I Don’t Want To Be A Wife!

Running Away

Jack walked downstairs, on where he was there, why he was there and about what happened the day before, his memory was blurry; the only think he remembered was talking with his friend on the phone, and that was it; everything else was long lost, the same as Natasha’s head.

“You fainted last night, we are in Kin’s house, how are you feeling?” Leonard pushed Kin slightly away and walked to Jack, to check on him.

“What happened?” Jack asked, clutching his head and trying to remember what exactly made him faint.

“Somebody broke in.” Leonard and suddenly yesterday’s night played in his mind like a clip, the feeling of scariness, the powerless feeling and the unknown of his survival.

It scared him to think that, the attack may have resulted in his death, he can never be home alone again, at least not for the time being, he doesn’t want that to happen again.

“Are you okay? You look pale.” Leonard said when he saw the color running away from Jack’s appearance.

“Yeah, I want to go home, take me home please.” Jack asked in a desperate voice, holding tightly onto Leonard’s shirt.

Leonard nodded and walked out of the house with Jack, after telling Kin that he would be waiting for the kind Kin to come back.

A few days later, Kin was sitting in his office, dazedly looking out of the window and eating crackers, to busy his mouth, while he was thinking about the life he had right now with his parents; it wasn’t bad, it just felt artificial and not real, and he wasn’t alone in having that thought, but nobody voiced that out, so they were stuck in their parents house.

With each passing day in that household, a part of his soul got sucked away, their parents behavior sucked the life out of him completely, with no way of getting that back, which gave him a thought he saw in many place.

While he was eating his crackers, Kin decided to pull out his notebook, to write down thoughts, poems and any kind of idea he had in his mind.

Some of them were:

I was fighting to survive

I am still fighting

I was deep in the darkness

I didn't see the light

I was drowning

I tried to reach the top

I waited for hand to take me out

I waited and waited

But nobody came

I buried my sadness deep inside my sea of tears

I hid it behind a smile

I put on a mask

Nobody noticed

I was crazy for them

I injured myself as a finale resolution to not give up

To not finally give up

Everybody had problems

I am not the first

I have to be fine

I will just be a burden

I wanted to be saved

But I was afraid to call out for help

I was dying inside with a smile

Hoping for someone to notice

For someone to help

But nobody came

It was hard

I almost give up

I was almost eaten by the darkness my heart created

But I finally saw a hand

I saw a light so I grabbed it

I was out

I struggled at first

But I become better

I promised myself to be better

I told myself I am fine

I will be fine

I didn't give up

I was fine

I am fine

I will fight

Our love story is still fresh in my mind

You still make me fall for you every second

Loving you was the best thing I did

At first I thought our love will not last

But you proved me wrong

I am glad you did

So keep holding me

Don't let go

Never let go

Our love aged like wine

A beautiful red wine

Each day I fall harder

And find new things to love about you

You make me feel alive

You make me love myself

So let's grow old together

If it's you I am ready to fall

Because I know you will bring me up

So keep holding me in your arms

Don't let go

Never let go

Our love aged like wine

A beautiful red wine

Your love taste like eternity

You make me feel this way

I didn't know it was possible for me

But you made it happen

So keep holding me

Don't let me go

Waiting for you

For you to be back

I waited till my eyes dried out of tears

But you never came back

And when you finally did

You treated me like a shadow

A shadow you don't need

And you know what

You didn't deserve the wait

But I am glad I waited

Because the sleepless nights made me see it

The beautiful moon

The moon I never noticed before

In the night it shines

It accompanied me

Stayed with me

When you weren't there

Now I prefer to wait for the night to fall

Because I know the waiting is worth it

We try to love

We try not to hate

We try to be happy

We try not to be sad

We live

We don't want to die

But I wish you were here with me

To do all of this with me

I love you

You know that, right?

Of course you do

How could you not

I always tell you

In my dreams, my fantasies

Can you meet me in the dreamland?

I want to see you

I want to catch you

I want to hold your hand

I am falling harder

I love you

You are too perfect for me

Way too perfect to be real

Are you real?

You aren't real

I am telling myself that

But I still want you

You are real for me

Even if you fade away when I open my eyes

I miss you

You were my all

My love

My happiness

My sadness

I needed you

But you left me broken

Alone searching for the light

But now

I don't need you anymore

I have myself with me

I lost you

I won me

I won my confidence back

It was a challenge

I decided to take

In order to love me again

Now that you are gone

I finally realized

You were the barrier

The barrier stopping me

Stopping me from being

A better me

You held me back

You gave me an illusion

You told me

Without me you are nothing

Without me you will live in the darkness

You kept me from reality

But now I am free

Ready to fight the darkness

To find the light

To find me

I am me

So I will love me

For me

Nobody will love me more than me

I am my number one

I am my world

I am my light

I don't need you anymore

Because I have me

I lost you

I won me

You don’t have to be what they want you to

Be what you dream of

Be what you want

Love your life and live it the way you desire

They will judge no matter what you do

They will always be unsatisfied

Don’t put yourself in the box they made for you

To control you

Break free and do whatever

Be it becoming a hero or living a simple life

You be the judge and the jury

It may look impossible

It may seem as if the world is against you

And that might be the case

But once you stand up for yourself

They will back away and if they don’t

Then push them away

If they will not support to become what you want then they don’t deserve your attention

Be whatever you desire

Whatever you want

Live your life to the fullest

So that when the day to leave comes

You will smile and think about all the happy memories you experienced

Not the things you wished you did

Because at the end of the day

The ones who stay will he the ones to hold your hand when you need them

You made me feel special

You made me feel worth it

You made me love me

Love myself

By your words

By your voice

By existing

By being there

There to listen

To help

To help me be a better me

You made me feel this way

I was fine

I said I was fine

You saved me

So I want to save you

I want to help you

I want you to let me

Listen to you

To your worries

To your reason of sadness

I want to be there for you

Like you were

I know I am so far away

But I still want to

Be there for you

You made me love me

Love myself

So I love you

I love yourself

So love yourself

Because you are special

You are worth it

You are amazing

You are beautiful

You are my hero

I need you to be there

There in my life

You make me smile

I want to make you smile

I am there for you

I am here with you

You left me alone

You left me in the darkness

But I fought my way out of it

I found the light

I found happiness

Then why are you coming now?

Why are you here?

Where were you when I needed it you?

Don't come back when it's already too late

I don't need you

Nor your fake love

I don't need you to tell me you finally realized your mistake

Because you truly didn't

Don't lie

Don't sugar coat your words

I don't need you anymore

You say I moved too fast

But you didn't see my misery

Don't judge me

You weren't there when I put my broken pieces together

You don't belong to my world

You don't belong to my heart

Why are you here?

Why do you still try to trick me?

I am not that i***t anymore

I know the difference between fake love

And the real love

I am searching for it

You won't stop from finding it

From finding my true love

My one and only

Have you ever thought of loving me?

Have you ever thought of hugging me?

Have you ever thought of me?

Because I sure did

I know that it's impossible

The distances make it hard to see

See that there is a future between us

But I still dream of a life with you

I still fantasize of waking up next to you

I know that it's creepy

I do it anyway

Have you ever thought of loving me?

Have you get thought of hugging me?

Have you get thought of me?

Because I will be sure to

Every time I wake up

I realize that it's impossible

You are high up in the sky

But I am down here living my average life

Thinking of you is like taking a drug

Addicting until I wake up for it

And I feel the pain of you being away

Have you ever thought of loving me?

Have you ever thought of hugging me?

Have you ever thought of me?

Because I will continue to

I need you in my life

If you leave

I will not blossom

Your presence keeps me alive

Your warmth makes me smile

Your existence is my reason

You are my reason

You are the colors to my life

You love me for me

My soul is tied to your heart

My blackness is whitened by you

Hold me close

Don't disappear

Don't fly away

You are my reason

Do you feel my craziness for you?

Make me sane

And I will fade away

Without you around

My happiness is gone

You are my reason

The key to happiness is easy to find

But to know what door to open is harder than trying to find a needle in a haystack

Open the wrong one and you will break the key

Torturing yourself till you find another

Be careful of what you choose

Your destiny is in your hand

Don't hand it away

If it makes them sad, disappointed or angry

Let them be

Because you will be the one suffering

If you give me them the key to your happiness

And let them decide

Your life is in your hand

Trust yourself and only take advice

Don't allow others to take over

Because once the death knocks on your door

You are the only one who is going to open it

And let it take you

It's never too late to try

To live and make your dreams whatever you want them to be

Let your reality be yours

You're the one who has the key to your happiness

So cherish it and keep it safe

Don't hand it away

Once it's lost

It will be hard to find it again

Your happiness is yours

The same as your life

The missing piece to everything is to be happy

To be free

A bird flying through storms with hope

Hope that it will be sunny the next day

Because it will

If it's not tomorrow then it will be the day after it

Just remember that the sun will shine again

The same way your smile will

If you remember that

Your happiness is yours

I used to love you

You did too

But then they came along

We forget about each other

And fell in love with them

We stopped caring about each other

And only cared about them

We drifted apart

But we both didn't mind

Thinking about it

We fell really hard

Fell in love with someone other than each other

I don't regret it

And I am sure you don't either

Because we both know how brighter they made our world

We have each other forever

But for now let's focus on something other than each other

They deserved it

And I can sacrifice for them, the same way you did

The same way you choose them over me

Which I did as well

Ah how hard it is to love

It's beautiful but painful

We had each other

But we wanted more

Love is mysterious thing

It makes us be and don't things we never imagined

I am lucky to have you there

To understand me

When I don't understand myself

It's hard letting you go

But it's harder seeing myself and you love them more

Should we take the step or retract and stay faithful to each other?

I used to be me

Until you turned me to your dream girl

And made me forget who I was

But it was my fault

For letting you step over me

I lived in your shadow and fed off your darkness, your toxicity

It was enough until it wasn't

Because I saw the light

How bright and delicious it is

The waves in my heart are straying away from your name

They are going back to their original place

Back to my name

And it's finally calm right now

The waves found their way home and welcomed me with soft splashes

I am finally home

And ready to be who I am

If you want me to be honest

I stopped loving you a long time ago

The moment you stopped caring about me

About us

Don't act like it's a surprise

You saw this coming

The moment you turned your back

The moment your heart stopped beating in sync with mine

I am glad I have the power to do this

A few years ago breaking up with you

Would have been the same as jumping in the river

But now I am not afraid of drowning in my tears

Because I know I will get out one day

On my own

I don't need you to pity me

I don't need you to stay with me

You can go and shut the door behind you

Because I won't open my heart to you again

I'm glad to be alone in the morning sun

Without you beside me

It's comforting and peaceful

So goodbye to the old days of misery and welcome to the freedom

Verse 1:

I remember you saying:"I'll never let you down, I'll be your flashlight in the dark nights, and when you are tired I'll be your medicine (pillow), when you're fighting I'll be your best soldier (armer)".

Where are you now I don't even see your shadow, but anyway I have to say thank you cuz I've learned how to be on my own

stronger on my own

‎والان اكمل طريقك، واستمر في تجاهل مشاعري لأنني:

REFRAIN:

I’ll be fine with or without you, you are the one who left me when I really needed you, and now take the same road that leads you to me with you

So goodbye darling, your time is over

Verse 2

I remember myself being a bird

Having her wings and flying for the first time and you were the blue sky, but when I tried reaching you

You pushed me away and left me bleeding on the old road

And then I started crying

my life is ending now

I am the reason for your disappearance

I hated myself and I loved you

But now I'm sure that

Refrain:

Last verse:

I'm fine

You don't have to call

Here or not I'm gonna be alright

×2

You don't have to

You don't have to

You don't have to

You don't have to call

He was even creating songs at this point because of how bored and interested he was in doing his work.

Dija

Chorus: You can go

I forgive you for what you did

But don’t expect me to forgive you for the scars you gave me

You can call me weak

You can boast about breaking me to your friends

That you damaged me

But that won’t change the truth

The truth that I am over you

You are out of my life

And I won’t let you come back

To destroy it

Ver 2: I have learned from my mother and her mother

To forgive people that hurt me

They taught me that I will come out as the winner

I will get the good deeds for it

I believed it and now I am applying it on you

After all you did to me

I can say with confidence

You are just another person to me

A passenger passing by

Ver 1:

I was doing fine by myself

But then you came

Everything changed

It took me while to forget your name

The memories we had together

But I did

Last ver:

You came knocking on my door

You called me

You played your role well

The role of guiltless and remorse

But too bad for you

I can see right through you

I know you are only doing this

So we can get together

So you can break me again

Why can’t you live without bringing someone down

Is it too hard for you?

Is it your obsession to see me hurt?

Well, I will tell you now

I will never give you another opportunity to do so

And with the last poem/song that was in his head was written down, he stared off in a distance, while still munching on a cracker, trying to understand why he was here? Why can’t he just go back? It wasn’t his responsibility to take care of kids, he was allowed to have a fun life, he didn’t get a second life to just burn it taking care of Lucas’s tempter tantrum and his inability to be away from him for more than a day, sometimes even half a day, because Lucas would want to be spoiled in that exact way.

“I want to run away.” Kin uttered to himself, not realizing that Leonard was right behind him, he was listening in on what he was saying because he was interested in what Kin Was thinking about; ever since he left the house that day they hadn’t talked, not because he didn’t want to, it was only because he didn’t have the time to, with taking care of Jack and his business. Time was running low on his side he didn’t even have time to go clubbing anymore and since he broke up with all of his girlfriends, he won sometime else, which was money; he would have died of exhaustion and overworking.

If he was still dating girlfriends, he would have had to spend time with them regularly which wasn’t convenient for him he was barely able to breathe without choking on a speech.

“Running away? Where?” Leonard asked, after he noticed that Kin got awfully quiet compared to before, rambling about what he wanted to do with his life, with his crackers and the files he had on the table, with the occasional saying that his life was tough.

“Where did you come from?” Kin asked as he saw Leonard’s face up close and got scared by the handsome squidward face he had, the perfection of it was frightening.

“The door and you still haven’t answered my question.” Leonard said as he took a bite out of the cracker, that Kin had in his hand which offended him since that was the last one he had.

“I don’t know, just a place far away from here. And the next time you try to steal my food, I’m going to shave your eyebrows, I am serious.” He threatened which only made Leonhard laugh and amused, and it got him to thinking about going away with him somewhere.

“Do you want to go on vacation together?” Leonard suggested with a cheeky smile, half joking and half being serious.

“Really?” Kin took him seriously and looked at him surprised, he didn’t think that Leonhard would have that kind of suggestion, but it pleased him that he did.

“Yes, I can arrange someone to take my position for the maximum of a week and we can go somewhere.” Leonard’s company could fonction without him, but not for long, if he goes away for more than a week, his stocks would plum it and everything will fall down on his head; everything he worked on for years would just disappear, in a blink of an eye.

“That’s awesome! I want to go somewhere cold.” Kin had already decided on what weather he would choose the country and perfect for him Leonard the perfect country in mind, to go to.

“Canada?” He suggested and hoped for Kin to say yes, because he had been wanting to go there for a long time but he never had the chance, or more like he didn’t allow himself to have the chance to do so.

“That’s perfect, I always wanted to go there, well in the real world but this is the same; anyway, when can we go?” Kin never had a chance to go on a vacation with someone, it has always been with his family and even with that he only went on a couple of trips for the twenty one year he was on earth and maybe that was because he didn’t like going to go to foreign places that often was slightly scary for him but but this was a different world, his family wouldn’t show up all of a sudden, when he would be out walking.

“I don’t know, I will see with my team and determine when I can take a break.” A team of five people should always be the one responsible for the breaks he too, that was the only job they had and they were good at, since they basically were the one controlling his success and rest behind the scenes; they were even the ones hiring people to replace him when work got to him, but none of those people last for that long.

You could say Leonard was special (you make me feel special, I remembered that phrase, it’s from a song by twice, it’s a nice song btw). And did I only write that six words sentence to mention feel special, yes, I absolutely did, this is my book after all.

“Okay, I will wait for that, I will see when I can take a break too and I will try to align it with you, but anyway, let’s make a plan on what to do, we are staying for a week after all.”

“You seen really excited.”

“Is there anything wrong with that?”

“No, it just makes you cuter.”

“Stop with the flirting, I am not interested.”

“Really, why so?”

“Because I do not want to be with my brother’s boyfriend.”

“Oh yeah, I forgot about it.”

“Yeah, this is going to fail, why did I ever think this will work? I am dumber than I thought.”