about the people who were like that, they were either mentally ill or had a troublesome childhood that caused them to be like that; it was never because they loved each other, no, no one was like that from the old times and those were sacred times that imprinted what humans were and how they should be.

 “What’s gross about two people loving each other for who they are and not their gender? And even if I did feel that way, why would it matter? There are no gay people in my life, so I don’t have anyone to think of as gross.” Kin had only one thought about gay people, it's none of his business what people did in their life, if someone wanted to love a man or a woman, that should be their choice and if they go to heaven or hell or whatever anyone said, that's their responsibility and nobody had the right to enforce their belives on them, it was as simple as that.

 “There is one in front of you.” Lucas said nervously, with his hands shaking and not being able to cut the onions anymore, his heart was beating fast and he felt as if he was even ready for this, he just found out about his feelings less than a week ago and he was admitting them to the person now, it was a bad idea but he had no one else to talk to, he didn't have friends or anyone he could rely on other than Kin; blame it on the mindset that he didn't need anyone other than Kin and Layla.

 “What do you mean by that?” Kin didn't hear that right, he surely didn't.

 “I….I think I am gay, I think I like a man.” Lucas made what he meant clear and could just wait for a response with a heavy heart and cold sweat all over his body. All while, Kin was trying to process what he just heard, Lucas liked someone, someone who wasn't the secretary and if he was telling this to him, that meant it wasn't him either, that's.........that's just fantastic!

 “I can’t believe, you are……you finally like someone!” Kin couldn't contain his happiness and hugged Lucas from behind and told him how happy he was because he finally found someone to love.

 “Do you not hate me for it?” Lucas asked as a last try to make sure he wasn't in danger of being abandoned by his brother, for being something that he wasn't supposed to be.

 “Why would I? It doesn’t affect my life in the slightest, who do you like and what gender they are should be your choice, I am going to support you no matter what.” Kin said with a huge smile and a big thumbs up until Lucas said that it does affect him.