Not Your Luna (Formerly His Rogue Luna)

Chapter 9

"One thing you'll learn from what I'm about to tell you is you can never really leave your past behind you. It will always be there, haunting you, breathing down your neck, forcing you to submit.

Most fear it. Let it control them. It seems the only constant, why not embrace it? The answer is simple. Your past defines you. It makes you the person you are at this very moment. And as much as I hate what has happened to me, my past has made me who I am today, and I'm fine with that.

People who live in pain are always the strongest. They carry around the weight of their world as everyone else's worlds come crashing down around them. They constantly keep fighting when life urges you to quit. That's strength. That's spirit.

And then there's me. I'm stuck in the middle. I've lived with the pain of losing everything, everyone, my whole life, keeping my head afloat with only the thought of vengeance. With dreams of slowly killing the man who ripped my mother's throat out. Then comes my death."

"Wow, Emma. That's really deep. But I don't think killing anyone is the answer."

"Jesus, I can't believe you listened to all that. Everything I just said, that's all bullshit. To be honest, my revenge fantasies are the only part I actually meant. Sure your past defines you, but you aren't your past."

"I still don't think murder is the answer. Also, please don't kill yourself, I happen to like you being alive."

"Damn it, Nathan!" I slammed my shot glass down onto the table, making him flinch, "Why do you have to be so positive?"

"Just trying to be the voice of reason, I guess."

"Whatever. You do you, I'll do me." Okay. Y'all are probably confused, let me back up. Nathan is my favorite bartender, self-proclaimed therapist, and possible friend. Not to mention he's not too hard on the eyes. Also, he's a rogue that left the pack I'm tracking. I know. Multitasking is fun.

So far all I've gotten from him is that the leader calls himself the Regent. Name's kinda cool, and being able to keep hundreds of rogues in line? Respect. I can't even manage to keep myself in line. I'll enjoy killing him.

"Nate! Tequila! Stat. And keep them coming!" I winked and he hid a blush.

A girl walked up to me, "You know, he's totally head over heels for you. I've been trying to flirt with him when he brings me drinks, but he seems to only have eyes for you."

"I'm not really one for love. Or relationships. I had someone once, and the second I turned my back, he was already having s*x with someone else. I would've killed him, but he was kind of my soul mate, and killing him would mean killing myself, and I couldn't let that happen, I mean, I still have a lot to do in this world. Like, kill other people." She started to back away in fear, "Okay I'm totally over this conversation. Bye now."

She scoffed but I could tell she was scared. She then proceeded to run away, or try to, she kept tripping. Ha. Shouldn't have worn heels, you slutty b***h. (A/N Wearing heels doesn't make you slutty, or a bitch.)

"Why do you always have to scare away my costumers?" Nate said with a smile, but I began to feel bad. Which never happens by the way.

I began to think about what the slut had said. He seemed to like me, and I obviously liked him if I was feeling guilt.

"Nate!"

"Yeah. Sorry. I'll get you those drinks in one second." Good. I was definitely going to need them.

He set down two shots, and I had already gulped them down before he could blink.

"Okay! I'll get you another." He turned around.

"No! Wait!"

"You don't want the drinks?"

"No, I definitely want the drinks, but," he began to work as I spoke, "Umm, I was hoping maybe you could meet me at my hotel when you get off tonight?" Was that desperation I hear? This is definitely a toxic relationship.

It was his turned to be tongue-tied. That was obviously not what he had expected. "Er-um-uh, I would love to. Definitely."

I gulped down the shot he had just set out, before dropping two hundreds on the table. "Okay. I'll text you. Keep the change."

******

I heard a knock at the door and felt a smile creep its way onto my face. I was wearing lingerie and a robe. I opened the door. "Hey, I'm so glad you made it!"

Except, it wasn't Nate. I felt a slight prick in my neck, and the world went black.

****

When I came to, I was in an unfamiliar room with Nate, who was awake, and a girl, who was unconscious.

"Emma! Thank god you're okay. You're okay, right?"

"Did you tell them where to find me?"

"I did, But I didn't have a choice." He couldn't meet my eyes. "They threatened my sister." He nodded toward the girl.

"Who are they exactly?" I asked, even though I was pretty sure I knew the answer.

"It's the rogue pack. They keep tabs on all of their escapees. What I don't understand is why you are so important. They wouldn't do all this for any ordinary wolf."

"Well, I would hardly call myself ordinary. I'm alpha blood. My pack was slaughtered by them. Now I'm alone."

"I'm sorry," came a voice. It seemed the girl had regained consciousness.

"Everyone's sorry. It doesn't change what happened. It won't bring them back. Nothing will."

The door creaked open. Multiple wolves came in. Then I saw a face that I hadn't seen in years. I didn't want to. Raiden. My kidnapper. My torturer.

"Hello, dearie. Miss me?"

I roared in anger, "Come closer, asshole, and I'll show you just how much I've missed you."

He laughed, and infuriating sound that seemed like it was made just to piss me off.

I felt my claws extending, a sign of the sedative beginning to wear off. Now all I needed to do is buy time.

"So, you're scared? No real wolf would refuse a challenge. Last I remember, I beat you bloody, you weak bastard. Fight me, coward."

He growled, "You b***h!" He raked his claws across my face, making me hiss in pain.

"Stop it! Don't hurt her! Take me instead!" My heart melted. I had barely known him for a week, and he was already willing to die for me.

"She's special. You, you're nothing. Just a useless castaway." He looked hurt. Probably because it was true.

I heard my wolf in my mind, telling me we had our strength back for the most part. That was good enough for me.

I ripped off my chains, to the surprise of Raiden. I raked my claws against his face. "It doesn't feel too nice, does it?"

I punched him, thoroughly knocking him out. There's no way he's getting off that easy. I looked up to find myself completely surrounded.

I shifted and began fighting them. It seemed I was winning, until I heard, "Stop! Or we will kill them."

I looked over to find two wolves holding Nate and his sister by their throats. I could care less about the girl, but Nate was my friend, and I couldn't betray another friend. Not even when I was this close to my revenge.

I shifted back, and put my hands in the air. As they led me away, I turned to Nate, "I better not regret this."

He nodded sadly. God. I was so f****d now.