Loving You Was My Mistake

Secrets

Max lowered the volume of the television. He did not want the neighbors to complain. The room was quiet now, but his mind was anything but calm. He grabbed his towel and went straight to the bathroom. His small rented room had its own bathroom, and it was big enough to fit a small library next to his locker. He pressed the tap and warm water poured over his head. The sensation should have been calming, but his thoughts refused to let him rest.

The bathroom was simple, with white tiles covering the floor. The tub and the chamber sat side by side, and above him, a single blinking light cast an unsteady glow. He had promised himself he would fix it, but weeks had passed without him touching it. He closed his eyes under the warm water, imagining it could wash away the heaviness pressing on his chest.

After finishing, he returned to his bed and tried to close his eyes. He pulled a book from his shelf, hoping reading would distract him. He turned the pages, but the words blurred. Every line reminded him of Nixie, of her smile, her voice, and the distance now between them.

“Why am I not able to control my thoughts?” he whispered, standing abruptly. “This is too much. Nixie has to reply. I need to know if she is okay.”

He picked up his phone and began scrolling through his contacts. He called several of her friends, hoping for some information, but their phones were all unreachable. Only one number remained, the one he had avoided all this time. Chen. His finger hovered over the call button, trembling. Chen had always been like a thorn in his life, a girl who could disrupt everything he tried to hold together. She was jealous when Max chose Diana instead of her. She did not care about Nixie or her feelings. She only cared about herself.

Before he could decide, his phone rang. The name on the screen made his stomach twist. Chen.

“Hey, Max,” her voice came loud and confident.

“Chen, why are you calling?” he asked softly, trying to keep his emotions hidden. “I was about to call you.”

“I would not have answered anyway if you had called first,” she replied.

“You called anyway. It makes no difference,” he said, frustration rising.

“I sent you a message before, and you ignored it. You let Diana into your room without even answering me. I was angry,” Chen complained, her tone sharp.

“Chen, do not forget. Diana is my girlfriend. You are not comparable to her,” Max reminded her firmly.

“Oh, today you finally said it out. So who is Nixie to you if Diana is your girlfriend?” she pressed, testing him.

“Do not pretend you care. Just leave it to me,” he snapped. His chest felt tight, but he could not show weakness.

“Okay, but remember when to call me,” she said. “I can even make Nixie reply or convince her otherwise. You are in trouble, Max. You need me.”

“I thought I needed you, but no, Chen. Nixie will be hurt if she knows everything. I cannot let that happen,” he said, ending the call abruptly.

Chen had always been a problem. They had been close once, in secret moments that he had tried to stop. But her persistence made it impossible to ignore her. No matter how careful he was, she always found a way to reenter his life.

After hanging up, Max threw himself onto the bed. He rolled for hours, restless, trapped in the weight of his own mistakes. By midnight, exhaustion finally took him, and he slept deeply, but it was not peaceful.

When he opened his eyes, the sunlight had already begun to creep through the curtains. Several alarms had been missed. He rubbed his eyes and sighed. “It has to end. This is disturbing me too much,” he muttered. Today would be different. He would focus on something else, at least for a while.

He washed his face, short and neat hair already combed, and dressed quickly in a long black trouser and a maroon golf shirt. He switched on the kettle and tied a silver watch around his wrist. The water boiled, and he quickly poured himself a cup of black coffee, hoping the warmth would steady him. Soon he was ready and out the door, making his way to Loweni College, which was just a short walk away.

As he entered the campus, voices called his name. “Hey Max! Come this way, bro!”

He smiled and waved. “What is up, guys? How was your weekend?” he asked. Claire, his friend, hugged him tightly.

“I came yesterday. I am exhausted, but I wanted to be here for classes,” Claire said, his tone tired but proud.

“You did the right thing, Claire! We are here to see you receive your gold medal in the assembly,” John shouted, excitement in his voice. “I want to see how your girlfriend reacts.”

Max congratulated Claire sincerely. “You are amazing, bro. Loweni College will be proud of you.”

The three friends were well known in the college. Max for his scholarship, Claire for sports, and John for music. Unlike Max, his friends had never dated more than one person at a time, and they often teased him for his choices. They walked together, chatting and laughing, heading to their classrooms.

Loweni College was small and humble, located on the far side of town. Most students came because it was affordable. Max had no choice after high school; he was following in the footsteps of his parents.

As they neared their classrooms, Diana appeared. Max greeted her, and she smiled, though she avoided eye contact. She was still shy after the events of the previous evening. Max’s friends went on to their classes, leaving Max and Diana alone.

“How are you?” he asked gently.

“I am fine,” she replied, her cheeks tinged with pink. “I thought you might not come to class today.”

“Why would I miss lessons? I am not sick,” Max teased, dimples appearing as he grinned.

“You looked sick yesterday,” she said softly, a smile tugging at her lips.

“Yes, you caught me,” Max laughed.

“I have to go to my first class now. My accounting professor is not as friendly as yours,” she said, glancing at her watch. “See you at the show tonight.”

Max nodded, trying to focus on her words. “Alright, I will see you there.”

“Yes, in two weeks it will be Valentine’s Day,” she reminded him. “I want the biggest cake ever.”

“Sure. You will be amazed when the day comes,” he promised, smiling at her radiant face.

Before Diana could leave, Munoz approached, her presence confident and playful. “Hey Diana, this is my territory. I do not want to see you standing with Max here. I would feel offended as the second girlfriend,” she joked.

“You are right. I should go. I do not want to get beaten up,” Diana laughed and headed to her class.

Max walked with Munoz, chatting about the musical show scheduled for that evening. The energy in the college was alive, but Max felt the weight of everything he had tried to hide. Nixie’s silence still lingered in his mind, a shadow that he could not shake.

The assembly began. Claire was called to the stage to receive his gold medal. The crowd cheered loudly, and Max watched with pride. It was a reminder that even in the chaos of his private life, the world continued to turn. People celebrated victories, and life moved forward. Yet for Max, every triumph felt hollow if Nixie did not answer.