Sessions

These three Words

These 3 words.

"What a day!"

That's my only sentiment as I pulled off the lot of my practice and headed downtown. I was more than a little excited about this opportunity to blow off some steam and relieve myself of a lot of stress.

   Myles session was a lot. I'm proud of him for recognizing his triggers but I think it's important to be honest about them. The guilt is killing the guy. He has to be ready to deal with the aftermath of his flashbacks. I am just taking it slowly with him. His state of mind is quite fragile.

After a long tear filled session he had a flashback right in front of me. The anxiety of going home after that must have gotten the best of him. 

I left the office drained but freshened up. I had a date and I had to change into a new Dolce &Gabbana wrap dress still in all black even my lace bra was jet black.

I pulled into the valet, I could see him. My date sitting in the window casually glancing up every few moments to see if he would see me arrive. He was my ex. The one who bought the silk shirt. Hence my need to change my clothes. He hadn't seen me in a year and he wouldn't recognize my car so I was taking my precious time. Let him sweat for a while. 

I touched up my blue matte lipstick before stepping out of my Jaguar coupe and handing a fob to the Valet. I jog across the street to the restaurant where he sat waiting. 

He sees me as I step towards the Maitre'd. I look him up and down as he stands up to greet me following closely behind the staff of the packed restaurant. He has an erection. I snickered to myself. 

I slowly slid into the booth we were in. We made eye contact and I could feel the silence. He searched my eyes for a sign of affinity for him. I hid it. 

I had refused him. I rejected him. The first time since he left me. It felt good. I smiled....big, and he nervously smiled back. He was terrified and I was going to be his deepest fear. He should be afraid. 

I mean how the f**k dare he? The audacity to even reach out to me after everything! He was so egotistical. At least I was doing this trying to get laid. This ingrate was actually here to try to get me back. The nerve.

He caught my drift, and settled down. " I knew you agreed to meet way too easily." He looked at me trying to make eye contact. Searching for the connection we used to have through my exhausted glance back. It was gone. He didn't give up though.

"After how I did you...i should have known better...I'm just going to let you go. I'm sorry that I..." his voice trailed off as he stood up to leave. 

This was not the plan. 

"Wait.." I said stronger than I meant to. 

He froze. d**k still hard and much closer to my face than I realized when he first stood up. 

"Wait? You are dressed in all black with your funeral lipstick on Lo! You wanted to send a message, and I caught it loud and clear. I'm dead to you."

"Not you..." I looked away from his STILL hard d**k.

He was staring at me 

What, my d**k? He said with his eyes when I finally got the strength to look into them.

"I hope not." Slipped out before I could stop it.

He laughed hard as he sat back down.

"Then who?" He asked with amusement.

"Can I have a double shot of Patron and a top shelf margarita?" I asked the waitress before I said something to make him actually leave. He relaxed a little but he didn't drink with me. He was nervous and i was eating it up, but i played nice. A sister needs to get off okay!. He was still the best I'd ever had and I refused to waste that erection. We ate, we split the check and then i invited him to "follow me home", you know to make sure i got home safe. 

"Finally a real smile,...but it's not for me"his voice trailed off. He was always trying to get under my skin. 

"Id pay money to read your mind." see what I mean. I wasn't letting his ass in my head tho. 

"How much we talkin" I grinned at him. We were on my porch and he wanted to come inside i could tell

"This is a really nice place Lorena " We were using full names now? Oh it's getting Intimate.

"Thank you I love it, it really is nice." I was proud of my place especially considering where I was from.

"do you have a master bath? Walk in closet? Jacuzzi tub? Everything you always wanted" I had and I wanted to show off a little bit. Flex on my ex. I showed him around my bedroom that led into my bathroom. Sunken Jacuzzi walk in closet and stand in shower. He was impressed i could tell. He wandered through my closet. I slipped off my heels, slid on my slippers and headed to my vanity to take my makeup off. 

he walked up behind me trapping my reflection into eye contact, I froze as his hand slid up my arm. He fingered my collarbone a little before lifting my chin, I was shaking under his gaze but i was fidgety under his touch. This man definitely still did it for me. before i knew it i could feel his back pressed firmly against my back, his beard against my face he stared deep into my reflections eyes..

" I know you didn't wear that lipstick for me” his grip on my chin slid down to my throat.

“ My favorite is the one you wear every day and it's on the bathroom counter.” nosey mofo but I wasn't ready to go there. This was revenge and it would come slowly.

“ So who's dead Lo?" i was going to just ignore him i closed my eyes

His other hand began caressing my hips and thighs. Creating a thick sticky trail between my legs. 

" I-uh I didn't know that. I thought this was your favorite." i breathlessly stuttered. I could barely speak. 

"Liar!" He whispered seriously into my collarbone and slid his fingers against the flow of my juices, I tried to back away but he was behind me. I tried to move forward but that just forced his hand deeper and harder into my softness. I was dripping wet with nowhere to run. He knew it he knew exactly what he was doing. I was literally melting down his hand but he held me steady. 

"Who's dead?" He asked again patiently 

"Nobody!" I whimpered. He was disarming me. I was losing control and he was gaining it.

"That's strike 3." And he let me go. I turned around quickly thinking he would leave. He was on his knees. And as soon as I looked down he stood up wrapping my thighs around his head……

We laid on my bed clinging each other so tightly. We were facing each other but we were cheek to cheek thank goodness because id die of shame if he could see the look on my face. I giggled imagining his face. He was stiff which tickled me even more. I Pushed him away just enough to see his face. It was NOT what i expected! He looked terrified. He knew i would be upset if he didnt say anything so he said it. 

The ambiguous elephant in the room. 

That phrase that ruins aftersex pillowtalk, gets rid off your afterglow, and blows the f**k out of my after s*x high.

 The three word phrase that marks the beginning  of beautiful healthy relationships ,and pin-points the reality check of those of us in toxic situationships with should be exes.

“The condom broke”