“Of course you didn’t. Because I’m too busy trying to be strong and controlled and together. Too busy pretending I know what I’m doing when really I’m just, I’m just making it up as I go and hoping I don’t destroy everything in the process.”
We stood there in the dark office, both of us breathing hard, both of us stripped down to the fear and hope and desperation underneath.
“I don’t want to fight with you,” I said quietly.
“I don’t want to fight with you either.”
“But we’re going to. Fight, I mean. If this is real, if we’re actually doing this, we’re going to fight about things. Disagree. Make each other crazy.”
“I know.”
“And I’m going to have bad days where I doubt everything and wonder if I made the right choice staying here.”
“I know that too.”
“And you’re going to have moment
