Loving You Was My Mistake

A Weekend of Silence

Max spent the entire weekend locked in his room. He did not wish to step outside. The cold air outside only made staying indoors feel safer. The silence of the empty house reflected the silence in his heart. He had tried to reach Nixie, sending messages and calling her repeatedly, but she did not answer. He was certain that she had read his messages and deleted them. Each unanswered call was a small stab, and the emptiness inside him grew heavier with every passing hour.

He lay on his bed staring at the ceiling, lost in thoughts of her. The letter she had written, her pictures, her voice, they all replayed in his mind, and he felt powerless. He could not reach her. He could not undo the pain caused by Chen’s betrayal. The room seemed smaller with every sigh, the walls closing in as his thoughts consumed him.

A knock at the door pulled him out of his reverie. He got up, a small spark of curiosity stirring inside. When he opened the door, he saw the delivery man holding a package. It was his new phone. He had ordered it weeks ago, long before the quarrel with Nixie had begun. The payment had been made online, so he just accepted the package and closed the door.

He quickly swapped his accounts from the old battered Samsung Galaxy to the new phone. The process was fast, almost urgent, as if he wanted a fresh start. The moment he finished, his new phone rang. Diana’s name lit up the screen. He hesitated for only a second before answering.

“Hello, Diana,” he said, trying to keep his voice steady.

“Max! I have been trying to reach you all morning. Your number was unreachable. Are you alright?” Her voice was bright, but concern threaded through it.

Max paused, remembering that his old phone had been dead. He had not charged it in the morning. His mind had been too consumed with Nixie to care about anything else.

“I am sorry, Diana. My phone battery died. I was hesitant to charge it,” he said, explaining softly.

“Oh, so you never thought of calling me today,” she teased lightly. “It is evening now and I have not received a single message from you since yesterday.”

“Diana, where are you going?” he asked, shifting the conversation.

“Wow, you realized I am not home. How did you know?” she laughed. “I am on my way to town. I might pass by your house.”

“Okay, love. I will be waiting for you,” he said, and the call ended abruptly.

Diana had always been calm, but with Max she was lively. Her parents were strict and rarely allowed her freedom, so any chance she got to go into town or to college, she seized eagerly. At twenty-four, two years older than Max, she had a maturity about her. Yet with him, she was playful and light-hearted. Their relationship was admired by many students. Diana believed she was the only girl in Max’s life. She had no idea about Nixie.

After the call, Max spread a white sheet over his single bed and placed blue pillows neatly at the head. He felt his stomach grumble, reminding him that he had not eaten all day. He moved to the kitchen and turned on the stove. He put rice to cook and started frying sausages on a separate pan. The room soon filled with the scent of sizzling meat and the soft hum of music from his speaker. The aroma made his stomach protest even more, a reminder of how long he had gone without food.

Before he could finish, Diana arrived. The smell of cooking made her smile, and she came straight to Max, wrapping her arms around him. They kissed softly, a gentle connection in the midst of the tension around him. Diana then moved to sit on his bed while Max continued preparing the meal.

“I was alone all day. My mother is out of town,” she said, lying back slightly. “I would have come to see you this morning, but your phone was unreachable.”

“You should have come, love. I spent the whole day alone. It was not fair,” Max replied, serving rice onto a plate.

“I am here now, and I hope the rest of your day is better,” she said, getting up to look at him. “You sounded down on the phone, and I can see it on your face. Something is wrong.”

“No, love. Just that my phone was not responding, so I had to buy a new one,” he said, pointing at the new phone on the bedside table.

“Really? You bought a new phone?” she asked, picking it up with admiration.

Max quickly changed the subject, “Fork or spoon, my lady?” he asked, smiling. He did not want her to focus on the phone, or to see how distracted he was by thoughts of Nixie.

Diana laughed, putting the phone down. “Stop being so sarcastic. We will share the spoon, no choice.” Max smiled, a small light returning to his face.

Diana knew Max’s room very well. He lived alone, and most of his things were simple and basic. One plate, one spoon, one pan, one pot. It did not bother him; it was enough for his life. Sometimes his parents sent money, and he often overspent it without much thought.

They sat on the bed, sharing a spoon as they ate. Diana eventually said she wanted to shower. Max gave her his towel. She went to the bathroom expecting him to join, but he stayed back, lost in thoughts. He washed the dishes slowly, trying to focus on mundane tasks to distract himself.

When she emerged half-dressed and still wet, Max’s eyes followed her. He moved closer and took the towel from her hands. He dried her carefully, feeling the warmth of her skin beneath his hands. She sighed, moving forward to kiss him, but Max stopped her.

“I cannot do this, Diana,” he said quietly, stepping back.

She froze. Max never behaved this way. Her eyes searched his face, confused and hurt.

He moved to the locker, taking out his toothbrush. Diana watched him silently.

“What is it?” she asked softly. “I do not understand you.”

Max spread toothpaste on the brush but did not start brushing. His mind was filled with Nixie’s image. He did not want to hurt Diana, but he could not bring himself to cross the line.

“Nothing is wrong, love. I am just not in the mood,” he said, looking sideways. “I am sure you are also not ready.”

“I said I am not ready because I wanted my birthday to pass first,” she explained. “My mother wanted me to wait until marriage. I wanted to obey her.”

“No, we cannot do this, Diana. Let us respect your mother,” he said firmly.

“What is wrong with you? You never behaved like this,” she complained, dressing up. “I am embarrassed right now.”

Max approached her, caressing her cheek. “Trust me, Diana. This is for your own good,” he whispered, looking into her eyes. “I am not the man you thought I am.”

Her eyes widened. “What do you mean? You can share anything with me at any time.”

Max said nothing. He knew the truth would destroy her trust, and he could not reveal his feelings for Nixie.

Diana grew impatient. She picked up her purse and asked for money for a taxi. Max handed her a few dollars, and she left.

Max remained in the room, toothbrush in hand, torn by guilt. He did not want to hurt Diana, yet he could not stop thinking of Nixie. His love had become a web, tying him to two hearts, and he could not find a way to free himself without causing pain.

For the first time, Max felt the full weight of his actions. His heart ached, and he realized that playing with the emotions of others was slowly crushing him too. Love had become a battlefield, and he was losing.

The room fell silent again. Outside, the cold wind whispered against the windows. Inside, Max sat on the bed, staring at nothing. The warmth of Diana’s presence had left, and only the echo of his own mistakes remained. He wondered if he could ever find a way to make things right, or if he was doomed to watch the two most important people in his life drift away.