fated or sealed

Raven and Inner thoughts

I curled up in bed and spent all night tossing and turning, I can not sleep, Think or even figure out what I want anymore.

If I was strong enough I would leave but I would disappoint my father, My friends, My family, My coven, and most of all I would also disappoint my beloved, My heart needs belong to Zayne, No matter what I do I will always be the caged princess, The princess who is known for choosing, Not for being with their beloved.

I would be known as the princess who could of had it all and chose to have nothing but heartache, pain, hurt, The princess who was truly pathetic, Her love was right there and She walked away, I walked away, The stories will be true.

I have no choice in my life, I have to save my coven, Or a war would happen, I have to marry the warlord in order to help save my coven, Sadly Zayne is the key to that, Zayne has influence within all the councils, I have none, I am a woman without a say, Without a voice because the council does not believe women have a say, My father has been trying to change that, I have to help, By me marrying Zayne, I can help change their views, I can make a difference, I can work for a better tomorrow, A better future for generations and eons to come, I can make a stand.

I can fight for those who finally deserve a say, There are some vampires who hunt, Kill and feed from humans, Some even keep them as slaves for the unthinkable, I can put a stop to all this abuse.

I can change everything just by marrying Zayne, Tomorrow I must reject my beloved, For the sake of not just my family, But all those that can not fight for themselves, Even if I wished I could have my beloved, I need to make sacrifices for my kingdom, and that of my family. What if I chose to kill myself, Well nothing will change, My destiny is to my kind, My realm, I can not entertain this idea.

I tossed and turned all night, Katie help me dress into my sparkly Blue dress and straightened my hair, When I got downstairs, I froze.

My beloved’s fiancé was jerking him secretly under the table, not one of them knew, I felt the pain in my chest, It is hard to ignore.

I Forced one foot in front of the other, Dizziness encountered my vision, I nearly fell but my father caught me.

“You okay sweetheart” I simply nodded and sat down avoiding eye contact with Damon.

I could hear polite conversations but I felt my beloved’s eyes burning into me and next thing I knew was darkness.

My darkness gave me a chance to finally think what needs to be done, I have to marry Zayne, No matter what my heart wants, This needs be done, For everyone, He has a mate, A baby on the way, I can not tear that father away from his child, His blood, His heir, No matter what, I will not tear apart a family, My friend had hers torn away from her and I know how she felt about that.

I will not put this baby through the same thing, I can not live with myself ever if i jeopardize their life as a family, No matter what, I will put them first, Always.

They are obviously happy otherwise he would not of let her jerk him off, I must let them be happy even if it does kill me inside whenever I see them together, I still have time sort a few things, I need to reject him, The sooner the better it is, For him, His fiancè and his baby, No matter how hard it will be, This must be done, no matter how I feel.

He and his family comes first, I will not ruin that, He deserves give his child a father, even if it means I wont get a future, At least he will get a future with his child, That is the main point, I will not be a villain in their story, Not when I am meant to be the hero to our coven, I will do what is right, No matter how much it hurts inside.

1 day later....

I stirred awake to beeping, and white walls, Where am I, I hear shuffling beside me.

“Thank goddess you are awake love” I realise it is my beloved, he tries grab my hand when I pull away.

“I...I have been worried” the pain swirling in his eyes about my unwillingness to let him hold my hand.

“Why, You were so thrilled a few hours ago when your fiancé was jerking you off” realisation then struck his face.

“I....I....I am sorry, You were not meant be feeling anything like that, We have not even mated, I was trying push her away, Also it was yesterday”

My eyes widen with shock and then my father walks in, sat beside me.

“You okay, I was so worried, I should also let you know that Zayne is out of town a few days” I took a glimpse at my mate to see him smirking and I glared at him.

“Kayla has also gone for a few days, She is visiting family in her pack” my mate smirked, God he is so f*****g arrogant.

“fa....father can you get the paperwork signed I am ready go home” He nodded smiling and walked away.

“Why you smirking” I gritted to Damon.

“Because I can do this....” He stood up and kissed me, I moaned and somehow managed to be on top of him, grinding myself whilst moaning into his mouth.

The heat between them boiled over. Driven by centuries of forbidden desire, Damon flipped their positions with sudden, breath-taking speed, pinning her beneath him on the mattress. The heavy bed groaned under the sudden shift, but neither cared.

Raven looked up at him, her crimson eyes wide and filled with a fierce, possessive passion. She locked her legs around his waist, pulling him down into the rhythm of a lovemaking that was both a battle and a sanctuary. Every touch was electric, a collision of ice and fire, royalty and ruin. They moved together with a desperate, breathless urgency, abandoning their titles and the war outside the door, utterly consumed by the beautiful, chaotic ecstasy of belonging to each other.

After an amazing and passionate time, they realise their reality, “That was....My first” I whisper blushing profusely.

“f**k, If....God...I am so sorry love” He turns face me, tears watering up.

“No, It was good, Very good” I smile then my smile faltered when I realised he saw it, My stitches, He helps me sit up.

“How did....” he asked puzzled out of breath.