Undateables: The Duology

Chapter Three

Chapter ThreeThroughout my train journey I keep running through different potential outcomes. What if it's a disaster? What will I say to him when we meet? Shaking hands would be an odd greeting, wouldn't it? I should move in for a hug. But what if I don't like him in person? Crap, he hasn't even seen a proper, picture; what if he doesn't like me? I’d call Sally for a much needed confidence boost but typically, I’ve no network.

I feel like a cigarette even though I don't smoke and I know that'll make things worse. Damn, if I'm this freaked out, how scared must he be right now. We're surely doomed if I don't get myself under control. I'm the one in charge, I tell myself. I've got this. Ugh.

The hotel looks just like every other Etap I've ever visited, which isn't necessarily a bad thing. At least it's impersonal and clean and not so small that we'd feel too overlooked.

The short walk to the cinema feels like it lasts forever and yet not long enough. I'm five minutes late according to my watch. Stupid public transport. And of course in my efforts to keep things simple and anonymous, we didn't exchange mobile numbers and as such I couldn’t let him know of the delay.

It suddenly hits me that we don't even know each other's names. Should we?

With jelly for knees I walk into the bright, glass-covered entrance and spot him immediately standing off to one side. He’s looking at the floor and hasn't noticed me, giving me the chance to check him out first. Wow, I really do like what I’m seeing.

Clearly he has been paying attention to my instructions. He looks great, a crisp white shirt, not too formal dark trousers. He’s big, yes, but I already knew that and I still don’t understand why others consider that a negative; it’s different but not in a bad way. I do adore a bit of facial hair and am pleased that he’s kept it like in his pictures, carefully trimmed. Fashionably unruly hair completes his style. Yes, this is what effort looks like and it suits him wonderfully.

I am already imagining what the fabric of his shirt might feel like under my touch... f**k. He’s looking right at me.

Immediately I can feel my face burn up as I hurry towards him, already late and now caught staring shamelessly without even doing the decent thing of saying hello first. God, this is embarrassing.

“Uhh, hi.” I try my best to straighten my shoulders and look at him, but the urge to inspect the floor is almost impossible to fight.

He gives me a strange, vacant look.

“You’re...?”

I just nod, forcing myself to look into his eyes momentarily. He has really nice, greenish eyes.

“I’m sorry for... you know...” Clearly my vague hand gesture isn’t doing the job of completing my apology for me. “Being late, staring rudely, that sort of thing.”

I can’t read him and it’s driving me insane. How do people do this without falling to pieces?

“OK.. this is awkward,” he says finally, taking the words right of my mouth.

I let out a sigh in an attempt to sound agreeable. So much for my plan of greeting him with a hug, things are already way too weird as they are.

“Anyway, you look great!” I say with a smile. He shrugs and suddenly I can detect a glimmer of emotion in his eyes when he looks back at me. It’s not positive.

Shit, he hates me.

“Kind of odd to say that now.”

“What do you mean?”

“If I hadn’t noticed you, you’d have just turned around and walked back out again,” he says.

His interpretation of events is unexpected.

“No way! I mean seriously that’s what you think just happened here?”

I put my hand on his arm and feel the intensity of my heartbeat surge instantly; a sensation not lost on him because he twitches slightly as if I’ve just given him a static shock.

“I was just nervous, is all,” I say.

“You’re nervous?” he asks. I nod slowly in response, feeling my lips tense together and eyes widen significantly.

“OK, f**k it. Let’s start over.” I take a deep breath. “Hi! I’m really sorry I’m late, my train was delayed.”

“Hi...” A hint of a smile plays on his lips as he plays along and stretches out his hand as if to greet me.

Still thinking that’s a very weird way to start a date, I instead put both my hands on his shoulders, tiptoe and give him a light kiss on the cheek. I’m intoxicated. Don’t think I’ve ever been one to swoon before but here we are.

“You smell lovely,” I whisper, before letting go of him and stepping back to where I started off.

After a few seconds of shyly grinning at each other he clears his throat and produces two cinema tickets from his trouser pocket.

“I think we should probably head upstairs or they’ll start without us,” he says.

It’s a relief to walk off towards the escalator together where he shows the attendant our tickets. He gestures at me to go up ahead of him. I hadn’t realised how much of a sucker I am for simple gestures like that; Jeff never gave a s**t. I have got to stop thinking of Jeff!

Rushing to the correct floor and finding our seats in the last row of the theatre, he suddenly turns towards me.

“Totally forgot to ask, would you like me to get you anything, a drink, snack, whatever?” He looks so apologetic it makes me chuckle.

“Don’t worry, I never go to the cinema unprepared,” I respond, patting my handbag. Indeed, I do have a compulsive need to keep sweets in my purse whenever I go out for the day. I don’t necessarily end up eating them but it’s nice to know they’re there.

We get comfortable in our seats and immediately the lights dim and the movie starts after a few obligatory trailers. I can’t decide whether he’s chosen a horror film because he suspects I’d enjoy it, he’s trying the classic ‘scare the girl in order to get cosy on a date’ move or he likes the genre himself, but I’m probably going to find out soon enough.

The opening credits pass and we’re only into the first scene when I remember the one thing I dislike about cinemas. They keep them too cold and my lack of comfort certainly isn’t helped by the dress and heels I chose to wear today. In my efforts to impress, I chose an outfit not suited to the late autumn climate. My hands previously clammy and cold due to nerves, are now practically frozen, sending chills up my arms and around my back.

Rubbing the skin on my arms through the light sleeves, I try desperately to fight the onslaught of goose bumps without drawing too much attention to myself. I fail on both counts and he leans towards me, asking if I’m cold.

Oh my, I do love his scent even though being this close to him is making the shivers worse. Even so, I decide to fold away the armrest between us and wait to see what he’ll do. Neither of us are paying much attention to the movie at all, completely ignoring the gasps some of our fellow audience members let out at something undoubtedly scary happening on screen.

I subtly scoot a bit closer to him and he does eventually put his arm around me. He’s blissfully warm and I’m so excited to feel him against me, I have to fight every impulse to not start cuddling. It’s way too soon for that, isn’t it?

Not long after, the physical closeness between us starts to melt away all sorts of worries and obstacles. Trying our best to keep our voices hushed, we start to pass commentary on what’s happening in front of us; the vast majority of which isn’t complimentary and makes me giggle under my breath until a very stern looking man a few rows ahead of us turns around and shushes me.

I press my lips together in a desperate attempt to keep quiet and stare at... well I don’t know his name. He gives me an equally helpless look, almost causing me to burst into loud laughter. Luckily I manage to save us from certain disapproval and embarrassment by covering my mouth with my hand and cuddling against his chest.

Something changes immediately, in his breathing as well as body language. He’s tense, which affects me instantly, making me forget what we had just been giggling about and serves as a reminder of why we’re both here. It’s no longer terrifying, at least not to me. Excitement inside me is growing and I’m happy to hold back and see if he picks up on my willingness.

Feeling his short, quick breaths against my hair, I pretend to watch the film again and wait. He doesn’t move a muscle; is he worried I’ll move away if he does or am I making him uncomfortable? I can’t be sure.

Minute after minute passes and nothing happens. I adjust myself to a more comfortable position, causing his hand to slip off my shoulder and brush my side. He freezes mid-breath and although I really want to act, I pretend not to notice when he quickly puts it back where it was before.

It is obvious that my whole body has noticed though, I’m buzzing inside-out and starting to feel a deep, delicious warmth develop in my lower abdomen, together with a definite moistness further down. This has never happened to me, not in the company of someone else and certainly not in public. I can count how many times I’ve been turned on enough to get wet on one hand; invariably happening when alone in my thoughts and fantasies but not once because of a man.

Obviously I’ve fallen in l**t with him, from the moment I saw his picture, his profile, his messages. Everything I’ve learnt about him has heightened this sensation, and it almost made me mess everything up because it felt so alien that it threw me off.

But I’m in control now. I’ve identified what I’m feeling; I know what to do about it and I’ll gladly let him in on the secret eventually.

In a seemingly absentminded gesture, I reach up and take his hand which has been resting on my shoulder. His fingers thread through mine, heat travels from his skin and into mine to force my excitement to another level. I feel my own breathing turn erratic and wait again.

Gently at first, he squeezes my hand and I respond by snuggling against him more closely. I’m about ready to lose patience when I feel his other hand caress my hair. My eyes close and I raise my head after taking a few seconds to enjoy the moment.

Looking at him, despite the dimmed light of the theatre, still I feel a jolt run through me when our eyes meet. He runs his fingers through my hair again. Hoping this is going where I want it to, I look at his lips, so tempting. I want to taste him, right here and immediately.

His hand cups my cheek but he continues to just look as if asking for permission. Over-eager and impatient, of course I jump the g*n and reach for him, planting a soft kiss on his lips. I feel his breath against me, his arms drawing me towards him closer.

He kisses me back. It’s a bit awkward at first but then our lips, tongues, our beings seem to be in tune. Every inch of me appears to sing with excitement. My eyes flick open and find his staring into me, smiling as I am.

I wrap my arm around his neck, my hand reaching for his hair now. It’s hard not to get carried away, after all, a cinema does not afford all that much privacy. But I suppose there’s no harm in indulging my impulses just a little.

Running my fingertips over his shirt, I enjoy the outlines of what I know to be underneath. Mystery is overrated. I have spent enough time looking at, no, studying his n***d photographs to know what awaits me and frankly, that’s reassuring as well as arousing.

He doesn’t have this advantage though, until today he had only seen the bottom half of my face and my eyes, and that too in black and white instead of colour. I kiss him with more energy, more passion and feel a moan travel over my lips. Was it mine or his? Does it even matter?

Suddenly aware of angry stares burning into us, I pause, biting my bottom lip and try to signal to make him aware of the grumpy man ahead of us. He continues to hold me, grinning back at me until I decide to turn and use him as a backrest; his arm draped across my front in a similar position as you’d keep a seatbelt in a car.

He seems to be enjoying this changed dynamic as much as I am, because he starts to nuzzle my neck, where all the little hairs at the back stand right up. His hand, fingertips soft and careful, running up and down on the fabric of my dress, just over where my ribs end and the soft part of my waist starts. It’s beautiful, the slow progress we’re making towards the inevitable.

The movie, although kind of gory and scary, passes by quickly and largely unnoticed. His face remains comfortably resting in the crook of my neck and I’m hanging onto his arm, my hand travelled up his sleeve just enough to hold him. There should be no mistaking that I want him here, this close and even closer to me.

His confidence grows and he wraps his other arm around me too, caressing my arm which is still pretty cold in the unnaturally chilled cinema air. By the time the credits start, I can’t wait to get out, away from grumpy man who interrupted our first, tentative kisses.

“I think I want to go...” I say.

He sits up, letting go as I turn towards him.

“Thought it was going well...” he says, his gaze lingers on my lips just a bit.

“Oh yeah, I meant both of us, somewhere more private... if you want to.” I smile at him. “You didn’t think that I want to leave? No, not at all.”

He gets up and offers me his arm, the relief quite evident in his face when he smiles back at me.

“As you wish, my lady. You lead the way.”

My face is burning up again; the thought of what’s to come is both a bit scary and yet incredibly exciting. I can feel my heart pound, I fear if he wasn’t holding on to me I’d have to sit down and catch my breath.

He’s quiet while we go downstairs and exit the cinema. I wonder if this is going too fast for him, but our previous interactions didn’t make me think he was the patient type.

The bright sunlight makes me squint and somehow manages to increase the goose bumps all over my body. I direct him towards the hotel and our walking speed intensifies the closer we get. Neither of us seem to want to delay things any further.