My psychotic lover

Chapter 3

I felt free and alive as I drove through the night. I haven't felt that way since my mom was alive. "My mom," I thought to myself. What would she think of me now? I wondered as I drove down the deserted lanes of Oakland Forks. Maybe she would have hated me, or maybe not. Either way, that fucker got what he deserved. My mom was always sweet, even though the pain she endorsed was inhumane. Maybe she wouldn't have hated me. If anything maybe she would have been relived. The more I thought about it the angrier I got. I was just so confused and lost, I didn't even realize how hard I was gripping the steering wheel until I looked down and saw how white my knuckles were turning. I need to calm down," I thought to myself. Where the hell was I supposed to go? I was now a killer. A FREAKIN KILLER! maybe I shouldn't have killed him, maybe I should have taken it like I did all those other years. Maybe....just maybe.., before I could even stop them, the tears started streaming down my cheeks. I didn't even wipe them away, I just let them run down my face all the way to my chin till they formed a small drop of water, fell and got absorbed by my bloody shirt. I was an emotional wreck right now. But I couldn't let that stop me. I'm not that innocent little girl anymore, I can't let s**t like this get to me. I killed him and there was nothing I could do about that. I couldn't second guess now. I already got too far. Second-guessing would just slow me down. He got what he deserved and that was that. Drying my tears, I decided that I was stronger than this, and would not feel guilty for anything that I had done. f**k it, I was probably going to hell anyway, I might as well not waste time crying over some s**t that I enjoyed, I might as well embrace it right? Turning on my radio, and blasting Imagination, by Shiloh Dynasty, I continued driving. I finally knew where I was going to stay for the night until I got myself together. This place was sentimental to me. It was a place my mother used to bring me to when I just a baby. It was our bonding place. Driving to the now abanded amusement park, I tried so hard not to slip into little space. "Ahh little space," I thought to myself, it was a happy place, I've been slipping into little space since I was 15 years old. My "friends" back then always thought I was weird, but they just didn't understand me. Little space for me is my safe zone, not some freak show that some people make it out to be. The only one who ever understood me was my mother. That's why I loved her so much, that's why I felt as though I lost a part of me that I could never get back. That's why I was so f****d up! " calm down Camryn," I reminded myself not to get worked it. I can't think clearly when I do. Arriving at the abandoned amusement park, I just sighed. There was no longer anything amusing about this " amusement park," it looked like something fresh out of a horror film. But something attracted me to it. Old me would have been too terrified to even step foot out the car, old me would have just tried to find somewhere else to be. But I wasn't scared at all. It was strange to me. Maybe I was a little more f****d in the head then I thought. " This is gonna be a long night," I sighed. Opening the car door, I took out a paci, blanket, and my... TEDDY, Where was my freakin teddy. "Oh no, oh no no no no no." I left it at the house. I couldn't go back to get it. My favorite teddy in the whole world, my teddy that got me through some dark s**t. I felt my eyes starting to water again. " Don't cry Camryn, don't cry Camryn," I said to my self. We can just get a new one later, exactly like the old one, I said, trying to stop myself from crying. "UGHHHH," I groaned out loud. I was in a very bad mood. Placing my paci in my mouth and holding my blankie on the other hand, which always made me feel better, I waddled to the entrance of the abandoned amusement park. It was still pretty dark out and I was exhausted so I decided to find a place to sleep for the night. "Hm, where should I sleep? where should I sleep?" I thought to myself. "I guess I could sleep in the house of mirrors for tonight." It was my mother and I's favorite place when we came here. Setting forth to the house of mirrors, I could have sworn I heard footsteps. And they weren't mine. Slowly turning around, and seeing nothing, I continued to the house. But the more I walked the more footsteps I heard, and the quicker they were getting. Turning around again, this time faster, and removing my paci from my mouth, I said in a quiet voice, "who's there?" I was terrified, but if someone was following me I wouldn't let them know that so I said, " Whoever is following me, I'm not scared of you, and hiding from me is very chicken of you!!" Hoping maybe that would draw the stalker out I continued. " And I want you to know, I'm very dangerous, so be careful." Still met with no response, I just shrugged and continued on. But this time I was really really really sure that I was being followed, not only because of the footsteps I was hearing, but because of the loud breathing as well. By this time, I was panicking in my head, My heart was beating fast and my palms were sweaty. I didn't even want to turn around. So I did the best thing to do in situations in time like this, I ran. I ran as fast as my little legs could carry me. I ran and ran and did not stop running until I reached the house of Mirrors. Panting, I turned around and saw nothing in the dark layout so I just walked inside the house. Funny I knew someone was following me.