Her Impossible Mate

5- Impossible

...Raine...

I ran out of there, mumbling my apologies, just desperate to get out. All I managed to do before my escape was ask Shel to take over for me without an explanation, then grab my trench coat to throw over my underwear. Luckily, I'm well practised in these heels because when I managed to break free of the club, I ran home and didn't stop the whole way.

Bursting into the apartment, Cami and Kevin break free of their heated make-out session in shock. I don't even stop, barely noticing them on the sprint to my room. The bedroom door slams behind me, and I shake myself free of the coat. Everything feels too much. Even my skin feels too tight, my body and mind feeling suffocated. I pace desperately, trying to calm myself.

I have a mate. An impossible mate.

My erratic breathing causes my head to spin and my body to feel weak. Cami's soft hands catch my shoulders and guide me to sit at the edge of my bed; I didn't even hear her come into my room.

Shallow breaths force my chest to rise and fall rapidly, black dots covering my vision. Cami's mouth is moving, but I can't hear her. My stomach twists and turns as I try to calm myself without success. One more significant squirm of my stomach and the sudden excess of saliva indicates it's time to throw up. I push Cami from in front of me. Bolting to the bathroom, I only just make it to the toilet before the contents of my stomach are ejected into the bowl.

Cami is with me once again, her hand rubbing soothing circles on my back. Tears trickle down my face, both at the strain of vomiting and the unexpected revelations of tonight. I'm a vomity, snotty, teary mess, and after ten minutes with my head in the toilet, I have nothing left to give. I slump back onto the tile floor, wiping at my mouth with the back of my hand. Cami has been calm and patient, as always. She helps me up and pushes some hair from my face.

"Take a shower. I'll grab some water and a cup of tea for you." She gives me a gentle nod of encouragement before she leaves. I am so grateful she knows how to support me in times like this.

I sidle over to the sink and take in my dishevelled appearance. I'm still in my black lace set for the club with one strap slipped from my shoulder in all the commotion. Streaks of mascara run over my now red and blotchy cheeks, and my dark hair is no longer perfectly waved.

I sigh defeatedly before unclasping my bra and slipping out of my sexy ensemble. Turning on the shower, I don't wait for the water to warm up before stepping in. The icy water stings at my back as goosebumps erupt over my whole body. It's not too long before the scalding hot water I crave comes pouring out. My body floods with relief, the steam offering me a brief cocoon of safety.

Once I feel as comfortable as I can, I step from the shower and wrap myself in a soft towel. Cami is waiting for me in my room with the glass of water and cup of hot tea, as promised. She gestures for me to sit, and I notice she has my hairbrush in her hand.

When Cami first found me, she would brush my hair as I told the most difficult stories. Stories of my parents' death or when I told her of the packs' mistreatment and abuse. Having her brush my hair while I spoke made it manageable.

I sit where she gestures, and she starts to brush, patiently waiting for me to start. I gather my thoughts and take a deep breath.

"I think-" I gulp, vomit threatening to rise up again. "I think I've found my mate." Her brushing rhythm falters, but she catches herself and picks it back up. To anyone else, this might seem like an exciting turn of events. But Cami knows my fears. We have talked many times about how grateful we are that we will never be assigned a mate. The lack of control being destined to someone brings just makes me shudder. Being forced into love and commitment to someone seems unnatural; the whole premise is problematic. With my experiences of lack of control and abuse of power, I couldn't think of anything worse than being forced to be with a mate.

But more than that, this should be impossible for me. Both Cami and I are from packs known to be mongrels. Our bloodlines are so far from pure, muddied with everything but the original pack bloodlines. And evolution has dictated only wolves with significant ties to the blood of the original packs can have a mate. We're talking high born purebloods, those who still use the names of the originals. Not me.

Cami continues her soothing brush strokes. My mind races with all the 'whys' and 'hows' of this situation. There is nothing special about me. I am just some random wolf who ran away from her abusive, backwater mongrel pack. This isn't my destiny; it's not possible. And yet, that feeling was unmistakable. I am consumed and drawn towards the handsome stranger.

Ew. Handsome? And so it begins.

I explain to Cami the feelings leading up to tonight's encounter, along with the story of how things played out tonight. She stops her brushing halfway and sits beside me, my hand in hers. And when it's over, we both collapse back onto my bed in exhaustion.

"What if it could be a good thing?" Cami's words sound foreign from her mouth. I roll to face her and prop my head up with my arm.

"A good thing?" I am shocked she could think that. She matches my pose, soft brown eyes staring into mine.

"They say mates are assigned from the Mood Goddess herself..." I roll my eyes. I am long past believing in a higher power, for wolves and for humans. "Hear me out, Raine. What if she felt you needed this after everything. That this man can be your soulmate and bring you the happiness you've always deserved. Okay, you're not a pureblood, of that we can be sure. But maybe this happened for a reason, and maybe the reason is for you to have your happily ever after."

"This isn't a fairytale, Cami." I push myself from the bed to grab my oversized t-shirt. Cami sits up, concerned eyes scanning over me as I get ready for bed. I look down at her and place my hands firmly on my hips.

"This isn't what I want." She lets out a weary sigh at my decision, but I know she understands. She slaps at her thighs as she stands.

"Then you don't have to embrace it." We nod in agreement before she pulls me into a tight hug. "All I ever want is for you to be happy, Raine." I squeeze her back even tighter in response.

After she confirms I'm ok, she leaves me, and I collapse into bed. I wrap myself in the many blankets covering my bed while my mind replays everything over and over. In the mix of everything, I forgot my promise to Jamie. 'I won't let you down'. I guess I've f*cked that up then.

I stay in my bed for days, wanting to avoid my feelings and avoid the world. Obviously, I can't do that forever. My phone has been blowing up with messages from Shel. She is concerned that I ran out without any explanation and have now seemingly dropped off the face of the planet. There is one message from Jamie that I keep reading over and over.

Jamie: When you come in, we need to talk.

That's definitely not a good thing. I can guess what Jamie has to say, and I really can't protest his decision. He told me very clearly this was my last chance. And I f*cked it up. How do I tell my very human boss that I ran because some magical, mystical bond threatened to bind me to a strange man for the rest of my life?

Sunday rolls around, and I decide today's the day. I drag myself out of bed and throw on a pair of basic ripped jeans and a plain t-shirt. I grab my leather jacket at the door and put on my sneakers. Cami is out with Kevin, so I have no one to say goodbye to. I better get used to it as it looks like next week will be our last living together.

The sky is stormy to match my mood as I walk the city streets to the club. My stomach knots and twists the closer I get. Memories of the feelings I'd had at the club only nights ago plague my mind. So much so, I could swear a shadow of that feeling tickled through my veins at this moment. I shake it off. One problem at a time, please.

I enter the club to a small shriek, and Shel comes rushing over to me and engulfs me in her arms. Once she's finished with the embrace, she steps back and folds her arms, her eyebrows pulled into an angry frown.

"Where the hell have you been?! I've been worried sick! What the hell happened?!" Her voice is uncharacteristically firm and surprisingly cause my eyes to water. She sees my upset and pulls me in for another hug. I'm not a hugger, but this felt strangely comforting.

"I'm sorry, I was just so worried." Her sweet tone returns as I sniff into her shoulder. She pulls back again, scanning me over.

"Now, who was that guy? A crazy ex?" She's frowning again, but her voice is one of concern. I don't even know how to answer, so I just nod meekly to confirm whatever story she's concocted. She goes to speak again but is interrupted by Jamie's booming voice.

"Raine! My office." His tone is one of definite anger. I offer Shel a solemn smile, and she returns the gesture. My shoulders slump as I walk to Jamie's office.

I don't even know if it's worth sitting for this. I have a sinking feeling this chat will be quick. Jamie stalks around to the other side of the desk but doesn't bother to sit either. His jaw clenches and releases several times before he speaks.

"I gave you another chance, against my better judgement." His tone is even, which is more intimidating than if he was obviously angry. I want to object, to tell him I had a good reason to run out. But to a human, my story means nothing.

"I'm sorry." My voice is hoarse, my emotions threatening to spill out. The words do nothing to improve Jamie's mood or the tension in the room.

"I'm sick of sorrys, Raine." He rubs his hand over his chin in exasperation and takes a deep sigh for his final blow. "You're fired. Effective immediately. Get your things and go." His arms cross, signalling the end of our one-sided conversation and the end of my time here. I want to protest, to plead my case, but I already know from the disappointment and anger in his eyes that there is no point.

I nod sheepishly and leave. I wait until the click of the door latch behind me tells me I'm out of view before moving to catch a tear threatening to fall.

Scurrying to the changing room to grab whatever is left in my locker, I pass the entrance to the VIP room that sealed my destiny. That low hum of this ridiculous bond returns to my chest. The feeling doesn't inspire happiness or joy, it just sets a fire in my stomach. I stomp through to grab my stuff, shoving it all aggressively into my bag.

Thankfully, everyone is working so I can make it out without any awkward goodbyes. While I'm sad to be leaving, it's hard to focus when my heart is doing somersaults while my body is on fire. It feels like reliving that evening all over again. I step out in the brisk evening air hoping for it to comfort and soothe the fire reverberating around my body, but the opposite happens.

I frantically scan my surroundings, now aware that this cannot just be the shadow of a feeling from memory. My eyes find his immediately, that magnetic attraction still infuriatingly present. He is already striding towards me. I scoff at his confidence. Not tonight, satan.

I glare at him halfway across the road, then turn and march purposefully in the opposite direction. I hear his steps hasten behind me and respond in kind. Unfortunately, his impressively tall frame gives him the advantage.

His hand wraps firmly around my wrist to stop me from continuing on. Little volts of electricity shoot up my arm from the skin to skin contact. I growl to let my disapproval be known. He pulls me to face him, but I am quick to rip my wrist from his grasp.

This close up of him is almost enough to send me into a full fluster. He really is a handsome f*cker. His full, dark brows are etched into an irritated frown, his jaw is clenched in frustration to reveal just how chiselled his face is. But I won't let that get in the way of how I truly feel. This is not what I want.

"Do. Not. Touch. Me." I bite out the words, perturbed at his sense of entitlement over me already. His sly smirk only stokes the flames of my rage.

"But you are mine." This complete asshole! How dare he lay claim to me in such a way. I scoff again and continue on my journey home. He jogs to catch up.

"Hey! Can't we just talk?" His tone of voice has shifted from his rough and demanding one only seconds ago. I stop suddenly, so he jogs past me a little before catching himself and turning to face me.

"Look. I don't want this... us. This shouldn't be- I can't- No. I don't want to talk. I don't want to get to know you. I want to just move on a forget this ever happened." My voice is strong, but I don't know how much longer I can keep it together. His eyes scan over me curiously. Before either of us can speak, a droplet of water splashes on his cheek, then one of my nose. I look up to the stormy sky just as the heavens open, a sudden downpour of rain drenching us both instantly.

He grabs my wrist again and pulls me across the road toward a fancy black car. I could fight his grasp, but something stops me. He rushes me into the passenger seat and jogs around to take his place beside me.

I hang my head in my hands and groan.

"Let me take you home. Please?" I peak up at him from behind my hands. His face has softened slightly to one of concern. His eyebrows are no longer etched into a deep frown but now crinkle with what appears to be worry. The bold and commanding man was fading away, and it's kind of endearing.

No. NO! That's just what the bond is making me think.

I snap back up in my seat.

"Am I hell telling you where I live!" I practically snarl at him. This appears to only aggravate him, his nostrils flaring at my tone.

"Darling, now I know you exist, I would hunt you to the ends of the earth." His voice is low and threatening, yet I have no concern for my safety. Butterflies tickle at my stomach, my body betraying me with its approval of his words. "But if you told me, it would save me some time and resources." I try to maintain my steely exterior, continuing to glare at him. My body, on the other hand, could melt into a puddle. This man exuded power and confidence, and when he softened even just a little, I was ready to explode. Damn it, damn it, DAMN IT!

I force out a sigh of defeat and mumble my address. He starts the car, and we drive in silence for the first few minutes.

"What's your name?" His eyes are fixed firmly on the road, and his voice is steady. I sigh again. I guess this is happening.

"Raine." The corner of his mouth curls slightly at my response. Again my stomach flutters. "Yours?" I guess that's the next step of the conversation.

"Zander." I nod. Nice name.

The weight of everything this week is pressing down on me. I'm so tired. Everything feels overwhelming. And this? This is ridiculous! I don't want this, but sitting here with him feels so comfortable, so safe. A feeling I've rarely experienced.

"This can't be happening." It comes out all but a whisper, my hand coming to pinch at the bridge of my nose in frustration, my eyes squeezing shut, and my head presses back into the soft leather headrest. His eyes break away from the road to look over me. Clearly, he's not used to comforting distraught women. I can sense him shifting uncomfortably in his seat, unsure of what to do.

We continue in silence until I feel the car stop. Turning my head up, I see the underwhelming sight of my apartment building. The rain has now stopped. The rain clouds that forced us together are probably laughing at us now. Destiny really is a b***h.

"Thanks." I get out quickly, not sure what else I should say or do. He jumps out too and bounds around the car to meet me. I take in his appearance again. We could not be more dissimilar. The contrast of my ripped jeans and messy hair to his sharp suit (that was probably worth three months of my rent) makes me feel uncomfortable. Actually, it makes me feel inadequate. On what planet is this a perfect match?

I just stand there, staring down at my scruffy sneakers. I didn't want to make eye contact. In fact, I didn't want to stand here at all.

"So, I should go." I finally raise my eye line, annoyed at the expected flurry of butterflies from our eye contact. I give him an awkward smile and start to head towards my building.

"Raine?" I stop hesitantly and look back at him. "I like how that feels on my tongue." His words are unexpected but quite charming. I scrunch my nose, bemused by his devious smirk and the quirk of his brow.

"What are you doing tomorrow?" His question has me surprised but happy it's not another command. I chew at my lip, deciding how best to answer. Honesty is the best policy.

"Looking for another job." I shrug. It sounds so mundane amongst the dramas of this week.

He looks deep into my eyes. Taking a step towards me, closing the gap I'd made. My body resists my thought to move away. It would be a lie to say I didn't crave his proximity. His eyes narrow, a cheeky smirk appearing on his lips again. I bite my lip, his proximity allowing the hum of our bond to tickle through my body, building at my core.

His hand reaches for me and tucks a strand of wet hair behind my ear.

"Work for me. Work at my company."