Four days after the shooting, I went to Gabriel's funeral. it was a Catholic church out in Hayward, where he was from. I took my place in the ranks with Kalistus and Isaiah, with Mayor, who was dressed in blues. But my heart was aching so bad. I wanted to be up near Gabriel. I wanted to be next to him. I watched his ex-wife and his two boys struggling to keep it together. I was thinking about how very close I had come to their lives. And they didn't know it. Hero cop, they were eulogizing Jim. he was a marketing guy, I thought, smelling. And then I started to cry. of all people, I felt Isaiah grasp my hand. And of all the improbable things, I found myself holding his back. Go ahead, he seemed to be saying. Go ahead and weep. Afterward, at the graveside, I went up to Gabriel's ex-wif

