Her Impossible Mate

18- I'm Yours

...Raine...

I watch as Zander forces himself away. The restraint on his face as when I called him 'Sir' was evident, but he held back and left me. 

I close the door after it's clear he has left. An ecstatic smile cracks across my face, and I break out into a silly happy dance. 

This weekend has been just perfect. It is everything I needed to give myself to Zander. My walls had crumbled swiftly at the natural connection and ease of being around each other. Surrendering to his touch was an unexpected development but the best decision I've ever made. The way he commanded my body and shattered it with such skill and determination will replay in my head, always. 

I shudder at the memory of his hands, his tongue, his... F*ck. I thought those experiences only happened in stories. I've been settling for mediocre men. Never again.

My phone pings from my pocket to break me from the visions of our passion. It's Cami checking in on me as she's had radio silence since I let her know I'd be out of town. 

I decide I need to spill this weekend's endeavours with her- a kind of debrief of my thoughts and feelings is required. Wandering through into the living room, I dial her number. She answers immediately, obviously excited to hear the gossip.

"Well, you dirty little minx... How was your weekend with Mr Hunk?" I giggle at her enthusiasm, knowing that even though she jokes, she will definitely not expect the sordid story I have to tell.

"It was good... We uh..." I pause, not sure of the words to use. I suppose there's no point dancing around the fact. "We had sex."

Cami's scream pounds my ear, and I have to pull the phone from my ear to protect my eardrum. 

"Oh my MOON GODDESS! Please, tell me everything. I want dirty details. Wait, I'm coming over. Do you have wine? Of course, you do. I'll be there ASAP! You little sl-" She cuts her rambling off by hanging up the phone. I shake my head and chuckle at her dramatics. 

I'm glad she's coming over. I miss not having her here for these conversations. Previously, she was readily available for every minor inconvenience. She lives about twenty minutes away now, and although it doesn't seem much, her immediate council has been sorely missed. That, and just coming home to an empty apartment, has felt pretty lonely.

I had to fight the urge to ask Zander to stay with me. Although I'm sure he's used to much more luxury than my lumpy mattress and empty fridge, just having him around settles me. It was wholly unreasonable to expect him to stay with me when we are expected at work tomorrow- the logistics were just not possible. Also, I really had to make sure I didn't become a stage five clinger. This rapid change in our relationship dynamic is scary and confusing to navigate. That's why talking it out with Cami is so vital. She'll keep me in check.

As I unpack my bag, the front door burst open and Cami's call out for me booms through the apartment. I roll my eyes and go to greet her.

She runs at me and squeals as she pulls me into a bear hug, shaking me with excitement.

"Cami. I can't breathe." I manage to wheeze out through the bruising hug. She releases me with a laugh and bounces enthusiastically in front of me. 

We grab glasses and a bottle and sit on the sofa. Still, Cami is restless with the desperation to hear all about this weekend. When I start to tell her the story, her eyes bulge and her mouth drops. She squeaks in delight for me and gulps back copious amounts of wine, stopping herself from interrupting me. 

"And then he said he would pick me up tomorrow." I finish to her nodding along, her eyes narrowed in thought. 

"So, you skipped over some of the juicy stuff. I'll hold up my hands as a measure, and you can tell me when to stop." She holds up her hands and slowly parts them as a measure of his 'size'. Her eyes bulge in disbelief with the increase of the gap.

"Cami!" I shout in embarrassment that she would be so personal. She drops her hands and shakes her head.

"You lucky bi*ch. That big, huh?" I blush at the memories of his naked figure looming over me on the bed. "To be honest, the man does radiate big d**k energy." She nods knowingly, as I grab a cushion to swing at her head. 

We collapse together in a fit of laughter. Cami leans in to give me a hug. Her protective mothering side is coming to the surface. 

"And how do you feel about everything?" She pulls away and tucks a loose strand of hair behind my ear. I smile at her care for me.

"I feel amazing, Cam. He managed to put all my doubts to rest in one weekend together. He listens and cares for my needs, and he doesn't force or control me to do anything I don't want. He hasn't even pressed for me to become a member of the pack, knowing my reservations. Everything felt so easy and natural. I feel so cared for and protected." I sigh, the thoughts of Zander wrapping around my heart to make me feel so content. "It would be so easy to love him, Cami. I could fall at any second." I feel all warm and fuzzy at the admission. Cami looks over me though I see a hint of concern in her eyes. 

"What is it?" I ask, sure she has something to say.

"I think this is all great. You deserve this happiness." She rubs at my shoulder, her voice deliberately soft to soften the blow of her next words. "I'm just worried that this weekend was a love bomb. This gentle and loving Zander is different from the guy you described in the last few weeks. What if the stresses of responsibility prevent him from being consistent with you." My shoulders slump at her concerns. Perhaps because they are the concerns I've had myself but refuse to acknowledge. 

Seeing him in the cabin kitchen on the first morning, the shift in his demeanour was obvious. The drive home from our trip had been quiet. In the easy silence, the concerns of how we would continue this relationship in the city had circled my mind. I could be mistaken, but I swear his shoulders had already tensed upon our return. The burden of his duty might already be weighing on him.

I sigh deeply at the thought. It had been challenging when Zander had pulled back and ignored me. More because he pulled me into this strange environment and abandoned me. The reality of this situation is that he was also just going about his daily life. He owns a high profile and highly successful business while dealing with the politics and logistics of running a pack of hundreds of wolves who look to him for guidance. What if he's too busy for me? What if I don't fit into this lifestyle? 

My stomach knots, and disappointment washes over me. 

"I'm sorry, Raine. I don't mean to ruin the mood. I just worry, is all." She strokes at my hair, and I try to give her a half-hearted smile. "I think this man is head over heels for you. You guys will make this work. I know it." I know she wants to reassure me, but it's a bit late after bringing these worries to the front of my mind. 

Cami pulls me in for a hug before heading off. It's getting late, and I think I could do to be alone with my thoughts anyway.

Anxiety swirls and knots my stomach as I finish unpacking and slump down onto my bed. The 'what ifs' attack my mind as I curl up in a ball and give in to the negative thoughts. My phone goes off from my bedside table to interrupt my pity party. My worry eases as I open the message.

Zander: I can't get you out of my head. I wish you were here in bed with me.

I sit up and smile down at the phone, typing my response.

Me: I wish I was there too.

Zander: Soon. See you tomorrow, my love.

I hold my phone against my chest and fall back onto the bed with a goofy smile. What does the soon mean? He'll see me soon? I'll be there in his bed soon? I f*cking hope it's the latter. 

And with my worries replaced with the memories of Zander's delicious body causing my own to come undone beneath him, I fall into a deep sleep. 

My alarm wakes me too early for my liking. I shower and dress with the anticipation of seeing Zander again. Cami had brought over more appropriate workwear after I pleaded with her. Soon, I'll get my own clothes as it appears this situation will be continuing. While a desk job is not my preferred situation, being close to Zander definitely makes up for that. As do the friendships I'm building with Lena, Luca and Elijah. I can't speak for any others since all they offer is judgmental stares. Perhaps this week, I'll try to make friends. 

A knock at the door forces me to rush putting on my heels, and grab my handbag. I trot over and open the door to be graced by Zander's overbearing frame towering over me. He's in a perfectly tailored dark grey suit, white shirt and forest green tie. 

His eyes roam my outfit hungrily. The pencil skirt and white blouse combination was a deliberate effort to tease him. The slim, black skirt clings to every curve, and the white blouse is sheer enough to show the delicate lace of my bra while maintaining an air of professionalism. 

His tongue roams over his lip as his eyes reach mine with a suggestive quirk to his brow. I smile innocently back at him, though my stomach flips at his response. 

"Stunning. As always." He leans down for a kiss on my cheek, pausing a little longer while his hand sweeps over the curve of my ass. Memories of what those hands can do spark a wave of arousal to surge through me. 

He pulls back with a smirk and takes my hand in his. We walk out to his car, and he helps me slip into the back seat before sliding in beside me. His hand grips firmly on my thigh as we exchange easy conversation. His phone rings aggressively from his pocket. 

He shoots me an apologetic look before answering. Instantly, his body tenses.

"What?! How... We had a deal... I don't care, shut it down..."

His volume and aggression increase with each sentence. I have no idea what is happening from the one-sided conversation.

My phone pings with a message from Cami.

Cami: You need to see this.

She sends a link to a gossip magazine article, and it's my turn to tense as the title loads on my screen.

Heroux's New Girl: The Stripper Who Danced Her Way to the Top

My heart drops, and my mouth runs dry. Zander is still battling back and forth with whoever is on the phone, so I just sit quietly in my distress. Against my better judgment, I read some snippets from the article. 

Who is Raine Moore, and what makes her so special? The ex-stripper appears to have captured the heart of the cities most eligible bachelor. Was one dance enough to secure this ambitious girls dream of landing one Alexander Heroux... 

I gulp and squirm at the scathing comments on my character. Again I continue.

With Heroux's lively dating history and womanizer ways, one can only wonder- will Raine persist? Or will Alexander's commitment to women remain as changeable as the weather? Time will tell.

The words echo around in my head as my breathing speeds up. Something worse than the words, though, is the attached photos. There is a picture of Zander and me at the bench eating tacos, nothing too invasive about that. But there is also a picture of me on the stage at the club. Taking photos at the club is prohibited for privacy reasons. They had to dig deep to find this. The picture shows me wrapped around the pole dressed in a red lace two-piece. I feel exposed. Violated. A chill washes over me as I stare at the picture, my heart thumping furiously in my chest. It feels like someone is sitting on my chest, pressing so hard something might break.

I hear Zander from beside me, though he sounds like he's underwater. His hand reaches for my cheek and pulls my gaze to his.

"Breathe with me, Raine." I gulp and try to follow his slow breathing pattern. My chest hurts, and my eyes cloud with tears. As the panic subsides, I crumble and fall into his chest. Tears stream and little sobs escape while I try to gulp back the emotions. 

I'm a nobody. And I like that. I never really thought about what being with someone so influential and well known would do for exposure. I would be picked apart by these merciless vultures. People will form opinions on my previous career or simply for who I am with, not who I am. All I want is to enjoy my relationship with Zander. But this seems to be a part of his lifestyle. Can I live my life in the public eye?

Zander rubs softly at my back, though I feel his anger in his tensed body. There's a rumble of a growl sitting in his chest, desperate to rip free. The car pulls to a stop, and instantly camera flashes and knocks on the window attack us. 

 "Mr Heroux, what makes Raine so special?" "Was it love at first sight?" "Mr Heroux! Doe she still dance for you?"

"Drive." He barks the order at the driver, who obeys instantly. His arms tighten around me in his rage, his chest rising erratically, and the rumble finally breaks free. 

"I'll take you home." His tone is firm, not the comforting words I hoped for. I pull back and wipe the tears away.

"Will you stay?" My bottom lip quivers as I try to calm myself. 

"I can't, Raine. I have to fix this." He frowns deeply with obsidian eyes of anger. I chew at my lip and think. 

This is his world. I have stepped into it, and I have to step up. I can't afford to have one foot out the door, and I can't run at the first hurdle. I have to be strong. And I feel strongest at Zander's side. I take a few deep breaths and rub away the last of the tears.  

"I think we should walk in together." I nod with conviction, my voice firm. He tilts his head in confusion. "I want to show them I am strong. We are strong." His deep frown relaxes, and his dark eyes calm.

"Raine. You don't have to do this. What they said was..."

"Horrible. But they can't break me that easily." I hold onto his hand in my lap for security. Of course, nerves are still swirling inside, but I force myself to remain outwardly calm. Zander's stoic face curves into one of soft admiration. 

He brings his hand up to brush two fingers down the side of my face. I close my eyes at his tender touch and sigh heavily at the contact. 

"I'll get rid of this article. And I'll make them pay." His hand runs behind my neck and pulls me forward, so our foreheads press together. We stay there a few moments, eyes closed and enjoying the calm.

He places a heavy kiss on my forehead then signals the driver to turn back to the office. 

He phones Luca to have a few people meet us on arrival to help with crowd control. As the Crescent building comes into view, butterflies attack my stomach. 

I hold onto Zander's hand in my lap, drawing little circles on his palm to try to distract myself. Even in this sh*tty situation, I am glad to have him by my side.

"Remember when you told me that you were mine?" My voice is a whisper, and I still continue to tickle at his hand. He twists to face me and nods at my question. 

"Well. I'm yours." I raise my head to look up at him, and his face graces a bright smile I've never seen before. 

The car stops suddenly, and the shouts and flashing lights break the tender moment. Zander's face drops, and he grumbles as he positions himself to exit the car, my hand still in his as he shuffles us toward the door. 

He looks back to check if I'm ready. I nod, trying hard to ignore the painful twists of anxiety in my stomach. 

He opens the door and steps out, turning quickly to help me out too. He holds my hand firmly and pulls my body close to him. We walk through the crowds of people, cameras and voice recorders thrust in our direction as people shout for answers. 

Who knew gossip was this important. 

My eyes dance around, struggling to focus on anything, my senses confused.

Zander squeezes my hand.

"Eyes on me." He whispers down at me, his voice rough with restraint. I turn my head to look up to him to see his frown and tensed jaw. 

He pulls my hand up to his mouth and places a gentle kiss on the back of my hand. I smile and keep my eyes on him for the rest of the short walk to reception. Lost in the safety of his eyes, I barely notice walking into the sanctuary of Crescent Corp.

I sigh in relief as Zander walks us swiftly to the elevator. 

We stand in silence, just the two of us in the elevator. Zander's hand still holds mine like he never wants to let go. It feels like a small victory to have walked through the crowds of petty journalists. But a victory all the same. I hope that shows Zander that I want this, that I'm willing to deal with the demands of his position. 

"So," He tilts his head down to me with a mischievous smirk on his face. "You're mine?" I blush under his hungry stare before he lunges to press me against the elevator wall. His lips devour mine with complete disregard for where we are. He slows himself and pulls back to scan my face.

His dark and lusty eyes bore into mine as I try to catch my breath. He smirks again.

"Mine." He growls and descends on me again.