“Why Aren’t You Better?”
928 Words
CHAPTER 19
(Kai’s POV)
Kai hated going home.
The moment the car stopped in front of the Hyung mansion—
His chest already felt heavy.
The house looked beautiful.
Massive gates.
Warm golden lights.
Perfect gardens.
Everything expensive.
Everything flawless.
But somehow—
It never felt warm to him.
Kai quietly stepped out of the car while holding his exam papers tightly in one hand.
92.
A score most students would celebrate proudly.
But for Kai—
It felt dangerous.
Because his father never cared about “good.”
Only perfect.
The front doors opened before Kai could prepare himself mentally.
A maid bowed politely.
“Welcome home, Young Master.”
Kai nodded quietly.
“…Is Father home?”
“Yes. He’s waiting in his office.”
Of course he was.
Kai swallowed hard.
Every step upstairs felt heavier than the last.
Maybe today won’t be bad.
Maybe if I explain—
No.
He already knew better than to hope too much.
Kai stopped in front of the office door and knocked softly.
“Come in.”
Cold voice.
Sharp voice.
Kai entered quietly.
His father sat behind a large desk while reading documents. Even without looking up, the pressure inside the room already felt suffocating.
“You’re late.”
“I had school activities.”
His father finally looked up.
“The cooking club again?”
Kai immediately stiffened.
“…Literature club.”
Silence.
Then—
“Your exam results arrived.”
Not a question.
Kai slowly handed over the papers.
His father reviewed them carefully.
The room became painfully quiet.
Kai hated silence like this.
Because silence always came before disappointment.
Then finally—
“…Ninety-two.”
Kai’s stomach tightened immediately.
“It’s still one of the highest scores in class—”
“But not the highest.”
The words cut instantly.
Kai lowered his gaze quietly.
His father placed the papers onto the desk sharply.
“You’re becoming distracted again.”
“I’m trying my best.”
“That answer is meaningless.”
Kai’s hands slowly tightened beside him.
Here we go again.
“You waste too much time cooking,” his father continued coldly. “Cleaning. Baking. Acting soft.”
Kai bit the inside of his cheek silently.
“I told you already,” his father said sharply. “Those things are useless for men.”
Kai’s chest tightened painfully.
But this time—
Something inside him pushed back slightly.
“…They’re not useless.”
Silence.
Dangerous silence.
His father slowly stood up from behind the desk.
“You’re speaking back to me now?”
Kai immediately looked down again.
“…No.”
“You embarrass yourself.”
The words came out colder this time.
“You act weak.”
Kai stayed silent.
Because arguing only made things worse.
His father stepped closer.
“You think the world will respect a man who hides in kitchens?”
Kai’s breathing became uneven.
Because cooking wasn’t hiding.
Cooking made him happy.
Cooking made him feel calm.
Cooking made him feel useful.
But nobody in this house ever understood that.
“You’re becoming pathetic,” his father continued harshly. “Your grades are dropping because you care about childish hobbies.”
“It was only one test,” Kai whispered quietly.
Wrong answer.
The atmosphere shifted instantly.
His father grabbed his arm harshly.
Kai flinched immediately.
Pain shot across his arm sharply.
“You still make excuses?”
“I’m sorry—”
“Sorry isn’t enough!”
His father’s voice echoed loudly through the office.
Kai’s heart pounded painfully.
Even now—
Even after years—
He still got scared.
“You should be stronger than this,” his father said angrily. “Smarter. Better.”
Kai stared down at the floor quietly while his arm hurt beneath the tight grip.
No matter what he did—
It was never enough.
Perfect grades.
Perfect behavior.
Perfect effort.
Still not enough.
Then suddenly—
His father shoved him backward roughly.
Kai stumbled slightly before catching himself against the desk painfully.
Humiliation burned hotter than the pain.
“You disappoint me,” his father said coldly.
Those words hurt the most.
Every time.
Kai lowered his head quietly.
“…Yes, Father.”
His father turned away afterward like the conversation already ended.
“Leave.”
Silence filled the room.
Kai stood there for a second longer.
Hurting.
Ashamed.
Small.
Then quietly—
“…Goodnight.”
No answer came back.
Of course not.
Kai walked out of the office calmly.
Only calmly.
The moment the door closed behind him—
His breathing immediately became shaky.
He quickly walked upstairs toward his bedroom before anyone could see his expression.
The second he locked the door—
Everything collapsed.
Kai slowly sat against the floor beside his bed while gripping his injured arm tightly.
It hurt.
But honestly?
Not as much as the disappointment inside his chest.
> Weak.
> Pathetic.
> Disappointing.
Kai closed his eyes tightly.
Why was it so hard to make his father proud?
Why did nothing ever feel enough?
Then slowly—
His thoughts drifted somewhere else.
To the literature club.
To warm pastries in the kitchen.
To Carl calmly helping everyone.
To Ren reading near the windows quietly.
To Chris loudly stealing food while smiling like sunlight.
And unexpectedly—
To Leanne laughing beside him while baking together during the festival.
Warm.
Comfortable.
Safe.
The complete opposite of this house.
Kai lowered his head slowly against his knees.
And for the first time that night—
He cried quietly where nobody could hear him.
- Writer
