Sessions

What day IS it?: Sincere

I know the mf meeting with my therapist is acting like me, talking like me, and responding to Sincere, seems like me, but it ain't me! Lorena is in danger, and she needs to get help quick, or she is not going to get to Angela in time. I wanted to bite my nails, but I'm not in control, so all I can do is sit with the anxiety. I didn't want to hurt anybody. But my new alter was sneaky and dishonest. I couldn't really tell when he formed or why, but he was obsessed with having control permanently and that made him scary but when even Dr Jones couldn't tell us apart, that let me know he was also dangerous. Sometimes my alters would try to hint at what was happening, but the only one brave enough was Bae'boy, and you can barely understand him. The rest of us were afraid because of what he had already done as revenge for us trying to get help with getting control of him.

We called him Unique, because he was different than us all. All my other altars were formed after something that broke me and that piece of me became disconnected but not gone. Those pieces were my alters. I've had alters since I can remember. Some of them go away but some of them never leave. At almost 40, I have had at least a hundred alters but only about a half dozen stuck. The most active are Mary the mother, Pop the fun uncle type, Bae'Boy the innocent baby. The Void, when he comes, nobody remembers what happened; but it's never good. Berty short for Puberty, and he is a horny pimple-faced teenager with anger issues very immature. Then there's Candid; he says rude things to people unprovoked. Most recently it was Unique. He thinks he is so much smarter and better than the other alters. He thinks I'm a coward for having alters, and he thinks i don't deserve control over us all. He acts like he's here to protect me, but the first time, I told the same coworker that referred me to DR. Jones; He took over and told her to lose my number and then, when she picked up, it wasn't me. Unique quit and made us all agree to say I got myself fired, not my alters. Then I wrote it in an email to my girlfriend of 13 years, and he changed the verbiage to dump her and when she wanted to meet her in person to confirm it was me and not Mary who hated my ex-girlfriend and never trusted her, he took over and threatened to hurt her and her family. He knew that would scare her away forever. Me and all my alters were afraid he would set back something else in our life and no one was willing to risk it. We would have never let Bae'boy take over an entire therapy session, but we had just hoped she would understand him. She hadn't and Unique was doing everything he could to keep me from getting in control again. He knew he couldn't sabotage or manipulate DR Jones, so he was creating this stressful situation as a distraction.

And now Angie was caught up in it and things were getting foggy and moving in slow motion and that meant the worst thing that could happen at the worst time it could happen was about to happen! I wouldn't be able to stop it after that. I gave it one last shot to take control. I felt the fog loosen, and I could hear my OWN voice finally coming out of my mouth .

HIS NAME IS UNIQUE. DON'T TRUST ME LORENA. DON'T TRUST ME! ANGIE IS NOT SAFE!