Her Impossible Mate

13- F*cking Delicious

...Raine...

If that phone hadn't interrupted us, there is no doubt that Zander and I would have shared our first kiss. It wasn't how I'd imagine Zander to lure me in. Something told me he'd be the type to wrap his hand around my throat and pull me in with no regard for my permission. Or maybe that's just how I dreamt it.

His tender touch and search for my approval was attractive in a different way. He continues to surprise me with his duality, making my heart soften to the idea of us. Though I continue to war with myself. The other part of me feels that things could be easier if I just left. Renounce my links to my people and pursue the easy-going, mundane life that Cami has embraced.

The rude interruption had forced reality back in. However, the memory of Zander's stunningly piercing blue eyes filled with such yearning will linger for some time.

His sudden suggestion to get food had caught me off guard. I kept quiet in the car as my mind ticked over what this bond was doing. Was this the bond forcing us together, or am I genuinely attracted to his bad-boy persona? There no denying he's simply gorgeous. And if I didn't think destiny was playing a wicked game, I'm sure he would be just my type. Check my track record- attractive, arrogant assholes litter my brief dating history. But I suppose they are exes for a reason.

As we sat in the restaurant, I was filled with a sense of frustration alongside a feeling of discomfort. I knew exactly where I had seen this place before. 

Eva and her fiery locks, artificially chiselled cheekbones and petite body had sat in this spot on several occasions. I'd seen it in their gossip article photos. I felt hurt that he would take me to the same place he had every other girl. At times he makes me feel like the most important woman in the world, but at other times, I just feel like one of his flings.

That, coupled with the small but expensive dishes that I would never eat, made me uneasy. Thankfully, he picked up on it. Now I can show him what a good date is... if this counts as a date.

I walk us out onto the sidewalk and jog lightly to the edge of the road. Zander is consumed by his phone, presumably sending a message to his driver. I reach my hand out and wave to hail a cab. It pulls to a stop in front of me, and I turn my attention back to Zander with a wide grin.

He frowns deeply, then one brow pops up at the realisation I expect him to get in.

"Uh uh. Nope." He shakes his head firmly, his arms crossing over his chest to reveal bulging biceps. I match his stance, and we are stuck in a staring contest. I give in first.

"Come on! I've had a taste of your world, so now you have to step into my world. And in my world, we take cabs and lyfts." I bat my eyelashes and pout with the hope it will wear him down. He sighs heavily but stalks over to the waiting cab.

"What's a 'lyft'?" He grumbles as he folds into the back seat. I chuckle as I scoot in next to him. I give the driver the address then shuffle back to get comfortable.

"It smells in here." His warm breath fans my neck as he leans down to whisper his complaint. I try to hold in my laughter.

"Welcome to the real world, princess." He moans in frustration as I giggle at his discomfort. I watch as the familiar streets zoom by on the journey to our destination.

Five minutes later, we are in Downtown. The cab pulls to a stop at my intended 'restaurant'. I pay the driver, and we both shuffle out. Zander brushes the creases from his sleek suit. He still grumbles to himself in displeasure- the absence of luxury obviously irks him.

I smile with glee as I trot over to my favourite Taco place. It's a greasy little takeaway shop that makes the most delicious tacos. I came here most nights after a shift at the club as they were open late.

Zander sulks behind me though I can see a hint of a smile at my delight. I feel emboldened in my natural environment. He is the fish out of water now, and it's oddly charming. His annoyance masks his discomfort of not being in control. I imagine there have only been rare occasions where he felt uncertain in his surroundings.

I wait until he reaches my side then pull him into the shop with me.

"Raine!" I earn my usual warm greeting from Manny. He furrows his brow and checks his watch. "You're about 11 hours early." I chuckle. I don't think anyone here has seen me in daylight unless it was nearing sunrise.

His frown deepens further as he scans over my outfit, then transfers his gaze to Zander.

"New job?" He ventures, still taking in Zander's chic appearance. I nod vigorously, and he beams back at us. 

"Congratulations! What can I get you? On the house, of course." He tips his cap at me then winks. Zander tenses slightly at my side. 

"Just the usual, please. And another for him." I tip my head towards Zander. Manny nods and busies himself with our order. 

We chit chat casually while he cooks away. Zander stands firm at my side, offering no sound, only a deep frown. 

Once our food is complete, I thank Manny for his kindness and leave with Zander on my heels. 

He stays silent as I lead him over to my usual bench. I gesture for him to sit, but he doesn't move. I shrug at him and proceed to sit and open up my taco wrapper.

He eyes me carefully as I take a large bite. Sighing deeply in defeat, he bends into the seat next to me.

"So, this is what you eat?" He holds up his taco and investigates it thoroughly. I offer an 'mhmm' to answer his question as I take another big bite.

"You think this is better than what I was offering?" His tone is one of annoyance, but I turn to him with a full mouth and nod eagerly. His eyes narrow while he mulls over my answer. And then he surprises me by letting out a little chuckle. He pulls the taco up to his mouth and takes a full bite. I raise my eyebrows in anticipation of his response. He chews with his eyes closed before let out a deep hum of satisfaction.

"Told you so." I smile brightly up at him. He pumps his eyebrows in response, his mouth still full of the delicious food. He gulps it down, and his face brightens with a genuine smile.

"So, how did you find this place?" He takes another bite after his question. This feels nice. He feels easier to talk to like this.

"I used to stay around here when I first made it to the city. This was my bench, actually." I chuckle though there are some painful memories of that time. Zander glances over in confusion. I forget he really doesn't know anything about me. "I struggled for food most of the time, but Manny noticed me and brought me out leftovers or whatever he could spare." Zander has stopped eating and diverted his full attention to me. His brows knot together in concern, the realisation that I had been homeless at one time probably dawning on him. "And when I moved in with Cami, I brought her here. Then I would come for dinner- or breakfast, I suppose- after the club. I wanted to pay him back for all his help, but he wouldn't take any money. So I made sure he got as much custom from me as possible." I try to avoid Zander's gaze and continue to munch on my taco. He sits still, watching me eat. After a few minutes, he sighs heavily.

"Raine, can I ask why you are packless?" Our eyes connect, and I can see by the sadness circling his icy blue orbs that he already knows on some level. We stay stuck on each others eyes, mines starting to glaze over at the thought of sharing my traumas with him. I gulp back the lump in my throat of the tears that threaten to fall. Clearing my throat, I finally pull my eyes from his.

"It's... uh well..." I clear my throat again as words to describe my experiences fail me. 

They neglected me. They abused me. They stole my childhood. They took away everything that gave me hope.

None of the words seemed to hold the full power of the damage they caused. But I had to start with something.

"Well, when my parents died, my position in the pack changed. I was treated like an outsider. It started by taking away my belongings. Then I didn't have a room. They refused to feed me until I earned it..." Zander's strong frame tenses beside me, his eyes blaze with fury. I'm reluctant to keep going, but I suppose sharing this might give him insight into why I am the way I am with him. "Alpha Jared liked making an example out of me. He thought it kept everyone else in line. He would punish me in front of people, usually for things I didn't do. One night when I'd had enough, I fought back. He beat me until I could barely breathe. That's when I knew, if I didn't leave, they would kill me." I continue to avoid his rage-filled stare, though I notice his fisted hands vibrating in anger and his knuckles turning white. A threatening growl rumbles through his chest. There is no lust or desire like the growls I'd heard from him previously. No, this growl is raw and filled with a terrifying fury. His eyes flare with that of his inner beast threatening to break loose. He shakes his head while taking sharp breaths. Minutes pass, and I still refuse to look at him, embarrassed of my previous weak and pathetic self.

"Raine." His voice is still thick with anger though he has calmed significantly. His hand reaches out, and he engulfs my hand with his own in comfort. "I'm sorry that happened to you." I look up at him with the sting of tears in my eyes again. I give him a half-hearted smile and a sad shrug.

"Don't be. If I hadn't experienced that, I wouldn't be the strong person I am today. I've done a lot of work to get to where I am. I'm happy here." My voice wobbles though the sentiment is true. I am happier now. I've built myself up in the last four years.

"Though, if I hadn't had such a negative pack experience, I might not feel so inclined to run from you." I try to lighten the mood and push my shoulder into his playfully. His demeanour doesn't shift, clearly not appreciating the joke. Sometimes if you don't laugh, you'll cry. I definitely use humour to cope. He'll get used to it.

"I want to take you home now." His tone has an icy feel, his face still deepened into a frown. I nod, scared to go against him in this mood. He pulls out his phone to call his driver. When the car pulls up two minutes later, he stands, keeping my hand swallowed by his and leads me over. He opens the door and guides me in, still refusing to drop my hand. The connection feels nice like he might never let me go. I smile to myself as he rubs his thumb over the back of my hand. 

"Thank you." It comes out as a whisper. His head turns to face me with a puzzled expression. "For letting me take you somewhere that I felt comfortable. And for listening to me." I smile gently, and his face relaxes. He brings my hand up to his mouth and places a tender kiss on the back of it. Warmth circulates my body at the caring gesture. I feel the flush bleed across my cheeks and look away quickly while my heart hammers in my chest.

The rest of the journey is silent. But a comfortable silence.

We arrive at my apartment block, and he helps me out of the car.

"I'll walk you up." I glance up to see his firm features staring down. It's clear this isn't a question, so I just nod obediently.

We walk through the lobby without conversation. An air of tension looms over us. Why does he want to accompany me to my apartment? I can think of one reason why. And although I might have fantasised about it, I'm not sure I am ready to go there with him. While I have enjoyed our time together, I still have reservations about fully submitting to the whole idea of being mates. Not to mention, submitting to him means submitting to the Alpha. The idea of someone having so much control over me only reminds me of my past experiences.

The elevator doors open on my floor, and he waits for me to exit before following closely behind. I reach into my purse to find my keys and fiddle with them on the short walk to my door.

I draw to a stop at my door and turn to face him, the jangle of my keys the only noise to cut through the thick air around us.

"This is me." My head gestures towards my door. His stoic face turns to look over my plain black door. 

"Good. I know where to find you should you decide to run again." His mouth slides into a playful smirk, and his eyes twinkle with mischief. His anger seems to have calmed. A giggle slips from my lips, making me sound like some little schoolgirl with a childish crush. I look up at him through my lashes, a light blush creeping across my cheeks. His jaw tightens as his breathing picks up.

"I'll see you tomorrow." Before I fully register what he said, he nods curtly and leaves me standing at my door. I watch him walk to the elevator, my face twisted into a confused frown. That is not how I thought his departure would go. And he said I give him whiplash.

With a disappointed sigh, I unlock my door and retreat to my apartment. I'm quick to kick off these pinching shoes, throw my keys onto the kitchen counter and drop my handbag in defeat.

My body falls back to be supported by the door, and I press my head back to look to the ceiling. After our close call in his office, I thought for sure he would try to kiss me again. In fact, I was hoping he would. A kiss could tell me what I should do. Maybe after having a taste, the novelty would wear off. Or not.

I draw in deep breaths to calm myself and question why he left so suddenly. All I can think of is that finding out more about me, seeing who I really am, made him realise I'm not the woman for him. Better to know now, I guess. 

As my mind runs in circles, a sharp knock startles me and causes me to jump away from the door. My heart bangs ferociously in my chest at the unexpected interruption. I roll my eyes at my dramatic reaction and chuckle at myself. It's probably just Cami needing her fix of me.

I pull the door open, and I draw in a sharp breath at the sight of my visitor.

Zander stands with his hands gripping firmly on either side of the door frame, strong arms straining through the constricting fabric of his suit. His breathing is shallow and uneven, his head tilted down with a deep frown and hungry stare. My eyes bulge as he pulls his bottom lip into his mouth, letting his teeth roll over it. A primal rumble vents from his chest, the lusty kind I enjoy.

As quick as lightning, he is upon me, his hand swiftly reaching around my neck to fist in my hair. Without waiting for permission, his lips crush onto mine. A squeak of surprise escapes my mouth, but the ecstasy of our connection is quick to cause me to surrender to him. My hands find his shoulders to steady myself against his ferocity. His free hand gives me a bruising squeeze at my waist while the other remains tightly fisted at the nape of my neck, holding me firmly in place. I am trapped and absolutely at his mercy.

We move perfectly in sync with each other, passion and desire driving us both. My hands slide over his strong shoulders and up into his hair. I reach up on my tiptoes to keep us closer than seems possible, the absence of my shoes causing me to lose a few inches against his tall frame.

His grip subsides at the realisation I am mirroring his energy. His hands slip their way to hold each side of my face gently as our tongues swirl together in a heated tangle for control. The initial intensity has subsided slightly. The kiss now deepens, moving slow and passionate with a lingering sense of tenderness. 

Eventually, we slow to a stop. Zander's hands still cup my face tenderly, his forehead resting on mine as he breathes heavily to recover from the release of our kiss. My breathing is also rough and shallow, only now realising how starved of oxygen I had become in the heat of the moment.

"I couldn't go one more day without having a taste." The hungry husk in his voice tells me he wants more. It would be so easy to bend to his will. After experiencing this, the idea of submitting to him feels almost enticing. 

When it looks like he could dip back down for seconds, he forces himself away from me. He tilts his head back, his eyes closing as he draws in a ragged breath.

"F*cking delicious." He whispers it roughly to the ceiling. Seeing how affected he is fills me with pride. I did that. I lick at my lips hungrily, finding the taste of him still lingers on my tongue. Warmth floods through my core, the distance between us leaving me standing in a puddle of my own desire.

His hungry gaze returns to me. He runs his tongue over his bottom lip, inhales deeply, then turns to leave abruptly.

I stand quietly in the sudden solitude. The only noise is my broken breaths as I try to calm the fire inside. My fingers run over my swollen lips, puffed up with the passion of Zander's ambush. His absence leaves me bereft of his touch, his taste. More alarmingly, I am left desperate for more and craving all of him. Though, perhaps that was his plan all along.