Her Impossible Mate

9- Love is Complicated

...Zander...

I was cold and unfair to Raine when she visited. She came at entirely the wrong time. The Monday morning rush had not been kind to me. When reception called to say she was here, I'm embarrassed to admit that I smiled. It was a genuine smile that made me feel all warm and fuzzy. The stress of the morning had slipped away. But then I remembered. She ran away from me on Friday. Again.

Whether she knows it or not, her actions are teasing and frustrating. She pulls me in, softens slightly before her walls come crashing up and she bolts. I wanted her to know that feeling. That's why I toyed with her. 

What started out as a game to tease her ended up in me teasing myself. Getting that close to her, seeing and feeling her body's response to my bold attempt to cage her, only left me wanting all of her right now.

I think if I had kept her trapped in my arms for any longer with our lips dangerously close to colliding, she might just have caved. But I meant what I said. I don't want to catch her off guard in a moment of weakness. I want her to know what she wants, to be sure of her wants and desires. I want her to beg.

Though I give the impression I am hard at work as I dismiss her, after she's gone I crumble in my chair in exasperation. I rub at my temples to ease the oncoming headache. The pressures of running a business, a company, and dealing with the intricacies of a mate are wearing. Even without the added complication of Raine, I am aggravated. And it's becoming clear that we are destined to push each other's buttons.

My office door swings open, and I groan at the intrusion. Thankfully, it's just Lena, and she has coffee for us both.

"Who was that girl?" She gestures her head out the door as both hands are occupied by coffee cups.

"That is the lovely Raine." I sigh heavily and lean back in my chair as Lena's jaw falls slack.

"The Raine?" She places the cups down and sits as I nod. "Wow. She hates you." She chuckles to herself as my face drops into a deep frown of irritation. "She had a lot to say under her breath as she stormed out." I roll my eyes, and she laughs at my displeasure. 

I wanted to rattle Raine, not destroy any hope of her coming back to me. I can only hope this is one of those love/hate things women seem to enjoy.

Lena sips at her coffee with an annoying delight at my frustrations. I grab my cup and take a long sip of the steaming coffee. Lena's presence has given me a solution to my Raine problem. I smile at her, and she narrows her eyes suspiciously.

"She's going to be working here." Lena quirks a brow at the information. Her suspicion continues as she can tell I'm not finished. "She will be your new assistant." She places her cup down and folds her arms.

"We were going to advertise internally." I shrug at her with a smirk causing her to sigh and purse her lips.

"So she's one of us now?" I shrug again, and she rolls her eyes.

"Does she at least have experience as a PA?" One last shrug has her breathing out several swear words. I chuckle at her, which makes her fire more curse words at me.

A minute or so passes before she takes a few deep breathes to calm herself. 

"Fine. I've been without a PA for a month. It can't be worse than that. I guess she can help me with the fundraiser logistics since anyone is better at that than you." She grabs her coffee again and sips while giving me a death glare. I smile; she's not wrong. While I care about raising the money for the charities, the ins and outs of the event itself are beyond tedious. I couldn't care less about the colour schemes or the tableware. I just care about getting enough money to support the causes.

"That's two birds with one stone then, huh?" She hums in agreement through another sip of her coffee.

"Well, that saves me the one-sided conversation I was planning to have with you now." She stands and heads for the door. Before she steps out of my office, she turns back.

"Remember, dinner at Mother's tonight." F*ck. I nod, pretending I haven't completely forgotten. Her judgemental stare shows that she sees straight through me. With a sigh of contempt, she closes the door behind her.

The last thing I need is Ma quizzing me about work, the pack, everything really. And I just know Lena has not been able to keep the knowledge of Raine and our bond to herself. So now I have to mentally prepare for a million questions, including when she will have grandchildren. I can already tell I don't have the headspace for tonight, and after my two o'clock meeting, I'm sure I'll have even less tolerance.

Arthur Blackwood is coming in at two to discuss the contracts concerning the packs and business dealings. As companies, I believe we can work well. We are not in competition and can support each other. We provide the tech, and they perform the science. The contract for this is all above board and legally binding. It's business.

The pack agreement is what I think he will be resistant to. An agreement is between Alphas. Like a treaty, it's done in good faith. We have each others word and a handshake to back it up. I was deliberately firm with the agreement to give us some room for negotiation. We have had several altercations between lower level pack members and members of the Blackwood Pack. Disciplining them only does so much. If we don't have territories drawn up and an agreement in place, we're heading on a slippery slope towards a pack war. 

Arthur setting up a further meeting tells me he is unhappy with some of the terms. I expected it, but I can't be f*cked dealing with it today.

The day rolls on with the usual mundane and frustrating bullsh*t. I check my watch to see it's nearing two. My desk looks a little worse for wear, so I stack and organise as best I can when the phone rings. 

"Mr Heroux, Miss Blackwood is here for your two o'clock." Eva? F*ck sake. 

"Thank you, Zoya. Please send her up." Great. Eva is here instead of her father. What could that possibly mean? She won't be here to agree, sign or negotiate. If anything, she's just a messenger.

There's a knock at the door, and I sigh heavily in anticipation. I haven't spoken with Eva since she sent me those racy pictures on Friday. I had arranged to meet her that night at the club but ended up standing her up after everything with Raine. This was not going to be a pleasant encounter.

Elijah enters and announces Eva's arrival. She struts in, barging past his shoulder as if he wasn't there. She wears her signature tight navy dress, her red curls bouncing enthusiastically on her chest as she walks.

I stand politely, waiting for her to arrive over at my desk- got to be on my best behaviour today.

She sits before I gesture, crossing one leg over the other, her dress slit separating to show more skin at the top of her leg. I sit again, omitting the standard handshake as she has already made herself comfortable.

"Eva, so nice to see you." I smile. She makes a small noise in her throat then purses her lips. Her eyes pierce into mine, staring deep into my soul. If looks could kill...

I used to think that Eva's eyes were the most beautiful I'd seen. But her green orbs now seem clouded and plain. Her ivory skin that once glowed like the moon now looks dull and lifeless. And hair that appeared to blaze with the glow of flames now looked faded and tired. 

The only eyes I wanted to lose myself in, the only skin I wanted to touch, and the only hair I dreamed of tangling my fist into belonged to another now. Raine. My Raine.

"Zan, darling, don't lie to me. We both know you are avoiding me. That's why I took things into my own hands and came instead of my father. The question is - why are you avoiding me?" Her eyes are narrowed inquisitorially, the slight pout of her lips showing her displeasure. This was about all the emotion she could show with her face filled with botox. I offer a sly smirk in response which increases her pout but only slightly.

"We both know we are nothing more than a casual hook up. Perhaps, I simply got bored, Angel." My face is calm, but my tone is mocking. The use of her favoured pet name thrown in as a taunt. 

Evangeline "call me Angel" Blackwood... Ev-angel-ine.

If she could frown, I'm sure it would be deep and lasting. Her muscles fight back as she battles to show her emotions. I fight the urge to chuckle. Eva really was just a good f*ck. Her feelings have never really mattered to me.

"There is someone else?" Her tone is sharp, her nostrils now flaring to show her anger. It really is something else to watch someone whose face is practically frozen try to display extreme emotions.

I only offer her a shrug. My reply of the day, apparently. Her chest rises and falls rapidly, a restrained rumble rolling through her chest. 

"Whatever. My father sent me to pass on one thing only. He says no to the Pack Agreement." It's my turn to display my anger. Though, unlike Eva, I have to work hard to restrain the visibility of emotions. Maybe she's onto something with the botox.

"Just no?" My tone is rough. I've always found it hard to hide my displeasure. It's Eva's turn to shrug now, her lips now curling up into the mocking smirk I had displayed minutes ago.

"He's old. Set in his ways, y'know. And he has a real dislike for Herouxs'. I'm really starting to see why." She stands and sashays her way around to my side of the desk. She leans over me and places a hand on each armrest of my chair, trying to display some sort of dominance. I don't give her the satisfaction as I just sit calmly, my hands clasped casually on my stomach. I look up at her hoping to irritate her further with an amused look. It works, her eyes flickering to golden, her wolf threatening to take over.

"Before, I would have helped you with my father." She tilts her head, then runs her tongue over her bottom lip and rolls it through her teeth. "But I guess any benefits we had as friends are now over." She pushes herself back to stand from her caging position. It's the same tactic I used on Raine earlier. The difference was, Raine wanted me, so it had the desired effect. I didn't have an impure thought since Evangeline walked through that door. Any attraction that had been there was extinguished after the prospect of Raine. She is all I want now.

I hadn't noticed Eva start to strut away from me, my mind too busy thinking of another woman. She pauses before turning and swishing her red locks over her shoulder.

"When you get bored of your new plaything, be sure to come back to the only woman who ever challenged you and excited you. You know how to get in touch." And then she is gone.

I have to admire her determination. She is a strong girl who goes after what she wants. But that won't do it for me anymore. I'm going after what I want.

I shoot Lena an email to update her on the Blackwood situation. We needed something in place soon otherwise, these low level fights are going to build up to a full-on turf war. The losses and the collateral damage were not worth holding onto ego for. Compromises will have to be made for everyone's sake. 

Lena joins me at the end of the day so we can head over to Ma's. This was a long-standing arrangement; monthly dinners with Ma, Lena and me. As we had got older, we came around less. We knew Ma was struggling with dad, their relationship had been strained for as I can remember. So Lena and I agreed we would take time to check-in and have some family time.

In all honesty, this will be the first dinner I actually make it to since dad died. I've been busy taking control of everything, but I know I have neglected her too long. 

We pull up to Ma's house- a traditional brownstone on the edge of our packs residential area. Lena has held herself back on the journey here, sensing my agitation and need for some peace. 

Today really was a busy day. There were many negatives, problems with both the business and pack. But the only thing I focussed on was the feeling of having Raine trapped in my arms. She didn't flinch or retreat. She was strong and challenged me, and most importantly, I could practically hear her body hum with desire at my proximity. Whether she wanted to admit it or not, she was drawn to me. And she will be mine.

I trudge up the stairs behind Lena to reach the front door. My mother swings the door open just as we arrive at the top step. Her arms wrap around both Lena and I to drag us into a hug.

"My babies!" She squeals with delight, and I feel a little guilty. It's been so long since I've been here, and she has clearly missed me. Now I feel like an asshole. And I'm sure many would agree with that. Raine included.

"Come in, come in." She ushers us inside, and the housekeeper takes our jackets. She leads us through into the lounge and heads to pour us some drinks. 

"Did you tell her?" I whisper to Lena while Ma busies herself with pouring our usual orders. She smirks with a raised brow, and that's the only answer I need. Of course, she did. Anything to take the heat off her. My mother had struggled with Lena's situation with Luca for the longest time. They are not traditional, but at least Lena is true to herself. They are happy. Lena has made her feelings on motherhood clear, and she was most definitely not going there any time soon. Why should she? She loves her life the way it is, and she is still so young.

But now, with the appearance of my mate, the questions that Lena was bombarded with could fall to me. While finding a mate is not always guaranteed, the acceptance of the bond is traditionally expected. Just wait until mother hears about my experience so far.

Ma returns with our drinks. She pauses when she gets to me, her eyes running over my face. Her hand reaches up to brush down the side of my cheek. I look up at her with a slight frown, unsure of what she's doing.

"You look tired, darling." I sigh as she strokes at my cheek. 

"I am." I won't elaborate, but there's no sense in lying to her. She sees through me just like Lena does. She hums in disapproval before taking the seat to my right.

"Don't become like your father, sweetheart." She takes a slow sip at her drink, and I fight the urge to roll my eyes. That's a nice idea, but the reality is I have the weight of everything on my shoulders now.

"Towards the end, your father was a shadow of the man I fell in love with. There is more to life than money and power." I stare into my glass, taking in her words. My father raised me in his image, telling me that the company and the pack came before my needs. It's all I've known. I simply don't see another way.

"Don't forget your happiness. Don't forget about love." My eyes flick up to her to see that knowing smile on her face. Oh, she's good. An impressive segue. Here we go.

"So, tell me about this mate of yours. What is she like?" She smiles gleefully and places down her drink so she can lean forward to hear all about it. 

"It's complicated, Ma." She tuts at my words, shaking her head in disapproval. All this time, Lena has sat smugly on my left. She's just happy it's me getting the heat this time.

"Love is complicated, son." She claps her hands excitedly and starts rubbing them together. "So, when am I finally getting some grandbabies!" Lena snorts loudly into her drink as I groan and flop myself back onto the sofa. Ma laughs merrily at my side.

This is going to be a long night.