Partly because everything seems totally f****d up anyway, and partly because it half pisses me off and even scares me, I grab his rifle and lock the safety on. His face is full of surprise, and mine probably is too. It was an action I hadn't thought of ahead of time, just something that I did, and even while I was doing it it seemed absurd. It seems just as absurd when I hand it back to him and even more so when he looks at me and flips it back off.
“Jesus, man, it's not that I don't trust you. You know that. It's just that I've heard too many stories about short-timers f*****g themselves up.”
Without saying anything, very slowly and with poignant accuracy, he points it at my nuts. My nuts pull into my lungs and shut down my breathing. I pull my shoulders up and start trembling. I expect
