Vows of Silence

2

The hot water scaled the cracks on my hands. I was accustomed to the sensation but it still hurt the same. I grabbed another pump of the blue soap and scrubbed the scrambled egg bits off the pan. I eyed the pair of dishwashing gloves that hung above the sink. I wasn't allowed to use those, they were Rebecca's. Even though she barely washed dishes and the gloves were as new as the day they were bought a year ago, they were off limits. There they hung, dangling right above me. I could just reach out and pull them down. I saw it in a movie once, when I was delivering snacks, a girl tied a bone to a string and then secured it to a dog collar. Then she fashioned a bag of chicken food to the dog and set him off. He spent the whole time chasing the bone that hovered above him without knowing he was doing the girl's job. That's how I felt with these gloves. At least the dog was given the bone in exchange for his work. I guess my bone was the fact that they kept me alive and gave me somewhere to sleep.

''Before I sit down, is there any ketchup out?'' Damn it. I know that voice. "It's fine Mrs.Becca I'll grab it'' Rebecca mumbled something else that I couldn't quite make out.

''I don't mind.'' I felt my body go stiff when I smelled him. My wolf may have been dormant but I still had my senses. My hands were turning red under the hot water, where I held the sausge pan. He said he just needs ketchup. It should be fine. Everyone knows he's in here. He announced it. The fride was open. I know because I felt the cool air hit my back. He was taking too long to find the stupid sauce.

''Remember what happened last time I did this?'' My body jerked in fear as his hot breath invaded my ear. Did what? His hand suddenly went under my shirt and cupped my butt cheek. I jumped when his hand made contact but his other hand was firmly on my shoulder pinning me against the sink. Last time he did this I had turned around and slapped him one oft he cleaning rags. The chemicals on it had left a burn on his face and he went and told his parents, who told formerAlpha John that I had attacked him for no reason. John had ordered me whipped on the spot. Derek had told him that I should be stripped naked so as not to ruin the only clothes I had. Now, just pinkish white lines served as reminders of the last time he had done this. His face had healed after three days. I had been avoiding Derek since. Yet here I was, trapped between the sink and him.

''Stop". My hands clutched the spatula in my hand as his hand trailed against my body.

''You don't mean that. Just hear how shaky your voice is. You want this as much as I do.'' I kept my legs pressed together.

''You know, last time I didn't get to finish on account of you hitting me...Do you think you've learned your lesson?'' His fingers pulled at the hem of my pants.

''Stop.'' I said it again. The water was still running. His hand reached down.

''She said 'stop' Derek.'' His hand lingered for a second more before he moved it.

''You got lucky this time.'' I could only breath when I felt him leave. I shut off the water and leaned over the sink. I wanted to throw up. I pressed my forehead against the cool metal of the sink. The lump in my throat started to grow and nothing I did was able to push it down. It wasn't the first time I'd been whipped and Alpha John wasn't Alpha anymore but if he was old and his son was young I didn't want to know what he'd do to me. He always present at every punishment.

''Are you alright?'' I swallowed the rock in my throat. I couldn't form any words. My brain sent signals for my head to nod. I was not alright. I have never been alright. Straighting my back, I searched for the sponge in the slow draining sink of soapy water. Food had filled the stopper and blocked the water from making that little tornado in the water when it starts draining fast. He still hadn't left. He was lingering by the cereal. His eyes scanned the box as if he was actually reading it. I know I'm not supposed to but he's being weird. I looked over at Alpha Damian. He had recieved the title formally last week. His welcoming party was this week as per tradition. Each alpha had to rule for a week before a celebration could be had. They had to prove their worth to their people and assure everyone of what ruler they would be. I was still unsure of what his position would do to me. He could kill me and no one would bat an eye. I don't think I'd mind. He was wearing blue jeans and a white t-shirt. A wrinkled white t-shirt. I never send wrinkled clothes. My vision was slowly blurring. This time it wasn't from hunger.

It was thanks to him I'd escaped. I don't know what that means. Unless it's because he wants me. I've heard stories of rouges that fight each other to the death in order to mate someone. The mate has never been willing and breaking her leg is the best way they can keep her from running away while they fight. I think they say that around me so that I don't run. I don't what would be a better fate. A quick death from bleeding out during a forced mate and a broken leg or walking on eggshells until I eaither starve or get beaten to death. Not to mention the forced mating isn't exactly preventable for me in this house. House but not home. I finally felt Alpha Damian leave and I let my breath go as a few tears left my eyes and dripped into the sink.