Hater Of Everything

Hater Of Everything

I can't believe my mom is sending me away to my relatives ,I have been too much to bear for her to throw me away like this .I am the black sheep in my family ,the girl that always causes problems ,the girl that is not liked at all.

I'm not goody too shoes ,that's why my mom likes my sister Paige more.

I put my luggage in the car as my mom comes with Paige ,looking so perfect together.

"Have a safe journey ,sis."She says with her fake smile,which I know very well.

Paige is my little sister ,15 years old and a genius in Maths and Science ,doesn't have a bad bone in her body just like me.

She's one of those perfect girls ,caring about their books and also good at judging people.

I'm not surprised why my mom loves her.

"As if you care."I say as I open the door.

"Don't be rude to your sister."My mom says ,defending Paige as always.

"Fine."I say as I get into the car ,not wanting to talk any longer before I start to get more pissed off.

"Bye!"Paige waves at us as the car roars to life,leaving the horrible place that brought me so many bad memories.

Pain,hatred ,regret .

Mabye leaving this place is for the best ,I will be away from my mother ,I will have a new life .I will nolonger feel unwelcome in my own home ,I will nolonger feel worthless and suffocated .

But what is home anywhere?Is it a warm place ,a place of belonging.

A place that gives you hope?

If home is something like that then I don't know it at all.

I never experienced real love or comfort after my father passed away.

My whole world came crashing down ,everything changed , especially my mother.

She turned into a monster I have never seen before ,blaming me for each and everything that happened.

She started shouting at me for no reasons ,calling me names,telling me how unworthy I was.

That was my new normal,being blamed ,being shamed .

I got used to it ,and it also got to me. Day and day I hoped that she was going to change ,that the old part of my mom was going to come back ,to give me one of her warm embraces,her beautiful smiles with dimples on both sides of her cheeks ,or to make me her delicious pancakes that dad used to talk about each everyday but that never happened.

She didn't change and I was holding onto false hope,that was detrimental to me and it changed me too.

I started getting more angry at the world ,hating each and everyone ,getting into trouble at school and beating a learner ,which got me expelled .

leading me to where I am today ,in my mother's car heading to live with my relatives in a new place to live a new life that I'm not ready for ,to meet new people I don't want to meet or communicate with.

This is the life that I will live and I will be the hater of everything.